I finally had some time to write!
Title: There's none so blind as those who will not see
Rating: R or Mature (I always play on the safe side)
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl
Characters: Jazz, Prowl, Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Ironhide, others
Warnings: nothing too heavy this time round
Universe: G1
Summary: Jazz pursues Prowl
Wow, works been keeping me VERY busy! I was finally able to sit down and write some! I was happy to get chapter 5 done! :)
Kinda angsty in some parts and no P/J fluffiness this chapter *sadness*
Not beta edited, so sorry for what grammer mistakes lay in the text!
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Yet More Jazz/Prowl!
Ok, “Vorn” = about 1 year, “Stellarcycle” = about 6 months, “Decacycle” = about 1 week, “Cycle” = about 1 day, “Orn” = about an hour, “Breem” = about a minute
“click” = bout a mile
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Chapter 5
Prowl slowly onlined feeling languid and unfocused. He glanced idly at his surroundings. These were definitely not his quarters. Where was he? Looking beside him, he saw a few wires leading from him to monitors by the berth. Med Bay equipment. What was he doing in Med Bay? His first thought was battle injuries but he didn’t hurt and a quick glance at himself showed no damage. Prowl began to search his memory files for what could have landed him here.
He could hear voices outside his door, they were very faint and he couldn’t make out much of the conversation. He tried to focus a little more. One voice belonged to Ratchet, that made sense. The other was….Ironhide? What was he doing in the Med Bay?
Prowl leisurely continued to search through his memory files though why he was searching was starting to slip away from him. He remained listless, listening to the sound and tones of the voices outside his door, not really paying attention to the words….until one stood out; Jazz.
That brought some memory back. The two of them…in his office…doing things that were completely inappropriate. Prowl recalled Prime coming to his office, it had been locked, and Jazz had started in with some lewd innuendos then…..oh. Slag. He had glitched. Glitched enough to lock up his logic center and land him in the Med Bay. And he had been doing so well. Thankfully it had been in his office, away from prying optics.
Prowl wanted to frown at the fact he wasn’t getting upset or tense over what had happened but he just couldn’t work himself up to it. Whatever Ratchet had given him or had him on was one pit of a relaxant. In fact, he hadn’t felt this relaxed since he had woken up that one morning with Jazz straddling him. Prowl mentally groaned, why did he have to bring up that particular memory?
Jazz. Jazz knew he had a glitch now. How would he react to that? Jazz has been an officer in the Autobots for sometime now, a lot longer than Prowl, and a lot of officers didn’t like glitches to obtain any kind of superior rank. Did Jazz think like that? Maybe if he did he’d leave Prowl alone now. The thought should have appealed to Prowl, but it only left him fighting off a feeling of disappointment.
Primus, how did he get here? He thought he had his emotions under control, especially after the last time his emotions caused him to glitch and crash…hard. That glitch had been painful on so many levels. That was soo long ago, he had be in the midst of his Tactician apprenticeship with his mentor Breakdown. Breakdown was one of several Tacticians that served under Sentinel Prime. The Autobot army was larger and more centralized back then.
Prowl had foolishly allowed himself to become interested in a certain mech. Though the interest was foolish, Prowl was not stupid. He knew his glitch was usually triggered by emotions, strong emotions. Therefore, Prowl never approached him. He made do with subtle glances and lots of distance, this way Prowl could watch him and not become emotionally involved. Prowl interfered in the mechs life as little as possible and when he had to interact with the mech he never allowing any emotion to show through. Prowl was content to just admire him from a safe distance. Nothing too intimate or personal.
In fact the most personal Prowl ever got with the mech was having a conversation with him one night over a cube of high grade. It had been late and Prowl thought for sure no one would be in the rec area. He didn’t realize until he had a cube in hand that someone else was there. Upon seeing who it was, Prowl intended to make a hasty exit but was nearly too shocked to move when his secret interest beckoned him over, inviting the young apprentice to sit and keep company with him. And even though Prowl knew that two decacycles from then the mech wouldn’t even remember his name or ever know he had captured the interest of the young tactician, Prowl was still flattered to have been asked to join him and he relished the time they spent in enjoyable conversation.
In the end, none of it spared Prowl, not when the mech went to battle….and was killed. The medics on the battle field unable to restore life to his mangled frame, though they tried. Those careful plans, the safe distance he kept himself at, his perceived emotional detachment, all were ripped painfully away and Prowl felt himself choke on raw emotions. Emotions he didn’t believe he had the right to feel. He had been careful…so careful, kept distant, hadn’t even allowed himself to fantasize about the mech, it shouldn’t hurt this much, and yet, his spark wrenched painfully.
Prowl actually felt the loss, even though the mech hadn’t been his to lose. He desperately tired to look at it all logically. War was harsh and unforgiving, death was inevitable for many. War takes life, it does not give it. Prowl reminded himself over and over that he had had no relationship with the mech.…..so why did it still hurt? As hard as Prowl tried he could find no comfort or solace in logic and reason. There was no peace, his logic center warred with his emotions. His head hurt constantly, quickly leading to a major glitch and emergency shutdown that left him offline and prone on the control room floor with a very worried mentor frantically calling for medical assistance.
When Prowl came back online a lengthy two and a half decacycles later, he was met with a very unhappy medic. This medics unhappiness had nothing to do with Prowls overall health. He didn’t like that a glitch was climbing the ranks and he wasn’t shy about letting Prowl know exactly how he felt about it. And as Prowl left to seek the quiet comfort of his own quarters, the medic informed him he would be taking this matter to Sentinel Prime.
For three cycles after that, Prowl carried a sense of dread with him. At some point, Sentinel Prime was going to hear about his glitch from the medic and when he did Prowl would most likely be stripped of his apprenticeship, demoted, and given some menial job they usually give glitches to keep them busy, quiet, and out of the way. Prowl didn’t want that, he was good at what he did, he worked hard, it shouldn’t all be taken away from him because of a glitch.
Prowl was soon called to Sentinel Primes office. He was asked to sit outside in the waiting area, Prowl did as he was told. A few breems later the medic who had attended to him less than a decacycle ago stepped out and walked by Prowl but did not look at or acknowledge him. Prowl only hoped that was not a taste of things to come. Sentinel Prime called Prowl in.
He looked at Prowl and nodded to a vacant chair, “Have a seat, Prowl”.
Prowl sat, doorwings held at shoulder level, back straight and face carefully blank.
Sentinel looked over a file and from what Prowl could see, it was his file.
After a few moments, Sentinel addressed him, “You…are…..impressive.” Sentinel looked at Prowl, Prowl kept his face neutral, betraying nothing, remaining silent. Sentinel set back in his chair, placing the file down on the desk, “Tell me, Prowl, before this, when was the last time you glitched?”.
Prowl didn’t hesitate, “Eighty four vorn, one stellarcycle, six decacycles, sixteen cycles, 15 orns -”
Sentinel held a hand up to halt Prowl, a small grin on his face, “I do not need the time frame calculated down to the astrosecond, eighty four vorn will do.”
Prowl nodded, “Yes, Sir”.
“What causes the glitch?”
“My overdeveloped logic center coupled with my battle computer -”
“Forgive me, Prowl, what I mean is, what triggers your glitch?”
“My glitch can be triggered by sudden highly illogical situations and/or intense conflicting emotions.”
“Mmhmm.” Sentinel seemed to contemplate on Prowl for a moment, “Tell me Prowl, what caused this latest glitch?”
Prowl opened his mouth then hesitated. It was such a personal matter. Talking about it would bring everything back up to the surface and just when he had been successful at blocking those emotions.
“Prowl.” Prowl returned his gaze to Sentinel, not even aware his gaze had wondered, “Prowl, tell me what happened.”
Prowl opened his mouth again but couldn’t get the words out. He gave a slight shake of his head, optics looking anywhere but at Sentinel. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to feel those emotions again, they were still too raw, too overpowering.
“Prowl.” Prowl reluctantly brought his gaze up to Sentinel’s, “Tell me what happened.”
The tone said it all, it was not a question or a request, it was a command. Prowl sighed, a hand coming up to rub a part of his helm, his processor already starting to ache. He sagged back into the chair some and started from the beginning.
A little over an orn later, Prowl finally wrapped up his story. Of all the emotions he was feeling, gratitude was among the few positive ones. He was grateful Sentinel had listened as Prowl had stuttered and stumbled through it all. Prowl didn’t really feel all that much better, he still hurt. But no matter the outcome of this, Prowl would thank Sentinel for his kindness and patience. Not many were willing to listen to him and he wasn’t always willing to talk.
Sentinel studied Prowl for a few breems. Then leaned forward on his desk and looked Prowl in the optics, “I can see why such emotions would trigger your glitch. I know mechs who have no glitch that can’t handle their emotions half as well as you seem to. Emotions can be difficult. Prowl, I want you to know you can come talk to me about this, about work, work load, co-workers, whatever is bothering you. Whatever you tell me, stays between us, you understand?”
Prowl look at Sentinel almost incredulously, “I…yes. Yes, Sir”.
Sentinel have Prowl a small smile, “Alright. I believe I have kept you from your duties long enough.”
“I…” Prowl wasn’t sure what to make of this, “Sir?”
“Yes, Prowl?”
“I have a glitch. Aren’t you going to reassign me? From what I understand, glitches don’t climb rank.”
“You’ve a brilliant mind, Prowl. I’m not going to let a glitch stop you from reaching your potential. You’re a very important member of the Autobots, Prowl, you just don‘t know it yet. And no one needs to know. I think the matter of your glitch is something that should be kept between us.”
Prowl frowned, “You…expect me to lie?”
“No, I expect you to not bring it up to anyone but me.”
“But the medic-”
“Will tell no one. You’ve nothing to worry about, Prowl.”
Prowl looked at Sentinel, a touch confused and suspicious of the unexpected kindness, but decided to leave it alone for now, “Thank you, Sir”.
Prowls meetings with Sentinel became regular after that. Sentinel quickly became a mentor Prowl looked up to and after that a good friend he could confide in. Prowl found he could speak his mind to Sentinel about any subject; work, mathematics, literature, philosophy, music…….music… Jazz.
Prowl drew his thoughts back to the present. He wondered what Jazz was doing? No, he shouldn’t care. But he did. Prowl wanted to lift his arm so he rub his helm so he could soothe the ache, even though there was no ache at the moment, Prowl was sure once he was unhooked from whatever Ratchet had him on, the ache would come back. It was bound to as long as Jazz was around. As long as Jazz was around…..as long as…..Jazz was around…..hmmmmmmm…..
Raised voices from somewhere outside his door caught his attention again.
“Quiet down, Ironhide! Your going to jerk him out of recharge. What he needs now is rest.”
“What he NEEDS is fer Jazz ta leave ‘em the slag alone!”
“You don’t know that Jazz caused this”
“He was in tha room with Prowl when he glitched”
“You can’t blame Jazz for everything, Ironhide.”
“The Pit I can’t!”
“Besides, you don’t know the nature of their relationship-”
“They don’t HAVE a relationship! There is no relationship! There’s Jazz harassin’ Prowl, thats all!”
There was Ratchets exasperated sigh. Then a lapse into silence for a breem.
“Prime shoulda’ put a stop ta this a long time ago. Now look what’s happened.”
“Prowl wasn’t complaining, ‘Hide.”
“Course not! Prowl’s too polite a’ mech ta go complainin’ ta Prime.”
They lasped into silence again.
“Fraggin’ Jazz…”
“Ironhide, I swear…”
“Oh come on, Ratchet! Ya know Prowl’s nothin but a toy to ’em! A shiny novelty fer Jazz to amuse himself with. He doesn’t give a frag what Prowl thinks or feels, as long as Jazz gets what Jazz wants.”
“He’s not like that.”
“Please, Jazz is the biggest berth jumper on this base. Probably see’s Prowl as little more than a new conquest. Come on, Ratchet, you hear the same things I do. Jazz is a user. He uses a mech till he’s bored then moves on to another. He even berths his subordinates, Special Ops trainees from what I’ve heard. Not to mention Jazz’s little side affair with Mirage.”
“Mirage!?”
“I have ta cover fer Red every now n’ then. An’ I’ve seen Mirage sneakin’ outta Jazz’s quarters on more than one occasion. An’ I’m talkin’ within the past few decacycles.”
There was a stunned silence.
“Are you serious-” the reply was cut short by the sound of movement.
“How’s he doing , Ratchet?” There was no mistaking that voice, Prime.
“He’ll be fine, Optimus. I’m going to suggest a good 2 or 3 cycles away from any heavy or stressing work. Prowl just needs to take it easy.”
“Ironhide, I want you to make sure Prowl follows Ratchets directions. Don’t let Prowl overwork himself.”
“I’ll watch over ’em, Prime.”
“Excellent.”
“Well, come on, Optimus, ‘Hide, lets wake Prowl up and get him to his own quarters, he’ll recharge better there.”
The door to his room suddenly opened to reveal the three mechs. Prowl turned to look at them. Ratchet seemed slightly surprised to see him online already. Ratchet came up to him and checked the monitors, “How you feeling, Prowl?”
Prowl looked at Ratchet in a groggy manner before nodding some and slurring, “Mmm-good.”
Prime cast Ratchet a worried look. Ratchet shook his head back and spoke softly, “It’s the relaxant I have him on. It’ll wear off after a few orns and some more recharge.” Prime nodded and walked up to Prowl.
“I’m glad to see your ok, Prowl. Ratchets going to release you here in a bit and Ironhide’s going to help you back to your quarters, ok?” Prowl nodded.
Prime’s optics shown, one could almost tell he was smiling behind the mask, “Alright then, I’ll come by and check on you later. Get some rest.” Optimus patted Prowls shoulder then left Ratchet and Ironhide to their tasks.
Ironhide leaned against the wall while Ratchet ran a few scans to make sure Prowl was ok to leave the Med Bay and unhooked him from the relaxant.
“Ok, Prowl. Your free to go. Ironhide’s going to help you back to your quarters.” Ratchet then began packing away the equipment.
Prowl shook his head, “No, I’ll be fine. My quarters aren’t that far from here.” He swung his legs over the side of the berth getting ready to stand.
Ratchet looked startled, “Prowl, no! That relaxant was really strong-”
“I’ll be fine, Ratchet.” Prowl moved to stand, only when he put weight on his legs they buckled and he would have ended up a heap on the floor had Ironhide not dashed forward and caught him.
Ironhide looked down at Prowl, “You ok?”
Prowl nodded and then looked over at Ratchet, “What kind of relaxant did you use on me?”
“A really strong one. Now just do as I say and let Ironhide help you.”
“Alright.”
Ratchet looked over his shoulder at Prowl then shaking his head he turned and started putting tools and connector wires away in drawers mumbling to himself “Fraging know it all mechs.”
Ironhide just grinned and shook his head as he looped an arm around Prowls waist to steady him and helped him out of Med Bay. They walked down the hall slowly and once they rounded a corner Prowl asked the question that had been eating at him,
“Where’s Jazz?”
Ironhide gave him a small smile, “Don’t ya worry, Jazz is off doin’ mission trainin’ with his trainees. He won’t be back for another cycle or two. So you’ll be able ta git some rest without him botherin’ ya.”
“I see, thank you.”
They reached Prowl quarters and Ironhide helped him inside and to his berth. Prowl felt weak and exhausted. Ironhide stood back and frowned at him, “Ya know, Prowl, Jazz can be one pit of a slag headed jerk.” Prowl looked up at Ironhide in surprise. “He uses mechs for his own amusement, till he gits bored of ‘em anyway. An’ he’s got his optics set on you. I don’t want ta see ya git hurt, Prowl. So, I want ya ta know that if he ever harasses ya too much or if he steps too far outta line, you can gimme a call and I’ll straighten him out fer ya.”
Prowl nodded politely, “Thank you, Ironhide. I’ll remember that.”
Ironhide grinned at Prowl then headed toward the door, “Right. You git some rest, Prowl.”
Prowl watched as Ironhide left, shutting and locking Prowls door behind him. He leaned back onto his berth and settled himself down comfortably. Prowl stared at the ceiling. His mind was made up. He knew what he had to do.
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Jazz could probably count on his hands the number of times he felt anxious about coming back to base. He wanted to talk to Prowl…bad. He owed Prowl a huge apology for his behavior that day and for being the contributing factor to him glitching. He’d have to find some way to make it up to Prowl. As they neared the base Jazz began to go through the backlog of messages he had waiting. He scrolled through them, looking for one in particular. And there is was, a quick message from Ratchet. Apparently Prowl was fine, awake, and on light duty. Good, he wanted to talk to Prowl as soon as he got back to base.
However, upon returning from the mission training, Prime felt the need to go over debriefing procedures…in detail…..one trainee at a time! Jazz could barely hold still through the orns of debriefing. Being the leader of the whole unit, he had to sit through all of them. The entire process took up most the cycle, making it late evening by the time Prime dismissed Jazz. Jazz immediately headed for their office hoping Prowl might still be working.
When Jazz reached their office, he reached out cycling open the door and was surprised to come nearly face to face with Prowl who was holding a box. He gave Prowl a friendly smile, “Prowl! I’m glad ta see ya up and around again.”
At Prowls blank expression, Jazz sobered, “Prowl, I owe ya an apology. I didn’t mean to cause ya ta glitch. I -”
Prowl nodded, “Apology accepted.” Then Prowl held out the box he had been holding, indicating to Jazz to take it. Jazz took the box and looked inside at its contents. Inside were some data pads of his and a few other things Jazz had casually left around their office. Jazz looked back at Prowl. Prowl explained,
“I think it would be more beneficial for both of us if you returned to your own office.”
Jazz shook his head, “No. Prowl, please, I know your mad at me but-”
“I am not angry with you, Jazz.” The entire time Prowl spoke his face, voice, and optics lacked emotion, he seemed closed off, “It is not logical for two senior officers to be sharing a desk and an office when we do not lack space or supplies.”
Jazz saw Prowls hand reaching for the ‘close’ button on the doors keypad.
“Prowl, wait! I’m sorry! Please, just let me come in and talk to you,” Jazz made a move to step into the office only to have Prowl put his hand against the box he had given Jazz, halting his movement.
“Return to your office, Jazz.”
“Prowl-” but before Jazz could get another word out, Prowl has pushed the doors close button, sliding it shut in Jazz’s face. Stunned, Jazz continued to stare at the door, he even heard Prowl lock it.
Jazz took several steps back, optics still on the closed door, he stood there trying to figure out what had gone wrong. Its not like Prowl had never been mad at Jazz before, but an irritated or angry Prowl had never shut a door in his face. Consumed by his thoughts, Jazz didn’t hear anyone approach him.
“Its about time he wised up and kicked yer aft out of his office.” The voice, the tone, sliced through Jazz’s thoughts and he spun around to glare up at the weapons specialist, Ironhide simply glared back.
He sneered at Jazz, “Ya had it comin’.”
Optics narrowed behind the visor, “An’ I suppose you had nothing’ ta do with Prowls sudden “wising up”.”
Ironhide leaned toward Jazz, getting in his face, “I hope I had everything ta do with it.” Ironhide straightened and brushed pass Jazz to Prowls office door, pressing the call button.
“Yes?”
“Prowl, Ironhide here, mind if I come in?”
“Not at all.”
Jazz watched in near horror as the door cycled open and Prowl stepped back allowing Ironhide to enter.
Jazz tried again, “Prowl-”.
Prowl looked at him, his expression cold, blank, detached, “Return to your office, Jazz.” Then Prowl turned away, door cycling shut and locking.
Jazz couldn’t help but stare for a few more moments before turning and walking down the corridor, now clutching the box to him. After a few steps he stopped and looked back at Prowls door. He debated going back but decided against it. Prowl had to be mad. Maybe he needed more time to cool off. Jazz continued on to his office. Once inside, he locked the door and leaned against it. He took in his office. It looked the same as it always had but it didn’t feel right.
Jazz walked to his desk and carefully unloaded the contents of the box. He set the empty box on a spare chair before he walked around his desk and sat down. He’d had this office for vorns and yet now, it held no comfort or familiarity. It might as well have been a strangers office. He leaned his elbows on the desk, resting his head in his hands. Jazz looked at the objects he had removed from the box and set on his desk, he frowned, they looked better in Prowls office. Jazz heaved a sigh as he slid his hands over his helm and let his forehead come to rest on the desk. It felt emply in here.
He wanted Prowl.
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