For the three of you that know me well (and countless, lurking ex-boyfriends,) you may want to sit down. This may come as a shock, especially to those who have asked me this outright
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I think of the opening line of Anna Karenina, "Happy families are all alike, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
I think that applies to people, too. I can't speak for you, so I'm just sharing general thoughts. I think that people can find any multitude of reasons to be unhappy. They're stressed out. They're allergic to cats. They're bitter about a divorce. They don't have the things they want. They don't have the jobs they want. They don't have the courage they want.
They have pimples. They have shingles. They have pneumonia or AIDS or bird flu.
They have kids. They don't have kids. Their kids have disappointed them. Jimmy Carter's mother said that sometimes, when she thinks of her kids, she wishes she had remained a virgin.
Yes, I can think of all kinds of reasons why people say they are unhappy, and I think that when people say they're pursuing happiness, they're really trying to eliminate unhappiness. But I think that happiness is a little more elusive than that. When a normally unhappy person eliminates her reasons for unhappiness, it doesn't result in happiness, because she finds a new bunch of reasons for unhappiness.
I consider myself generally happy, although I am subject to spells of melancholy. At times I have experienced considerable unhappiness, and I have worked hard to eliminate it, and now I'm generally happy again. But I'm in no position to tell someone else how to be happy. I can't claim to have such a grasp on it.
I'm a dreamer. I'm happiest when I'm pursuing a goal, and I get bored when things get too settled. But I think that if I try to pursue happiness itself, I'll never catch it. But if I pursue something else, then I'll be happy.
But this is just me. Every unhappy person is unhappy in their own way.
I think that applies to people, too. I can't speak for you, so I'm just sharing general thoughts. I think that people can find any multitude of reasons to be unhappy. They're stressed out. They're allergic to cats. They're bitter about a divorce. They don't have the things they want. They don't have the jobs they want. They don't have the courage they want.
They're ugly. They're fat. They're Republicans. They're old.
They have pimples. They have shingles. They have pneumonia or AIDS or bird flu.
They have kids. They don't have kids. Their kids have disappointed them. Jimmy Carter's mother said that sometimes, when she thinks of her kids, she wishes she had remained a virgin.
Yes, I can think of all kinds of reasons why people say they are unhappy, and I think that when people say they're pursuing happiness, they're really trying to eliminate unhappiness. But I think that happiness is a little more elusive than that. When a normally unhappy person eliminates her reasons for unhappiness, it doesn't result in happiness, because she finds a new bunch of reasons for unhappiness.
I consider myself generally happy, although I am subject to spells of melancholy. At times I have experienced considerable unhappiness, and I have worked hard to eliminate it, and now I'm generally happy again. But I'm in no position to tell someone else how to be happy. I can't claim to have such a grasp on it.
I'm a dreamer. I'm happiest when I'm pursuing a goal, and I get bored when things get too settled. But I think that if I try to pursue happiness itself, I'll never catch it. But if I pursue something else, then I'll be happy.
But this is just me. Every unhappy person is unhappy in their own way.
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