Uninteresting and self-reflective
You know, I don't think I've ever been happier.
I go home a week from tomorrow and while I'm really looking forward to seeing my family and Minneapolis, etc., I know that getting away from whatever it was there was what I needed. Really, really needed.
I thought about last year and last summer a few days ago - the last four or five years, actually, and how they were hard - and realized that that period is now and forever over. A lot of people go to college and grow up, and I think that while I was (excuse pretentiousness here) a lot more mature than some of the people I knew in terms of ideas before, I've now grown up emotionally. Thank God.
I don't even get physically sick anymore, really. Was was it about home - "home" - that made me sick?
Along with that sentiment, I think of the people with whom I used to associate and the people with whom I associate now. I don't think I ever had friends like this before - people I'm comfortable with, people I can talk to without having to watch my language, people who understand a lot more than I thought people could. And not understand things about me - people who just understand things. I haven't felt the need to seek anyone out to talk about "my problems" in three months now, and I don't see any reason to do so. (See more about people with whom I used to associate in private entry.)
I think I need to do some more thinking about this so I can better understand why I a) wasn't okay before, b) am okay now, and c) can continue to be okay in the future. A big part of it is being able to be in control (as opposed to under parental regime) ... another big part is forming healthy relationships with more emotionally healthy people. And a big part of it is just me. But I don't know why that part changed.
I'll stop rambling now. One of these days I'll get back to formulated and coherent livejournal entries. Maybe.
I go home a week from tomorrow and while I'm really looking forward to seeing my family and Minneapolis, etc., I know that getting away from whatever it was there was what I needed. Really, really needed.
I thought about last year and last summer a few days ago - the last four or five years, actually, and how they were hard - and realized that that period is now and forever over. A lot of people go to college and grow up, and I think that while I was (excuse pretentiousness here) a lot more mature than some of the people I knew in terms of ideas before, I've now grown up emotionally. Thank God.
I don't even get physically sick anymore, really. Was was it about home - "home" - that made me sick?
Along with that sentiment, I think of the people with whom I used to associate and the people with whom I associate now. I don't think I ever had friends like this before - people I'm comfortable with, people I can talk to without having to watch my language, people who understand a lot more than I thought people could. And not understand things about me - people who just understand things. I haven't felt the need to seek anyone out to talk about "my problems" in three months now, and I don't see any reason to do so. (See more about people with whom I used to associate in private entry.)
I think I need to do some more thinking about this so I can better understand why I a) wasn't okay before, b) am okay now, and c) can continue to be okay in the future. A big part of it is being able to be in control (as opposed to under parental regime) ... another big part is forming healthy relationships with more emotionally healthy people. And a big part of it is just me. But I don't know why that part changed.
I'll stop rambling now. One of these days I'll get back to formulated and coherent livejournal entries. Maybe.