Star Trek Prompts

[proudcockatrice]

So, I figure I should archive my terrible ideas in one place... These are the prompts that I have come up with, and only two of them appear in this form on the kinkmeme, at this time:

• James T. Kirk, airship pirate captain. The more steampunk, the better.
  
  
• Conversation goes:
  Anon: (Captcha knows exactly where it is, obviously. "Kirking The-man" = Kirk's megasperm impregnating males, Y/Y?)
  
  leaper182: I read your Captcha comment, and I first read it as "Kirk's megasperm impregnating whales".
  
  proudcockatrice: And, because no one has made the ST IV joke yet... "They are not the hell your whales."
  
  Now, I need to see some nu!Kirk getting it on with someone else's whales, much to the dismay of both nu!Spock and Spock!Prime.
•  drunken-sentimental!Spock
  If someone wants to write me some drunken-sentimental!Spock, I will love you forever. Bonus points for drunk on chocolate. Extra bonus points if it's both angsty and fucking hilarious. Super extra bonus points if you can make it into hand!porn.
  
  
• Retelling Amok Time as a version of Tam Lin. If you are aware of both of these things, you know what I'm talking about. Kirk fights the kal-if-fee with Spock, to keep the Vulcans from taking him irretrievably underhill, or whatever the equivalent should be, here...
  (The kinkmeme version of this prompt, being all nu!verse and shit, asks for Uhura as the fairie queen, but that doesn't play nearly as well.)
  
  
• Spock/Romulan Negotiator: Diplomacy Smex
  So, for whatever reason, Spock (or Spock!Prime, I'm not picky) is negotiating with the Romulans. Cue logic-driven sexytiems with the Romulan negotiator -- treaties have been started and signed with less provocation, after all.
  
  Bonus points for:
  - Romulan negotiator is SWISHY and potentially also sadistic
  - Romulan negotiator is actually just trying to push Spock's buttons, but gets the ride of his life
  - Kirk gets video of the event and takes the time to congratulate Spock on his conquest
  - Treaty actually gets signed so they have an excuse to do this sort of thing more often.
  
  ((And to clarify this, the prompt was not spawned by my OC, Starek. Starek is a result of this prompt. IT ATE MY BRAIN.
  
  
• Old Fashioned Girl: I have this image of Uhura that I admit stems largely from TOS rather than the new movie, but I see her being very much into old jazz and the like. I want to see Spock totally confused by her taste in music, when he stops to listen to the words -- and if you can do this with Eartha Kitt's 'Old Fashioned Girl', I will die a happy man, in the radioactive glow of your awesomeness.