Often when Anna and I are discussing something trans-related, the term "feminine" is used by one or both of us, and I have found that I have difficulty describing what it means to me
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it's a little bit of everything, all rolled into oneoutofsynchJune 5 2008, 01:25:35 UTC
hmmm....well, I would first challenge the implication that femeninity as a social construct is therefore not real, but I'm not sure that's entirely what you were thinking in the first place it's just something I read into. :) honestly most of what makes us who we are is a combination of bio and social. with respect to this point: Is femininity about being drawn to pretty things, wearing pink and liking skirts? Is it about what you like... how you like to look? Is femininity related to your mannerisms? Is your level of femininity subconscious... or is it something that you can change? Are we "feminine" and "masculine" based on our personality traits? I think you are focusing specifically on the socially defined aspects. Behaviors, likes, personalities can be genetically pre-dispositioned, and society will step in and label them one way or the other. That's actually where the conflict arrises for people who have a like that society says is against "the way they should be". to an extent, you can change how masculine or feminine you are, just like you can change any behavior. You can become aware of the way you do certain things, and actively persue changing that. That's actually the line of thinking that sends people to straight camps. but it's also the line of thinking that helps people overcome phobias, OCD, eating disorders etc. The method isn't necisarily good or bad, but how it's used and whether or not it makes you happier once your done. why would you want or need to have a more feminine personality? That doesn't make you more or less of a woman! Then she explained that it is to make your mannerisms more feminine, like the way you walk and stuff. I was talking to my girl about her boobs and i said she didn't need them to be a girl, and she said she knew that, but she did need them for society to treat her like a girl. So in that sense, it's a social thing again.
in the end though, after all that, I don't think what you suggest here is possible: I feel like there should be a different word for these two concepts.. Like "social femininity" Vs "biological femininity" because "femininity" by my account at least, is socially defined. it's the social grouping for behaviors/likes/etc.
honestly most of what makes us who we are is a combination of bio and social. with respect to this point:
Is femininity about being drawn to pretty things, wearing pink and liking skirts? Is it about what you like... how you like to look? Is femininity related to your mannerisms? Is your level of femininity subconscious... or is it something that you can change? Are we "feminine" and "masculine" based on our personality traits?
I think you are focusing specifically on the socially defined aspects. Behaviors, likes, personalities can be genetically pre-dispositioned, and society will step in and label them one way or the other. That's actually where the conflict arrises for people who have a like that society says is against "the way they should be".
to an extent, you can change how masculine or feminine you are, just like you can change any behavior. You can become aware of the way you do certain things, and actively persue changing that. That's actually the line of thinking that sends people to straight camps. but it's also the line of thinking that helps people overcome phobias, OCD, eating disorders etc. The method isn't necisarily good or bad, but how it's used and whether or not it makes you happier once your done.
why would you want or need to have a more feminine personality? That doesn't make you more or less of a woman! Then she explained that it is to make your mannerisms more feminine, like the way you walk and stuff. I was talking to my girl about her boobs and i said she didn't need them to be a girl, and she said she knew that, but she did need them for society to treat her like a girl. So in that sense, it's a social thing again.
in the end though, after all that, I don't think what you suggest here is possible:
I feel like there should be a different word for these two concepts.. Like "social femininity" Vs "biological femininity"
because "femininity" by my account at least, is socially defined. it's the social grouping for behaviors/likes/etc.
I really hope that made some sort of sense... :)
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