30 Days and 30 Nights: Day 6
Cybertronian time references similar but not equal to our own: astrosecond ~ second, klick ~ minute, joor ~ hour, cycle ~ day, deca-cycle ~ week, orn ~ month, vorn ~ year
A/N: Special thanks to Taralynden for allowing me to borrow Prowl's special nickname she dubbed him with and for editing this particular ficlet. Thanks again!
Day 6: "What am I to you?"
Rumors. Gossip.
The Autobots loved their rumors. They loved to gossip. It gave them something to focus on other than their worries of a possible civil war starting. The newer and more surprising the subject, that faster the rumor spread around the base, the more they loved to gossip.
Most of the time Prowl ignored rumors and idle gossip. He dealt with facts and statistics. Besides, most of the time they never had anything to do with him. Yet, when the rumor about him and Jazz being an item started circulating it actually made him smile, on the inside. As illogical as it was, for him it made his relationship with Jazz that much more real, that he wasn't dreaming.
During the infancy of their relationship all they did was have discreet outings together. Jazz respected Prowl's desire for their outings to be private, namely unannounced so they could easily slip away unnoticed by his colleagues, as he was a private mech by nature. All too aware of Jazz's need for spontaneity and knowing he had to compromise, Prowl would surprise Jazz with a special outing to visit a festival in Praxus or a musical concert in Iacon.
When their relationship had progressed to the next level, Prowl knew he was falling head over heels in love with Jazz, despite the fact that Jazz was older than him and a higher ranked officer. And Prowl felt that love was reciprocated whenever they interfaced, by the way Jazz touched him, spoke affectionately to him, or generally made Prowl feel like he was special whenever they were alone together. They hadn't moved in together yet but often would wake from recharge in each other's arms either in Prowl's quarters or Jazz's. Which was what had started the rumors when Jazz was seen leaving Prowl's quarters far too early one morning - it was a well known fact that Jazz was not an early riser.
For several orns Prowl's life couldn't be any better. He was well on his way to becoming the top assistant to Jackpot, head of the military strategy department and the chief tactical officer to Prime, and was one step closer to his ultimate goal as CTO. Plus, he had the love of a mech he was devoted to and supported through good times and bad.
At least that's what he felt up until a few deca-cycles ago.
A few deca-cycles ago, Jazz had finally received the promotion he'd been working hard for - head of special operations.
And that's when Prowl's life seemed to begin to unravel.
At first, Prowl wasn't concerned because with this new job he knew Jazz had new responsibilities. In fact, he did his best to support Jazz as much as he could, even attempting to help organize Jazz's office so it didn't look as chaotic as his quarters. Jazz stoically refused Prowl's help, not wanting to burden Prowl with unnecessary work.
That was ok. Prowl understood each mech had their own responsibilities.
Things really seem to take a turn for the worst personally when Jazz started spending more and more time away from Prowl. They didn't meet as often for their daily rations in the morning any longer, if they did Jazz was always in a rush. Jazz even cancelled a couple of dates with Prowl.
But the first real blow hit when Jazz had forgotten about their romantic getaway they'd planned two orns before Jazz received his promotion and had ended up cancelling the trip because he wasn't going to be able to make it due to job related commitments. As usual, Jazz had given Prowl another apology and Prowl was beginning to doubt the sincerity of the apology from the mech he thought had loved him.
It was the following cycle after Jazz canceled the getaway when one particular rumor struck a chord with Prowl.
Prowl was already in a foul mood from the cycle before. This cycle ended up being particularly rough, one of the worst of Prowl's life. First thing in the morning, his superiors had piled on some extra work to his already extensive work load. He overhead Jackpot talking about promoting some other mech to the position Prowl had already been told would be his. To make matters worse, his small office had lost power and he had lost half of that morning's work.
Jackpot had been somewhat understanding and gave Prowl until the following cycle to complete the work. Still, it'd been late in the cycle, Prowl was exhausted and had been looking forward to spending even just a few quiet klicks with Jazz before he recharged. But before stopping by Jazz's quarters Prowl had stopped in the recreation room to get his ration of energon.
His silent tread had gone unnoticed. If the mechs talking there had noticed Prowl was even in the room, they would have been silent and what they'd said never would have landed upon Prowl's audio receptors. But he did hear it and fear flickered in his spark when he found that Jazz wasn't in his quarters.
Prowl was quick to dismiss it and chalked up his insecurity of the moment to fatigue. He knew Jazz was loyal and dedicated. Sure in the past Jazz had many partners, moving from one to the next. The mech liked variety, not the mundane. But Prowl refused to believe that Jazz was interfacing with another mech or that he'd even gotten bored with Prowl, despite the fact that they hadn't actually interfaced since Jazz received his promotion.
Yes, Prowl was aware many mechs and femmes found him boring, predictable because of his love for routine.
But not Jazz.
Or so Prowl thought.
After another deca-cycle passed, Prowl was starting to believe the rumors and gossip that Jazz was seeing another mech. Most rumors died quickly. Most subjects in gossip moved on. When one rumor kept circulating there had to be some semblance of truth to it, especially if it was all the gossip mongers kept talking about it and the fact that an actual name of the mech Jazz was seeing was now tied to the rumor.
And when Jazz didn't show up to have his morning ration of energon with Prowl again and a couple of mechs were giggling and whispering things about Prowl, it set Prowl off. In a rare display of emotion, the black and white mech stormed through the base, using the base's main computer system to locate Jazz. He was tired of the rumors, the laughs behind his back, and the spark ache of being rejected yet again.
Prowl reined in his emotions as best as he could before he knocked on Jazz's office door. It was clear by the way his doorwings were trembling that he was having difficulty. Even after Jazz called for Prowl to come in, the mech was having difficulty keeping the emotions from showing on his face. They were clear to see judging by Jazz's startled expression.
"Prowl! Primus, I'm so sorry," Jazz exclaimed, rising up. "I meant to tell ya I…"
"No more apologies!" Prowl snapped, slamming the door shut. "I'm tired of hearing them!"
Stunned, Jazz sat back down.
"What am I to you? Am I just another conquest? A convenient frag until a better mech comes along?"
"What…No!" Jazz stammered, clearly confused about why Prowl was so upset. "I love ya."
"Do you really, Jazz? Do you?" Prowl growled. "I don't know what to believe anymore. I can only take what facts I know and draw my own conclusions. There's a rumor going around that you're fragging another mech…another Praxian behind my back."
"What? That's ridiculous!"
"Is it? All evidence suggests the rumor has some value. I even know his fragging name…Smokescreen! Plus, you're late. You've cancelled or turned down numerous dates, including our anniversary getaway we'd planned together! We haven't even interfaced in ten deca-cycles. And when we have a chance for an intimate moment, you fall into recharge!"
Prowl dropped into a chair on the far side of the room, exhausted, his voice full of the emotions rippling through his spark. He struggled to keep his tears at bay because he felt so hurt and betrayed.
"I can't take this anymore. If I mean so little to you then you should have just told me it was over instead of stringing me along! So, I'm asking you again…what am I to you?"
While listening and seeing how upset his lover was, Jazz realized he had made a mistake. Prowl was the one mech Jazz knew he could always rely on to be there, to be understanding. And Jazz took the reliable mech for granted. In Jazz's mind he knew he'd been fragging up and he had promised himself that he would make it all up to Prowl, especially their anniversary getaway. He never forgot how hurt Prowl looked when he had to break that date. In fact Jazz had made special plans to make up for the past several deca-cycles. However, Jazz neglected to let Prowl know his intentions and promises and that was his mistake.
Without any hesitation, Jazz rushed to his lover's side and cradled the handsome face he adored so much in his hands. To further dissuade Prowl's fears, he retracted his visor so the mech could see the sincerity and love in Jazz's optics.
"Ya 're the mech I love more than life itself," Jazz smiled warmly, one thumb caressing Prowl's cheek. "Without ya, I'm incomplete. An' I'm so sorry 'bout the past several deca-cycles. I'm scramblin' to keep up. I honestly had no idea that there'd be so much data work. I hate seein' those fraggin' datapads. Then I felt like I was gettin' pulled in all kinds o' directions workin' or trainin' the new recruits an' my superiors demandin' I do things a certain way an' me arguin' that I had to do things my way. But I didn't want to frag up. I really love this job. Only I made the mistake of sacrificin' too much of my personal life which meant ya gettin' the raw end o' the deal. For that, I am so sorry, Prowl."
"Why didn't you ask me for help or say something to me?" Prowl quietly asked, bowing his head feeling so ashamed now for getting mad at Jazz. "I love you. I would have done anything to help. I would have listened, I…I wouldn't have gotten angry."
"I know," Jazz sighed, lifting Prowl's chin up. "That's exactly why I couldn't ask ya for help. It's my job, not yars. I couldn't burden ya wit' my work. An' as for not sayin' anything….well, I was bein' stubborn in not askin' ya for help. It's a mech pride thing. And also, I took ya for granted."
Prowl made a confused look that made Jazz chuckle.
"Ya're the very definition o' reliable, love. I knew I could depend on ya ta be there for me no matta what. An' my mistake was not lettin' ya in on what was goin' on in my processor, that for each time I had to turn ya down, I took it personally, that my spark ached, an' that I promised to make it all up to ya, Sparkles."
"Sparkles?" Prowl asked, blinking his optics in surprise.
"Yeah, my new nickname for ya because ya're the light in my life," Jazz grinned, kissing Prowl's cheek.
"That's so corny, Jazz," Prowl said but bowed his head bashfully, even blushed slightly from embarrassment. "But I like it."
"Ya do?"
Prowl nodded.
"Ya like it better than Prowler?"
"Definitely."
"Prowlie?"
"Ack!" Prowl winced. "Don't call me that ever. Reminds me of my Great Aunt Windrunner. She used to always call me that and pinch my cheeks when I was a youngling. Father used to call her Windbag because she could talk up a storm."
"Now I know where yar li'l brotha, Blue gets it from," Jazz chuckled. Then he sighed, turning serious again while caressing Prowl's cheek. "Sparkles, ya have no idea the affect ya have on me."
"I think I can figure it out," Prowl said, giving Jazz a big smile.
Again Jazz sighed, looking dreamily into Prowl's beautiful baby blue optics.
"I love how ya reserve yar smile for me only. Yar optics sparkle when ya give me that smile," Jazz breathed, placing a chaste kiss on Prowl's chevron while at the same time pulling his gift for Prowl from a subspace pocket. "And I know yar face is goin' to light up when ya see this."
Prowl gasped, gazing upon the small crystal sculpture Jazz presented to him.
"It's Praxian!" Prowl exclaimed, one tentative finger caressing the delicate crystal curves.
"O' course, the artist was too," Jazz smiled, then some what shyly continued. "Do…do ya recognize the meanin' o' the piece?"
"Certainly, even Praxian younglings are taught the symbols and meanings of…oh."
Jazz laughed softly, placing the gift in Prowl's hands.
"I realized I skipped a few o' the Praxian courtin' rituals. But I felt I needed to get this one righ'," he said, cradling Prowl's hands in his own.
Prowl was speechless. It never occurred to him that Jazz even knew about Praxian courting rituals or any of their symbols. Most outsiders didn't know unless they were being courted by a Praxian. Although this sculpture's representation was not that of a promise to bond it still spoke volumes of how much he obviously meant to Jazz.
He berated himself for even doubting Jazz's love for him.
"Will ya accept this gesture o' my devotion ta ya an' only ya?"
"I do," Prowl nodded, without hesitation.
"Good, now stop beatin' yarself up. It was my fault an' I have every intention o' makin' it up to ya," Jazz purred, revving his engine as he leaned closer.
"Right…now?" Prowl mumbled as they kissed.
"I have lots o' apologizing' ta do," Jazz smiled, pulling away, fingers still affectionately caressing Prowl's face. "Which I'm goin' to have lots o' time ta do wit' ya once ya get yar promotion because we'll be workin' together!"
"I'm not getting it," Prowl sighed, saddened that he had to disappoint Jazz. "I accidentally overhead Jackpot. They're giving the job I was vying for to Trailbreaker."
"That's because yar gettin' yar dream job."
"What?"
"In two cycles they're gonna make the official 'nouncement," Jazz grinned excitedly. "Jackpot is being promoted to Base Commander. He's taking over the Autobot Base in Kaon. An' ya're gonna be his replacement!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yup, I was there at the meetin' with Prime last night when Jacks said ya were the only mech qualified ta be his replacement an' that Prime wouldn't be disappointed in ya. They were gonna call ya in to the meetin' to tell ya but I begged 'em ta let me 'coz I wanted ta see that surprised look on handsome yar face."
"I'm beyond surprised! Primus, I don't know what to say!"
"Ya can talk to Jacks later. Ya preoccupied wit' me for at least two joors," Jazz purred, nuzzling Prowl's neck. He nibbled softly on an exposed neck cable making Prowl moan softly. "Oh, an' for the record, I had one meetin' wit' Smokescreen and it was in his quarters. I wanted to make things up to ya, but in a special way. So I asked Smokey 'bout Praxian customs, the ones they don't teach in school."
"I feel like such an idiot," Prowl meekly responded, optics locked on the beautiful figurine.
"Nah, ya had every right to be angry wit' me. Ya have a passion 'bout ya Sparkles and ya're damn sexy when ya let it out."
"Only for you, Jazz, only for you," Prowl smirked, before losing himself completely to Jazz's love.
The End.
A/N: If you didn't guess, Sparkles was the nickname I borrowed. I find it to be an adorable name for Prowl and I love it when Jazz calls him that. Thanks again for letting me play with it Tara!