And if my lungs still let me breathe; will you be there for me?
*sigh* I'm so sick of everything. I really and truly am. It's been way too long that I've gone without stuff, and those of you who know me probably know what I'm talking about. It's just that I see people and I get so jealous. I really don't think it's normal. Like...I get jealous about EVERYTHING. And I just don't get why. Am I really that insecure? I hope not.
She's really pissing me off. Maybe I'm being a little bit selfish here. I guess I am. Yeah, I'm definately being way too selfish. Who in their right mind would invite seven people over to their house on their birthday to hang out? I guess I was going insane when I thought I might do that. I think that for Christmas, I'm going to get her a few books that contain advice on how to be decent to your kids. Everytime she talks to me, she says it in a really horrible way. Like when I asked her about inviting a few people over to watch movies, she was like "Seven people?! We're probably going to have to go somewhere now, and that's going to cost me a ton of money. Why do you have to have all those people? I have to go shopping for myself, I can't be throwing all this money away on a party." So I just said "Nevermind, I just won't have a party. Don't worry about it." And then she started screaming at me because I always ruin everything and it just hurts. And like the other day when she saw my Spanish grade, she said something like "Why the fuck do you have a 73?" I mean, honestly, is it that hard to take your child's feelings into consideration before you say something to them? I don't know. So, I started crying because I wasn't trying to put her down or ruin anything. And I just hate how she yells at me when I'm crying. It just makes everything ten times worse. And then she wonders why I'm always pissed off at her. *sigh*
Right now I would really just like to have someone tell me it will be okay. And just hold me and comfort me and love me. I am selfish, aren't I?
She's really pissing me off. Maybe I'm being a little bit selfish here. I guess I am. Yeah, I'm definately being way too selfish. Who in their right mind would invite seven people over to their house on their birthday to hang out? I guess I was going insane when I thought I might do that. I think that for Christmas, I'm going to get her a few books that contain advice on how to be decent to your kids. Everytime she talks to me, she says it in a really horrible way. Like when I asked her about inviting a few people over to watch movies, she was like "Seven people?! We're probably going to have to go somewhere now, and that's going to cost me a ton of money. Why do you have to have all those people? I have to go shopping for myself, I can't be throwing all this money away on a party." So I just said "Nevermind, I just won't have a party. Don't worry about it." And then she started screaming at me because I always ruin everything and it just hurts. And like the other day when she saw my Spanish grade, she said something like "Why the fuck do you have a 73?" I mean, honestly, is it that hard to take your child's feelings into consideration before you say something to them? I don't know. So, I started crying because I wasn't trying to put her down or ruin anything. And I just hate how she yells at me when I'm crying. It just makes everything ten times worse. And then she wonders why I'm always pissed off at her. *sigh*
Right now I would really just like to have someone tell me it will be okay. And just hold me and comfort me and love me. I am selfish, aren't I?