Chapter 1.5: Elementary, My Dear Watson.
On the previous occasion: Pepper grew up and creeped on Anathema and her boyfriend, Marjorie grew up pretty but a total party-killer, Zira grew up to be a elderly manager and Agnes grew up, only to be hit in the face with a baseball.
On an unrelated note: I just saw the new Sherlock Holmes and it was AMAZING! I won't ramble on, but if you have seen it and want to geek out, hit me up. If you haven't seen it, go!
This accurately sums up what Agnes and Marjorie usually think about. Agnes worries about the state of marriages, while Marjorie focuses on something more tangible: herself.
Aww yeah, who's awesome? Evan is.
Evan: Wait, something seems...different.
I rebuilt the house when everyone was out. I'd offer a house tour, but it sucks.
Anathema: You know what I don't understand? Why some chalkboards are green and others are black.
Marjorie: Does that really matter? I'm trying to finish my homework.
Anathema: It's question number seven.
Really guys? There was no room for Agnes at the table? Not like there was three open seats or anything.
Agnes: I'm fine. The tile floor is comfortable. Honestly.
The days slowly pass. Homework is done in various places, Pepper exercises and Zira continues his mission to prove that not all art sucks. But then disaster strikes.
Burglary!
Zira: Mom... There's a strange man in my room.
Burglar: Heheheheh, I will make millions off of this unused guitar!
This is when Pepper rolled her lifetime wish: To be a super spy, in order to prevent others the pain crime brings.
Just Anna, looking fancy in her pajamas.
Anna: Actually, I'm planning Evan's birthday party.
That's right, Evan's getting older! DO NOT WANT.
The opportunity is not wasted on Marjorie.
Marjorie: So I was reading Conspiracy Weekly and it said that every five hundred years, the Loch Ness monster surfaces, and that it's going to occur this year! I'm so excited!
Reed: Oh...Okay, that's great.
Pepper uses the time to dance with/stare longingly at her best friend Parker. He's an adult, she's a teenager. Not creepy at all. *sarcasm*
Evan: Hmm. I wish to not get old!
Doesn't quite work that way sweetie.
Darnell: Gotta impress my girlfriend's family. Yay! Happy birthday!
Parker: Ugh, fuck this shit, I'm out of here.
Evan: Oh no, I don't think I like this.
Evan:Yeah, I don't enjoy this.
Darnell:Boyfriend duties: full-filled.
Still love you Evan. <3 The next day, Pepper heads over to a friend's house. It was a traumatic experience.
Pepper: There's a television here!
Yeah, but that Manu Keaton-Alto looks like he's about to go crazy. Not to mention Gilberto there behind you.
Pepper: Aw yeah, gotta work out.
You look a bit...excited for that prospect. Did anything sketchy occur at that odd family's house?
Pepper: Geez, no.
Mm-hm, sure.
Marjorie: What the hell is Pepper doing?
It's called exercise. You could try it you know. Pick up a hobby.
Marjorie: I've got a way more awesome hobby.
Making alcoholic beverages. Sounds like a great hobby for a teenager.
Haven't quite mastered it I see.
Marjorie:I have to sample my own drinks you know. You try spinning things after a few drinks.
Let's stop promoting teenage drinking okay? It's not a good idea.
Marjorie: Meh, it's just juice.
Seriously?
Marjorie: Serious as the grave.
You know what this means!
Evan: OH MY GOD, I fucking love birthdays!
Good, because it's a quadruple one.
Not bad!
Derp face, but not hideous clothes or hair.
Hell no.
Here's the CAS shots!
Anathema gained Loner. Her lifetime wish is to be a professional author.
Agnes gained the trait Snob. She turned out quite pretty.
Aziraphale gained the trait Hot-Headed. He grew up cute, but don't worry, he kept his manager chic look.
Anathema: What are you doing mom? You have candles to blow out!
That hair. It must be stopped.
She makes a cute old lady.
Agnes: Excuse me peasants, but I don't believe I am required to participate in this so-called 'birthday celebration.'
Anathema: What do you think you're doing fingers?! That's not allowed.
First thing Agnes does next morning is check herself out in the mirror.
Agnes: Damn girl, looking good.
Getting ready for anyone in particular?
Agnes: I invited Anthony over.
Anthony, eh?
They chat about music for hours, as they're both virtuosos.
As evidenced by this.
Zira: Ugh, Agnes has her hooligan friend over.
I'm sensing some hostility here.
Zira: No shit Sherlock.
It's beautiful. Now sell it.
Zira: Now he's doing homework!
Oh yes, how dare he.
Zira: I'm going upstairs.
Agnes pulls Anthony away from his homework to complain about Marjorie.
Anthony: Mm, yes. I see. Could I talk to you about something for a second?
Agnes: Yeah, shoot.
Anthony: Urm, well there's this person I like, but I don't think they really like me...
Agnes: Who? Come on, I'm your best friend. I won't tell anyone.
Anthony: Promise? You won't get weirded out?
Agnes: I promise. Unless it's my mom or Mrs. Crumplebottom. That'd be too creepy.
Anthony: ...It's Aziraphale.
Agnes: As in my twin brother?
Anthony: Yeah.
Agnes: Okay, I'm a little weirded out, but um, that's great!
Anthony: Except that he hates me.
Agnes: Hates is a strong word. I'll talk to him.
Anthony: Subtly.
Agnes: Yeah, sure.
Zira: What the hell? He's still here?
Anna: Anthony? He seems like a sweet boy. His parents are very nice.
Meanwhile, Anathema decided to go fishing at the science facility.
Anathema: This is so boring! :D
But then, a wild Paparazzi Lady appears! Will you FIGHT or RUN?
ANATHEMA chooses FIGHT.
ANATHEMA uses INSULT.
It's super effective!
The wild Paparazzi Lady flees!
Anathema receives no money, a bit of pride mixed with shame and the urge to go to a dive bar!
Anathema: Well, I'm having fun.
Try dancing. It can be quite enjoyable.
Anathema: Nah, I'm going to throw sharp things with my eyes closed.
I've done much worse with my eyes open.
Zira: And then she started asking me what I thought of Anthony, if I liked him or whatever. So I was all "Your little hoodrat friend makes me sick."
Susanna: What'd you get for four, part c?
Anathema decides to trek to the library to begin her first novel, Gravediggers. While there, she runs into someone.
Anathema: Darnell! I'm so glad that you're here.
Darnell: I'm really glad you're here too. I just want to let you know, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.
Anathema: That's so sweet Darnell. In fact, I wasn't sure that I was going to do this today, but now I know I am.
Darnell: What? I'm very confused.
Anathema: I mean, will you-fuck.
Recovered.
Anathema: Will you stay with me and make nerdy references?
Darnell: Yes! I love you Anathema.
Anathema: I know.
Pepper: Anathema's wedding is tonight. You ready?
Marjorie: Hell yes. I'm going to make some awesome juice beverages. Reed's coming over early to try them. Speaking of which, he's here.
Reed bravely tries one of Marjorie's green stench concoctions.
I'm guessing it's not a big hit.
He doesn't seem to be too focused on drink testing though.
Reed: Looking good Marjorie.
However, not only is Marjorie un-flirty, while Reed is quite the lady's man, he's also charismatic! The horror!
He seems to have luck with fire related pick up lines. Something you're not telling us Marjorie?
Oh dear. There's a reason you're un-flirty I think.
But apparently he liked it!
Pepper: Practicing making drinks my ass.
Anathema: I really appreciate the thought, but there's no need to make drinks for the wedding. Just enjoy yourself.
Marjorie: If you're sure. It wouldn't be any trouble to-
Anathema: No, no. We're good.
Agnes: Good luck tonight Anthony. I'm rooting for you.
Anthony: Thanks Agnes.
I'm going to end this here. Next time: Anathema gets married, Agnes discovers a secret, Anthony accomplishes something and more. Also, there will be an heir poll after 1.6.