on limits
I feel as though I've been hitting a lot of physical limits lately, and it's frustrating.
With running, I'm still slowly increasing my mileage to the point where I could comfortably run 20 miles a week, and where my long runs will be 10-12 miles on a regular basis (right now I'm stuck around 6 miles for my long runs; hoping to up it to 7 miles this week, and keep increasing over the next few weeks til I hit 10 miles in one go). I'd like to be able to run a half-marathon on short notice, so my mileage goals seem reasonable.
But I frequently feel like "I can't." If I'm running a hilly route, "I can't" make it up the next hill, "I can't" meet my mileage goal that day, "I can't" keep up a decent pace. It's really disheartening to feel like "I can't" do something I really enjoy doing, and that is good for me (physically, mentally, and so on). For instance, today I ran around Griffith Park, which was really pretty, but hillier than I'd expected. I was sure I couldn't manage 4 miles, so I cut back to 3, and felt pretty good after my run. Running 3 miles instead of 4 isn't the end of the world, but I'm still a little disappointed in myself.
With climbing, I also often feel as though "I can't" do lots of things. "I can't" make it up a tough 5.9, "I can't" try a new 5.10 (despite the fact that I've sunk a few 5.10as in the past, as in climbed on sight for the first time without falling at all!). When Pan and I went to climb at Boulderdash yesterday, so many things about the gym were new and different that I had a lot of "I can't" moments, and it was really discouraging overall. I mean, I still made it up 4-5 walls, and I pushed myself hard enough that I'm a little sore from it today. But I felt crappy while trying to climb yesterday. (oh, and fun times: I discovered that my fear of heights is tripled when surrounded by open spaces, i.e. when I'm not just climbing a wall, but an overhang that goes around a corner, so that if I fall, I don't know where I will be falling, which really freaks me out!)
I guess I just have trouble acknowledging that I have limits, and knowing when to push myself, and when to give myself a break. It's frustrating when it feels like I'm making limited (or non-existent) progress. But it helps to keep things in perspective: the fact that I'm running and climbing at all is pretty awesome, given that I'm pretty slow and afraid of heights and not given to risky activities. And as Pan likes to point out, my climbing really HAS improved in the last almost-year that we've been climbing together. And I ran a marathon last year.
With as many "I can't" moments that happen in my head, sometimes I'm surprised that I manage to accomplish anything at all. But then again, I am pretty damn stubborn, and I tend to stick to the goals I set, even in the face of setbacks. New goals: find something constructive with which to counter "I can't" moments in the future, and find better ways of cross-training in order to push myself to excel while not burning out at my primary activities.
Which reminds me: I need to run more hills, more regularly. Bloomington is mostly pretty flat and my default trail (Clear Creek) is especially flat. I need to mix this up, ASAP. Luckily I have another week in L.A. to take advantage of all the beautiful hilly terrain, without hopefully overdoing it and injuring myself like happened last year.
Is staying fit and managing fears/complacence vs. goals this much of a balancing act for others?
With running, I'm still slowly increasing my mileage to the point where I could comfortably run 20 miles a week, and where my long runs will be 10-12 miles on a regular basis (right now I'm stuck around 6 miles for my long runs; hoping to up it to 7 miles this week, and keep increasing over the next few weeks til I hit 10 miles in one go). I'd like to be able to run a half-marathon on short notice, so my mileage goals seem reasonable.
But I frequently feel like "I can't." If I'm running a hilly route, "I can't" make it up the next hill, "I can't" meet my mileage goal that day, "I can't" keep up a decent pace. It's really disheartening to feel like "I can't" do something I really enjoy doing, and that is good for me (physically, mentally, and so on). For instance, today I ran around Griffith Park, which was really pretty, but hillier than I'd expected. I was sure I couldn't manage 4 miles, so I cut back to 3, and felt pretty good after my run. Running 3 miles instead of 4 isn't the end of the world, but I'm still a little disappointed in myself.
With climbing, I also often feel as though "I can't" do lots of things. "I can't" make it up a tough 5.9, "I can't" try a new 5.10 (despite the fact that I've sunk a few 5.10as in the past, as in climbed on sight for the first time without falling at all!). When Pan and I went to climb at Boulderdash yesterday, so many things about the gym were new and different that I had a lot of "I can't" moments, and it was really discouraging overall. I mean, I still made it up 4-5 walls, and I pushed myself hard enough that I'm a little sore from it today. But I felt crappy while trying to climb yesterday. (oh, and fun times: I discovered that my fear of heights is tripled when surrounded by open spaces, i.e. when I'm not just climbing a wall, but an overhang that goes around a corner, so that if I fall, I don't know where I will be falling, which really freaks me out!)
I guess I just have trouble acknowledging that I have limits, and knowing when to push myself, and when to give myself a break. It's frustrating when it feels like I'm making limited (or non-existent) progress. But it helps to keep things in perspective: the fact that I'm running and climbing at all is pretty awesome, given that I'm pretty slow and afraid of heights and not given to risky activities. And as Pan likes to point out, my climbing really HAS improved in the last almost-year that we've been climbing together. And I ran a marathon last year.
With as many "I can't" moments that happen in my head, sometimes I'm surprised that I manage to accomplish anything at all. But then again, I am pretty damn stubborn, and I tend to stick to the goals I set, even in the face of setbacks. New goals: find something constructive with which to counter "I can't" moments in the future, and find better ways of cross-training in order to push myself to excel while not burning out at my primary activities.
Which reminds me: I need to run more hills, more regularly. Bloomington is mostly pretty flat and my default trail (Clear Creek) is especially flat. I need to mix this up, ASAP. Luckily I have another week in L.A. to take advantage of all the beautiful hilly terrain, without hopefully overdoing it and injuring myself like happened last year.
Is staying fit and managing fears/complacence vs. goals this much of a balancing act for others?