you can't always get what you want
It's 3 in the morning and I can't sleep, what's new? It's been 2 weeks since i actually updated and school is in full swing. Lots of football, lots of homework i'm behind on, lots of busyness blah! There is however a conspicuous absence of lots of other things. What can you do? I'm going to Chicago Tuesday for some college thing and I think i get to meet with the like head of admissions for Boston U- it's pretty rad. We won tonight- 2-0 that's cool too. Sometimes though no matter how much cool stuff is happening you feel like something is missing, yea Ill stop on that one. For the last couple weeks I've really wanted it to be Christmas. I was listening to Christmas songs on Xsao. You remember when you were little how like every holiday was the raddest thing in the world? Well now like none of them mean anything except Christmas. Like what the heck happened to Halloween, i used to look forward to Halloween starting November 1rst, now I dont even do anything. The coolest thing about holidays and just back then in general is nothing bad mattered. Sure things could suck but like for a day your mind just doesn't comprehend any of that. It's kind of like what I'd imagine drugs being without addiction and all that bad stuff. If none of this makes sense sorry its definitely 3:30 by now but my mind won't shut off. After the game tonight I hung out with Ashtin for the first time in forever, it was cool to catch up. It's preety cool to have like no girls who are anything more than friends but actually when you think about it is because some people don't even think it is possible to have good friends who are girls so I guess it is cool. Does that even make sense? In 65 more days football will be over, then i will starting counting the days till Xmas and then till summer. I am counting my whole life away and its not very good, i need to enjoy the present or whatever those cheesey motivational pictures they have in arnis that have like one word with like a picture of a sailboat and then a sentence underneath say. So i'm still not seeing like any of my friends in school and don't get to hang out much because of football. Like maybe it's emo to moan about not having any girl prospects but when my friendships with the crew start dying out too im begininning to not feel so good! Blahh this is all just whining, i will wake up after a good night's rest tomorrow and laugh that i wrote this- in the meantime Im going to go think untill my self pity runs out and i fall asleep because Ruiz is bitching about the light from the computer screen ; stay safe amigos.