Hola
It's 8:11 in the morning and class doesn't start until 9 . . . so why am I here? I could be just waking up and drinking coffee and all that great jazz. . . so why am I here? I'm not working on my project like I should be, I'm not doing my kitchen's HW like I should be, and I'm a little under the weather. . .so why am I here?
I'm here because I'm crazy. Somewhere deep within me I feel it is important for me to be at school far too early. I feel that if I'm at school less than half an hour early the world will end. So yes, I'm here because I'm crazy.
It's okay though. We all knew that I'm crazy. I've known since I learned the word. Other's know as soon as they meet me. It hangs over my head like a big flashy sign. So it's okay.
I have no idea why I'm writing like this today. It just happens to be how I want to write. I think it's the lack of sleep, but I may be wrong.
I didn't have to work last night, and it was nice to have time to work on my project. I also don't work tonight, which leaves me plenty of time to work on my other project. Let us just hope that John is in school today. He is my PIC for this project, as is Vince, and I refuse to do this by myself.
The time is now 8:20. I wish time would pass faster, I actually want to get to class. It has to be better than sitting in the library.
I need a life out here, I'm begining to die without one. I miss places like Neo where I could hang out all day with my friends. And I'm sick of having to go through a security gaurd just to visit the few friends I have out here. Pittsburgh is killing me ever so slowly and there is nothing I can do about it. My only hope is to move far away for my externship.
But I can't do that, can I? I would most certanly loose Qes, and I don't want that. But see, he doesn't believe in long distance relationships, and after Dave, neither can I. I don't know what to do.
I wish life was simple again. I want to be 5 and not have to worry about life, love, careers, school, and all the other things that cause a person to break down and cry. I was a happy 5 year old, and I wish it was possible to be a happy 18 year old. But that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Too much heartache and stress has crept into my life and I can never be the same.
My nose hurts.
I should learn to smile more. I hear that after enough fake smiling you actually become happy. I think that's BS, but at this point, I might try anything. But not that, at least not yet.
Oh please, don't get me wrong, I have happy MOMENTS but they don't string themselves together and become happy DAYS of maybe even WEEKS. It's like the displacement, everyday (assuming you fall asleep in the same bed everynight) total displacement = 0 and total amount of happyness = 0.
It's now 8:35, and I shall permit you to stop reading this mindless crap.
Another day's a new begining.
I'm here because I'm crazy. Somewhere deep within me I feel it is important for me to be at school far too early. I feel that if I'm at school less than half an hour early the world will end. So yes, I'm here because I'm crazy.
It's okay though. We all knew that I'm crazy. I've known since I learned the word. Other's know as soon as they meet me. It hangs over my head like a big flashy sign. So it's okay.
I have no idea why I'm writing like this today. It just happens to be how I want to write. I think it's the lack of sleep, but I may be wrong.
I didn't have to work last night, and it was nice to have time to work on my project. I also don't work tonight, which leaves me plenty of time to work on my other project. Let us just hope that John is in school today. He is my PIC for this project, as is Vince, and I refuse to do this by myself.
The time is now 8:20. I wish time would pass faster, I actually want to get to class. It has to be better than sitting in the library.
I need a life out here, I'm begining to die without one. I miss places like Neo where I could hang out all day with my friends. And I'm sick of having to go through a security gaurd just to visit the few friends I have out here. Pittsburgh is killing me ever so slowly and there is nothing I can do about it. My only hope is to move far away for my externship.
But I can't do that, can I? I would most certanly loose Qes, and I don't want that. But see, he doesn't believe in long distance relationships, and after Dave, neither can I. I don't know what to do.
I wish life was simple again. I want to be 5 and not have to worry about life, love, careers, school, and all the other things that cause a person to break down and cry. I was a happy 5 year old, and I wish it was possible to be a happy 18 year old. But that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Too much heartache and stress has crept into my life and I can never be the same.
My nose hurts.
I should learn to smile more. I hear that after enough fake smiling you actually become happy. I think that's BS, but at this point, I might try anything. But not that, at least not yet.
Oh please, don't get me wrong, I have happy MOMENTS but they don't string themselves together and become happy DAYS of maybe even WEEKS. It's like the displacement, everyday (assuming you fall asleep in the same bed everynight) total displacement = 0 and total amount of happyness = 0.
It's now 8:35, and I shall permit you to stop reading this mindless crap.
Another day's a new begining.