(no subject)
I feel like I don't understand human nature, because I can't find it in myself to be cruel or vindictive.
I recently lost an important friendship, & my former friend is doing her best to try & make me feel shitty about myself, & lying about me behind my back, & generally behaving in a very immature way.
I don't understand. I'm sad that we're not friends. I'm hurt that she lied to me for so long, and that she's not only self-destructive but also attempts to bring other people down with her. I feel bad for her, because that's a sad way to live.
I just don't understand. If someone is your best friend, that friendship is supposed to be something of value, something you would fight for. I would take a bullet for my best friend. But when I confronted her, she lied more and now I guess she's happier without me in her life.
It hurts a lot more to be in my position, to be the lonely one who's hurt as opposed to the fucked up, broken one who has found false comfort in drugs & people who don't care about her.
I'd rather be me, I'd rather be wounded and sad than cold and incapable of feeling real pain.
I'm sad about losing her, but I'm even more sad because I didn't lose her to something real. I lost her to the false comfort of cocaine addiction. I lost her because it's easier for her to lie than to admit the painful truth about herself.
I'm not afraid of pain; I'm lucky that way. I can feel it and I can accept it and I can understand it.
I feel sorry for you, friend. I'm really sorry you made this decision, and I'm even more sorry that you've chosen to try & make me feel displaced & unwanted around here. You got your wish, I definitely do want to get away from here, but not for the reasons you want: I want to get out of here because this place is diseased, everyone has too much money and too much distance from the real world.
I recently lost an important friendship, & my former friend is doing her best to try & make me feel shitty about myself, & lying about me behind my back, & generally behaving in a very immature way.
I don't understand. I'm sad that we're not friends. I'm hurt that she lied to me for so long, and that she's not only self-destructive but also attempts to bring other people down with her. I feel bad for her, because that's a sad way to live.
I just don't understand. If someone is your best friend, that friendship is supposed to be something of value, something you would fight for. I would take a bullet for my best friend. But when I confronted her, she lied more and now I guess she's happier without me in her life.
It hurts a lot more to be in my position, to be the lonely one who's hurt as opposed to the fucked up, broken one who has found false comfort in drugs & people who don't care about her.
I'd rather be me, I'd rather be wounded and sad than cold and incapable of feeling real pain.
I'm sad about losing her, but I'm even more sad because I didn't lose her to something real. I lost her to the false comfort of cocaine addiction. I lost her because it's easier for her to lie than to admit the painful truth about herself.
I'm not afraid of pain; I'm lucky that way. I can feel it and I can accept it and I can understand it.
I feel sorry for you, friend. I'm really sorry you made this decision, and I'm even more sorry that you've chosen to try & make me feel displaced & unwanted around here. You got your wish, I definitely do want to get away from here, but not for the reasons you want: I want to get out of here because this place is diseased, everyone has too much money and too much distance from the real world.