precursor to House/Thirteen fic which might not even exist...
Soooo....
I am, truly, the master of procrastination.
This is how it went.
I hated doing essays, so I studied for Chemistry instead. Then Chemistry got a little boring, so voila! Out comes the House fic idea.
And then, of course, writer's block/desperate need to kick my brother in the arse took over, so I spent the rest of the weekend watching Season 4 & and what's so far Season 5, and doing...other things.
Now it's Sunday.
And... as a salute to all the procrastinators in the world, I present to you the precursor to my House/Thirteen fic.
Which so far does not exist.
But I can hope, at least.
Five Things about House and Thirteen
1.
Word gets out that they're dating/sleeping together/screwing like bunnies--
(definition varies on how much House has pissed them off this week)
--hospital opinions diverge. Nearly everyone is shocked that either a) House actually has the capacity for another person in his soul, b) she would even consider him, or c) the fact that they're not shocked. Pedophilia jokes run rampant, and their relationship somehow becomes synonymous with crash and burn overnight, despite the surprising lack of drama.
The betting pools, by the way, go berserk.
Hissy fits are the latest trend. Most people have at least 50 bucks on Cameron and Thirteen's obviously impending catfight. Some of them have money on Cuddy and Thirteen's impending catfight. People also like the idea of someone in House's inner circle declaring a long-harbored and undying affection for him, but on who exactly it might be, opinions again vary. (Chase is currently leading by a slight margin.) No one, of course, dares to bet on Wilson. It would be cruel, it would be disrespectful, after all, he just lost a loved one. There was no way.
(Half of them are thinking it anyways.)
And just a handful of them (those too righteous to bet) hope that with a new sex toy/Rubik's cube/significant other, House might be on a shorter leash, or at least behave a little better.
Those people are sorely disappointed.
2.
They don't call each other by their first names, much.
At work, of course, the habit of using last names/House's name of the day is ingrained, but even when they're not under public scrutiny--
--saying Remy and Greg just didn't have that ring to it, you know?
Thirteen just uses Greg whenever she wants to annoy, to great effect. House simply ignores the fact that she even has a name beyond a number (must be a birth defect, he had explained to Wilson).
She had always been Thirteen to him, and that was never going to change.
3.
When asked his opinion (and he asked a lot, these days), Wilson says, truthfully, that he doesn't know.
Which, he supposed, was rather disloyal of him. According to House, Thirteen didn't have any friends, so his opinion on them was the most important one.
But he really doesn't know.
Part of him agrees with the general public, and thinks that they're crazy, and that the crash and the burn was inevitable, no matter how spectacular the sex might be (and according to House's unabridged descriptions, it was pretty fantastic).
Part of him thinks, a little wistfully sometimes, that the only person who might have suited House better personality-wise would have been Amber.
The biggest part of him, though, just really, really wishes that they would stop using his office as a rendezvous point.
4.
They're on borrowed time, both of them.
It was a race, they had decided when this whole thing started, a race to see who would die first. The final game they would play, against each other.
House, being House, had once joked that they ought to just euthanize each other, and be done with it.
Thirteen didn't laugh. Neither did House.
5.
Once or twice--
Sometimes--
Or all the time, on some days--
They look at this relationship--this thing, and they laugh at how stupid, how incredibly insane they both must be.
Because House is--well, House. And Thirteen is just--Thirteen.
That was really all you could say, once you took off the Library of Congress worth of mommy and daddy issues and the messed up pasts.
They're not exactly Prince Charming and Cinderella, here.
They both agree that if this was a fairy tale, the fairy godmother would have commited suicide, and midnight would have happened long ago.
But they don't care. And if they don't, who else can?
Maybe they don't really care about each other. May they are just using each other for sex. Maybe, just maybe, even thinking of them being together is exceptionally idiotic, let alone belonging.
Isn't that how the story goes, though?
Boy and girl live stupidly ever after.
I am, truly, the master of procrastination.
This is how it went.
I hated doing essays, so I studied for Chemistry instead. Then Chemistry got a little boring, so voila! Out comes the House fic idea.
And then, of course, writer's block/desperate need to kick my brother in the arse took over, so I spent the rest of the weekend watching Season 4 & and what's so far Season 5, and doing...other things.
Now it's Sunday.
And... as a salute to all the procrastinators in the world, I present to you the precursor to my House/Thirteen fic.
Which so far does not exist.
But I can hope, at least.
Five Things about House and Thirteen
1.
Word gets out that they're dating/sleeping together/screwing like bunnies--
(definition varies on how much House has pissed them off this week)
--hospital opinions diverge. Nearly everyone is shocked that either a) House actually has the capacity for another person in his soul, b) she would even consider him, or c) the fact that they're not shocked. Pedophilia jokes run rampant, and their relationship somehow becomes synonymous with crash and burn overnight, despite the surprising lack of drama.
The betting pools, by the way, go berserk.
Hissy fits are the latest trend. Most people have at least 50 bucks on Cameron and Thirteen's obviously impending catfight. Some of them have money on Cuddy and Thirteen's impending catfight. People also like the idea of someone in House's inner circle declaring a long-harbored and undying affection for him, but on who exactly it might be, opinions again vary. (Chase is currently leading by a slight margin.) No one, of course, dares to bet on Wilson. It would be cruel, it would be disrespectful, after all, he just lost a loved one. There was no way.
(Half of them are thinking it anyways.)
And just a handful of them (those too righteous to bet) hope that with a new sex toy/Rubik's cube/significant other, House might be on a shorter leash, or at least behave a little better.
Those people are sorely disappointed.
2.
They don't call each other by their first names, much.
At work, of course, the habit of using last names/House's name of the day is ingrained, but even when they're not under public scrutiny--
--saying Remy and Greg just didn't have that ring to it, you know?
Thirteen just uses Greg whenever she wants to annoy, to great effect. House simply ignores the fact that she even has a name beyond a number (must be a birth defect, he had explained to Wilson).
She had always been Thirteen to him, and that was never going to change.
3.
When asked his opinion (and he asked a lot, these days), Wilson says, truthfully, that he doesn't know.
Which, he supposed, was rather disloyal of him. According to House, Thirteen didn't have any friends, so his opinion on them was the most important one.
But he really doesn't know.
Part of him agrees with the general public, and thinks that they're crazy, and that the crash and the burn was inevitable, no matter how spectacular the sex might be (and according to House's unabridged descriptions, it was pretty fantastic).
Part of him thinks, a little wistfully sometimes, that the only person who might have suited House better personality-wise would have been Amber.
The biggest part of him, though, just really, really wishes that they would stop using his office as a rendezvous point.
4.
They're on borrowed time, both of them.
It was a race, they had decided when this whole thing started, a race to see who would die first. The final game they would play, against each other.
House, being House, had once joked that they ought to just euthanize each other, and be done with it.
Thirteen didn't laugh. Neither did House.
5.
Once or twice--
Sometimes--
Or all the time, on some days--
They look at this relationship--this thing, and they laugh at how stupid, how incredibly insane they both must be.
Because House is--well, House. And Thirteen is just--Thirteen.
That was really all you could say, once you took off the Library of Congress worth of mommy and daddy issues and the messed up pasts.
They're not exactly Prince Charming and Cinderella, here.
They both agree that if this was a fairy tale, the fairy godmother would have commited suicide, and midnight would have happened long ago.
But they don't care. And if they don't, who else can?
Maybe they don't really care about each other. May they are just using each other for sex. Maybe, just maybe, even thinking of them being together is exceptionally idiotic, let alone belonging.
Isn't that how the story goes, though?
Boy and girl live stupidly ever after.