Hmmblah.
I am feeling very overallencompassing blah today. I'm super blah about my job. I'm blah about my future. I'm blah about my social life. I'm blah about my evening. And I was definitely blah about getting out of bed this morning.
I'm looking forward to rowing starting up again and am dreading it at the same time. Last year it was the one really fulfilling thing I did. But I'm worried about how tired it will make me and how time consuming it is and I'm worried about keeping my head up through all of it for another season. I feel so tired right now and I'm sleeping enough and have so much more free time (though it's never, ever enough) and so it's hard to grasp adding that huge commitment to the mix. But at the same time, my work schedule will ease a bit and I'll go to sleep earlier. I know it will be okay, but it worries me all the same.
I haven't registered for any fall classes, and kind of just want to forget about it all for awhile. It's too overwhelming to think about, and while I think I want to have the transition and know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just not that engaged with anything...with the whole process. And I don't know how to connect to it better. I should probably meet with my adviser and figure out a plan. That would probably be a smart move. Maybe I can student teach in the summer at a year-round school. I don't know.
I had an odd weekend. I need to learn how to spend a whole day with someone. Or to plan enough activities to encompass a day. I didn't realize how I was so set in my routine and also that most of the activities I do are quiet "alone" types of activities.
I just keep hoping to figure everything out. To simplify life. To have a peaceful existence, full of quiet evenings and slow weekends. But then when those come around, I get lonely or frustrated or bored. I need some homeostasis. I just don't know how to find it. Blahblahblahblahblahhh.
I'm looking forward to rowing starting up again and am dreading it at the same time. Last year it was the one really fulfilling thing I did. But I'm worried about how tired it will make me and how time consuming it is and I'm worried about keeping my head up through all of it for another season. I feel so tired right now and I'm sleeping enough and have so much more free time (though it's never, ever enough) and so it's hard to grasp adding that huge commitment to the mix. But at the same time, my work schedule will ease a bit and I'll go to sleep earlier. I know it will be okay, but it worries me all the same.
I haven't registered for any fall classes, and kind of just want to forget about it all for awhile. It's too overwhelming to think about, and while I think I want to have the transition and know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just not that engaged with anything...with the whole process. And I don't know how to connect to it better. I should probably meet with my adviser and figure out a plan. That would probably be a smart move. Maybe I can student teach in the summer at a year-round school. I don't know.
I had an odd weekend. I need to learn how to spend a whole day with someone. Or to plan enough activities to encompass a day. I didn't realize how I was so set in my routine and also that most of the activities I do are quiet "alone" types of activities.
I just keep hoping to figure everything out. To simplify life. To have a peaceful existence, full of quiet evenings and slow weekends. But then when those come around, I get lonely or frustrated or bored. I need some homeostasis. I just don't know how to find it. Blahblahblahblahblahhh.