17 Purple Files

[proudambassador]

Londo of House Mollari. That is who I am. I do not know if it is a thing to be celebrated, finding this out. The knowledge that came with it, it is heavy. What does one think, and do, when they are not sure they wish to know more about who they are, but cannot abide being utterly ignorant

Comments

[wayofflowers]

To know a thing is to know we can change, too, Londo-san.

[proudambassador]

The young, perhaps. I am old, and this is the past that I have seen. What is to say I did change?

[wayofflowers]

Perhaps not there - but there is here, too.

[proudambassador]

Yes. And here I make journals. It is not a very important thing. But perhaps I am different. I do not know. I do not know how to change.

[wayofflowers]

You change by seeing things in yourself that you don't want to be part of you, and working opposite to them.

[proudambassador]

I think, my good Bellflower, that it is very likely I am simply too old. Sometimes I do not like that I am lazy, but then I do not wish to work more. I wish that I was not lonely, but I do not like company or being crowded. Change, it is a strange thing.

[wayofflowers]

Perhaps a sorting of priorities is in order, then. But change does not have to be great to be important.

[proudambassador]

But what is a little change that counts?

[wayofflowers]

One that makes you happier, I suppose. Or the people you care about happier.

[proudambassador]

I think that I am as happy as I shall ever be. And as unhappy, hm?

[wayofflowers]

Perhaps. I think change is always possible, though - for the better or for the worse.

[proudambassador]

Maybe, maybe. But I do not know where to begin.

[wayofflowers]

With something small. Smile at someone as you walk to work. Say hello to someone you don't always.

[proudambassador]

I shall say hello, then. And we will see who says hello back, and who simply gives me a strange look and continues on.

[wayofflowers]

It's a start.

[proudambassador]

And you, my good Bellflower, are more of an optimist than I shall be.