(no subject)
From a comment on a post on reddit.com:
"Yes, shy people are motivated by their fear of humiliation. But I think coolhandlucas is trying to point out that beneath the surface of this humiliation lies a certain amount of self-absorption. The feeling of humiliation is connected to the belief that other people give a shit about your public speaking or ability to converse to strangers. People who are shy, paradoxically, are actually kind of narcissistic. They think way too much about themselves and their own image, and not really enough about how they can be a force of good for others. Since they spend so much time thinking about and judging themselves, it's hard to imagine that other people are not doing the same. But in reality, people are too busy worrying about how they themselves are being perceived and getting through their own lives to think about the shy person for more than a second or two. If the shy person can recognize that they are not as important to others as they think they are, and switch gears in their mind to focusing more on other people rather than themselves, it can be very liberating in alleviating some of that shyness."
Substitute "insecure" for every instance of "shy", and this pretty much sums me up.
"Since they spend so much time thinking about and judging themselves, it's hard to imagine that other people are not doing the same."
I had never thought it of that way.
Anyway, somewhat unrelated, I have decided that I am going to actively be more tolerant of other people and their lifestyles, even if they are not similar to mine. I am going to make friends with, like, and ACCEPT other people and all of their differences. Last night, I hung out with two different groups of people whose hobbies, values, taste in music, etc. were, as a whole, very different from mine. And you know what? I had a fucking blast.
So, time to evolve, in a few ways.
"Yes, shy people are motivated by their fear of humiliation. But I think coolhandlucas is trying to point out that beneath the surface of this humiliation lies a certain amount of self-absorption. The feeling of humiliation is connected to the belief that other people give a shit about your public speaking or ability to converse to strangers. People who are shy, paradoxically, are actually kind of narcissistic. They think way too much about themselves and their own image, and not really enough about how they can be a force of good for others. Since they spend so much time thinking about and judging themselves, it's hard to imagine that other people are not doing the same. But in reality, people are too busy worrying about how they themselves are being perceived and getting through their own lives to think about the shy person for more than a second or two. If the shy person can recognize that they are not as important to others as they think they are, and switch gears in their mind to focusing more on other people rather than themselves, it can be very liberating in alleviating some of that shyness."
Substitute "insecure" for every instance of "shy", and this pretty much sums me up.
"Since they spend so much time thinking about and judging themselves, it's hard to imagine that other people are not doing the same."
I had never thought it of that way.
Anyway, somewhat unrelated, I have decided that I am going to actively be more tolerant of other people and their lifestyles, even if they are not similar to mine. I am going to make friends with, like, and ACCEPT other people and all of their differences. Last night, I hung out with two different groups of people whose hobbies, values, taste in music, etc. were, as a whole, very different from mine. And you know what? I had a fucking blast.
So, time to evolve, in a few ways.