miniFic: MacStark
Title: MacStark
Fandom: The Avengers movieverse
Rating: K+ (?)
Warnings: passing mentions of violence in a humorous context, language (if you consider "what the hell" bad language)
Prompt: Full prompt here. "Tony is still dangerous outside of the suit. ... Basically, I just want a situation where Tony is out of the suit and the Avengers think he's useless and needs protection until Tony picks up a weapon and goes all commando on them and they're all impressed/surprised.
Bonus: Open-mouthed Steve ..."
Also took inspiration from one of the comments below it, "... Not to mention with his science knowledge and whatnot he'd probably be able to make some insanely effective IED's with like, bubblegum and ducktape or something."
Disclaimer: All characters and associated places/things/etc. within the Marvel universe belong to their respective owners, none of which are me. You know, I'm pretty sure I don't even own a can of whipped cream at the moment.
Author's Notes: One tiny drabble before I go sleep off what has been a very hectic and emotionally exhausting day.
The prompt made me lol, so I filled it (I am that complex). Reference to MacGyver is intentional as hell.
Proofread via Word, but quickwrite so no beta.
Comments loved forever and ever.
Don't attempt any of Stark's stunts at home, kids.
- - -
"What the hell?"
When the Avengers sans Iron Man stormed the abandoned food factory, they had expected a lot of things, but seeing Tony Stark surrounded by at least fifty unconscious members of the Russian mob and a bunch of aerosol cans, grinning like it was the fourth of July, was not one of them.
When no answer was forthcoming, Clint spoke again.
"Seriously, what the hell?"
Tony smirked as he kicked one of the burly mobsters, who gave a groan and rolled over. "Don't worry. I took care of it since you guys were taking forever to come rescue me."
"Friends, what is that delightful odor?"
The five of them took another sniff, and with a start Bruce put it all together.
"You knocked them out with the nitrous oxide in the whipped cream cans?"
"Well, yeah. It was only a matter of separating the gas from the cream and then using the bubble gum I was chewing to make the buttons stick as I threw them down into the crowd of angry Russian men." He looked at the blank look on their faces. "What? Don't tell me you've never done it before."
"Not with a canned food." Natasha hissed, looking vaguely irritated at Tony's nonchalance. She paused. "Well, not with one that came in an aerosol can."
Bruce picked up one of the makeshift weapons, examining it with interest. "Well, once when I was eight. But I used duct tape and I only threw it at this kid who kept stealing my lunch money."
Thor looked like he couldn't even comprehend using a dairy product in battle.
Poor Steve's mouth was open so wide Tony couldn't resist picking up an untampered can and spraying some whipped cream into his mouth. Steve made a muffled choking noise for a second, before he paused and swallowed, looking thoughtful.
"You know, this stuff's not half bad, for something that comes out of a spray can."
Clint rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of the recurring headache he affectionately dubbed Little Tony. "Let's just tie 'em up and get out of here." He walked towards the nearest mobster and began binding his hands. "I am not going to be the one debriefing Fury on this."
Fandom: The Avengers movieverse
Rating: K+ (?)
Warnings: passing mentions of violence in a humorous context, language (if you consider "what the hell" bad language)
Prompt: Full prompt here. "Tony is still dangerous outside of the suit. ... Basically, I just want a situation where Tony is out of the suit and the Avengers think he's useless and needs protection until Tony picks up a weapon and goes all commando on them and they're all impressed/surprised.
Bonus: Open-mouthed Steve ..."
Also took inspiration from one of the comments below it, "... Not to mention with his science knowledge and whatnot he'd probably be able to make some insanely effective IED's with like, bubblegum and ducktape or something."
Disclaimer: All characters and associated places/things/etc. within the Marvel universe belong to their respective owners, none of which are me. You know, I'm pretty sure I don't even own a can of whipped cream at the moment.
Author's Notes: One tiny drabble before I go sleep off what has been a very hectic and emotionally exhausting day.
The prompt made me lol, so I filled it (I am that complex). Reference to MacGyver is intentional as hell.
Proofread via Word, but quickwrite so no beta.
Comments loved forever and ever.
Don't attempt any of Stark's stunts at home, kids.
- - -
"What the hell?"
When the Avengers sans Iron Man stormed the abandoned food factory, they had expected a lot of things, but seeing Tony Stark surrounded by at least fifty unconscious members of the Russian mob and a bunch of aerosol cans, grinning like it was the fourth of July, was not one of them.
When no answer was forthcoming, Clint spoke again.
"Seriously, what the hell?"
Tony smirked as he kicked one of the burly mobsters, who gave a groan and rolled over. "Don't worry. I took care of it since you guys were taking forever to come rescue me."
"Friends, what is that delightful odor?"
The five of them took another sniff, and with a start Bruce put it all together.
"You knocked them out with the nitrous oxide in the whipped cream cans?"
"Well, yeah. It was only a matter of separating the gas from the cream and then using the bubble gum I was chewing to make the buttons stick as I threw them down into the crowd of angry Russian men." He looked at the blank look on their faces. "What? Don't tell me you've never done it before."
"Not with a canned food." Natasha hissed, looking vaguely irritated at Tony's nonchalance. She paused. "Well, not with one that came in an aerosol can."
Bruce picked up one of the makeshift weapons, examining it with interest. "Well, once when I was eight. But I used duct tape and I only threw it at this kid who kept stealing my lunch money."
Thor looked like he couldn't even comprehend using a dairy product in battle.
Poor Steve's mouth was open so wide Tony couldn't resist picking up an untampered can and spraying some whipped cream into his mouth. Steve made a muffled choking noise for a second, before he paused and swallowed, looking thoughtful.
"You know, this stuff's not half bad, for something that comes out of a spray can."
Clint rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of the recurring headache he affectionately dubbed Little Tony. "Let's just tie 'em up and get out of here." He walked towards the nearest mobster and began binding his hands. "I am not going to be the one debriefing Fury on this."