I have no life
I've been working the midnght shift since late November. I don't enjoy it, but I do enjoy the looks of enduring greatfulness from the day-shifters because I work so that they can sleep at a normal time and get to see their families.
Ha! They don't look at me like that. They actually dare tell me "You guys don't do anything on midnights." I don't expect people to owe me respect or give me gratitude for what I do, but it does bug the shit out of me that they tell me I don't really do anything, especially when we wear the same uniform.
Let me give you an idea of what I do every day:
11:30pm: Enter Institution in full uniform. Boots, brown BDUs, ugly khaki shirt, ID badge, belt and utility belt a la Batman.
11:46pm: Recieve post assignment. Typically in a dorm with the Close Management Inmates, levels I-III.
11:47am: Buy a Mountain Dew from the staff canteen. It's closed on Sundays, so hope there's some in the VP vending machine. If not, settle for a Coke.
11:50-11:58am: Walk to post assignment.
12:00am: Be on post or you're late and an incident report needs to be filled out.
12:00am: Formal count of inmates. If I count, there's a 98-100% chance someone will be masturbating at me while I walk around making sure no one has escaped or died. I'll tell them to stop, possibly write a Disciplinary Report if they are particularly gross about it (as if it weren't gross enough). They'll continue anyway. The DOC doesn't really give a shit that inmates masturbate at female staff. I guess I can't really, either, but it has taken a toll on my sex life. Imagine wanting to have sex and a vision of some inmate jerking off at you enters your mind. Yeah, nice huh?
12:30am: Security Check to see more idiots jerking off. Make sure none are gone or deceased. At this point, you hope some of them are either.
Repeat for night. Chow at 5am. Rec at 7am.
Ha! They don't look at me like that. They actually dare tell me "You guys don't do anything on midnights." I don't expect people to owe me respect or give me gratitude for what I do, but it does bug the shit out of me that they tell me I don't really do anything, especially when we wear the same uniform.
Let me give you an idea of what I do every day:
11:30pm: Enter Institution in full uniform. Boots, brown BDUs, ugly khaki shirt, ID badge, belt and utility belt a la Batman.
11:46pm: Recieve post assignment. Typically in a dorm with the Close Management Inmates, levels I-III.
11:47am: Buy a Mountain Dew from the staff canteen. It's closed on Sundays, so hope there's some in the VP vending machine. If not, settle for a Coke.
11:50-11:58am: Walk to post assignment.
12:00am: Be on post or you're late and an incident report needs to be filled out.
12:00am: Formal count of inmates. If I count, there's a 98-100% chance someone will be masturbating at me while I walk around making sure no one has escaped or died. I'll tell them to stop, possibly write a Disciplinary Report if they are particularly gross about it (as if it weren't gross enough). They'll continue anyway. The DOC doesn't really give a shit that inmates masturbate at female staff. I guess I can't really, either, but it has taken a toll on my sex life. Imagine wanting to have sex and a vision of some inmate jerking off at you enters your mind. Yeah, nice huh?
12:30am: Security Check to see more idiots jerking off. Make sure none are gone or deceased. At this point, you hope some of them are either.
Repeat for night. Chow at 5am. Rec at 7am.