thoughts in my head
where to begin... ok so i am pretty sure that most of you read my xanga and livejournal entries a while ago. What happened was that i was commenting on annie's site and by the time i was done i realized that i had basically summed up my life in one long comment. I really had a revalation in my life this week. I finished a chapter in my life and started a new one. I realized that i had gotten so preoccupied with me and my relationship with sean that i had put my relationship with God on the back burner. I have always thanked god for that relationship but never really sat and thought about why God let it be possible. Then i realized that my life at school was fading and the prayer that i was supposed to be keeping up was dwindleing. So this week i decided that that wasnt going to happen anymore. I ran so hard into the bible that last Wednesday something inside of me was awakened again.
A part of me that i have never known that i had thirsted so much for God. I just had to sit back and take it all in. It was crazy. It was so good though. I have really been hanging out in Luke for about a week now and God has shown me some amazing things. I know that i am a revolutionary because if i wasnt i wouldnt have this passion for that lost people at my school. The only part i have to get past is myself and no caring about other peoples thoughts about me. I have worked so hard this year. and i have seen so many changes in my schools attitude because of the 24 hour prayer circle that i started. It is amazing. Everyday i walk down that halls and wonder what else God wants me to do today and if i will really do it. But at this point i know that this is where god wants me to be so i am there. Its just hard sometimes. why is it that when life as a christian gets harder and our target grows bigger that we fade and diminsh and blend in with the crowd? why is it so hard for everyday christians who are called to be revolutionary to be just that?
This is the first time that i have honestly realized this and asked myself this question. Its not fear of what will happen.. for me its the fear of failing God and not doing it the way he intended. Why cant we live the way God sees us and believe in God's power to move through us?
Keep living with the passion that God gave you. And use this year to really grow. It will help ... I know it will because last year was the biggest year for me in a while. I grew so much. God revealed to me things i didnt even know i had inside of me. It was amazing. I am seeing that growth in our ministry and it is so cool to watch. God is getting ready to do amazing things with us and i can see them happening. all of you are always in my prayers. Thank you so much for the encouragment!
In christ,
Cattie
A part of me that i have never known that i had thirsted so much for God. I just had to sit back and take it all in. It was crazy. It was so good though. I have really been hanging out in Luke for about a week now and God has shown me some amazing things. I know that i am a revolutionary because if i wasnt i wouldnt have this passion for that lost people at my school. The only part i have to get past is myself and no caring about other peoples thoughts about me. I have worked so hard this year. and i have seen so many changes in my schools attitude because of the 24 hour prayer circle that i started. It is amazing. Everyday i walk down that halls and wonder what else God wants me to do today and if i will really do it. But at this point i know that this is where god wants me to be so i am there. Its just hard sometimes. why is it that when life as a christian gets harder and our target grows bigger that we fade and diminsh and blend in with the crowd? why is it so hard for everyday christians who are called to be revolutionary to be just that?
This is the first time that i have honestly realized this and asked myself this question. Its not fear of what will happen.. for me its the fear of failing God and not doing it the way he intended. Why cant we live the way God sees us and believe in God's power to move through us?
Keep living with the passion that God gave you. And use this year to really grow. It will help ... I know it will because last year was the biggest year for me in a while. I grew so much. God revealed to me things i didnt even know i had inside of me. It was amazing. I am seeing that growth in our ministry and it is so cool to watch. God is getting ready to do amazing things with us and i can see them happening. all of you are always in my prayers. Thank you so much for the encouragment!
In christ,
Cattie