(no subject)
I'm goi ng on a picnic with my mom today.
im happy right now. but i dont feel like its real.
last night as i tried to sleep i hated everyone.
i was overcome with jealousy.
about everyone.
besides jen, jan, and karen, there's things that make me want to hate each and every one of you.
i hate hate HATE myself for thinking them.
but i thought them last night, and it made me so sad to think them.
its almost like i avoided them till i couldn't any more.
i dont hate you all but, sometimes i think it would be easier if i could.
and im so sorry i ever thought bad things about you.
please forgive me.
because, mostly its myself i don't like.
because i don't even have the guts to tell you how i feel.
im happy right now. but i dont feel like its real.
last night as i tried to sleep i hated everyone.
i was overcome with jealousy.
about everyone.
besides jen, jan, and karen, there's things that make me want to hate each and every one of you.
i hate hate HATE myself for thinking them.
but i thought them last night, and it made me so sad to think them.
its almost like i avoided them till i couldn't any more.
i dont hate you all but, sometimes i think it would be easier if i could.
and im so sorry i ever thought bad things about you.
please forgive me.
because, mostly its myself i don't like.
because i don't even have the guts to tell you how i feel.