(no subject)
yet again, one more disappointment to add to the list....this one didn't even bother to get to know me before he rejected me..yep yep...i have reached that level of getting guys to ignore me and treat me bad over the phone.
i know i should be thinking that it's not all me and that they are stupid for not liking me...w/e....i still can't help but want to turn off all the lights, sit in the shower and ball my eyes out.
ever since the "incident" i feel like i just get stuck in a funk easier.
i'm tired of this...
after the tims x2, the bad date, and now this....i'm starting to for real think it's me. i may quite possibly be done for a while. i thought this one was going to be fun. here enough to pay attention to me but not here enough that i can keep doing my thing...which i'm starting to wonder what my thing exactly is. i just don't know where to go from here. i don't know what i want to do, i mean come on i have to leave in less then a year and i have no direction...me the planner, the one who always knows what is going on. you would think that it's a good thing and i could use a chance to become more layed back....no it just stresses me out and yet again i want to sit on the shower floor and cry.
i guess i'm just feeling a little beat down. like day after day of the shit i have to deal with is getting to me...it's only september! what am i going to do later on?
and mel i can't believe i don't even deserve a phone call on my birthday. the only reason you bothered to contact me is b/c i called you first. i know you have a lot going on too..but i will call you on your birthday no matter what b/c that is what best friends do. they put things aside for two minutes to say i miss you and happy birthday, but apparently i don't even deserve that much.thanks.
w/e.i'm done for the night.i can't take it right now.
peace.
i know i should be thinking that it's not all me and that they are stupid for not liking me...w/e....i still can't help but want to turn off all the lights, sit in the shower and ball my eyes out.
ever since the "incident" i feel like i just get stuck in a funk easier.
i'm tired of this...
after the tims x2, the bad date, and now this....i'm starting to for real think it's me. i may quite possibly be done for a while. i thought this one was going to be fun. here enough to pay attention to me but not here enough that i can keep doing my thing...which i'm starting to wonder what my thing exactly is. i just don't know where to go from here. i don't know what i want to do, i mean come on i have to leave in less then a year and i have no direction...me the planner, the one who always knows what is going on. you would think that it's a good thing and i could use a chance to become more layed back....no it just stresses me out and yet again i want to sit on the shower floor and cry.
i guess i'm just feeling a little beat down. like day after day of the shit i have to deal with is getting to me...it's only september! what am i going to do later on?
and mel i can't believe i don't even deserve a phone call on my birthday. the only reason you bothered to contact me is b/c i called you first. i know you have a lot going on too..but i will call you on your birthday no matter what b/c that is what best friends do. they put things aside for two minutes to say i miss you and happy birthday, but apparently i don't even deserve that much.thanks.
w/e.i'm done for the night.i can't take it right now.
peace.