article on networking
Ask Lindsey: Networking not-so-nicely
It’s no secret that I love networking and encourage it to all DWC members (and others). I think building and maintaining relationships is one of the most important keys to success in our careers and our lives. Hurrah, networking!
However...
There is a dark side to networking, and for some reason I’ve been noticing it a lot this summer-people who want to take rather than share, or those who are just plain unpleasant. Here are a few of the irritating types I’ve come across lately. I’m curious to know if you’ve met some of these, and how you’ve handled them.
The Copycat. This type is usually well-meaning and friendly, but asks for the keys to your career castle. In my case, the Copycat is a stranger who emails me out of the blue asking for my advice on getting articles in the magazines I write for and speaking gigs at the places where I present. I wholeheartedly believe in abundance-that there is enough work and success to go around-but am I going to give you my business plan and Rolodex so you can directly compete with me? Um…no.
The Overasker. There are many connections I’m happy to share freely, such as a trustworthy real estate lawyer or a hairstylist who understands curls. And then there are connections that are unique and uniquely important to me, which I only share with my most trusted inner circle. In my case, this includes someone like my literary agent. For other people, it may mean a CEO mentor or a celebrity they know from high school. The Overasker doesn’t appreciate the special nature of such VIP relationships and asks for connections to anyone and everyone. “I heard you used to date Rupert Murdoch’s son. Can you give me his number?” is asking too much. The Overasker needs to learn that some networking relationships must be earned.
The Dr. Jekyll. This gal is rare, but pretty shocking if you come across her. She is someone who has complained about your company or an event that you hosted in the past, and is now asking for a favor. In my case, the Dr. Jekyll came in the form of a woman who wrote a review of my book that included a lot of criticisms. The same day (!) she emailed to ask me for help with a personal project she was working on. Although I was kind of impressed by her chutzpah, I certainly didn’t have any desire to network with her. It’s a well-known maxim that people want to do business with people they like, and the same definitely goes for networking.
So, watch out for those Copycats, Overaskers and Dr. Jekylls as you go about your networking this month. And thank you for letting me get those grievances off my chest!
It’s no secret that I love networking and encourage it to all DWC members (and others). I think building and maintaining relationships is one of the most important keys to success in our careers and our lives. Hurrah, networking!
However...
There is a dark side to networking, and for some reason I’ve been noticing it a lot this summer-people who want to take rather than share, or those who are just plain unpleasant. Here are a few of the irritating types I’ve come across lately. I’m curious to know if you’ve met some of these, and how you’ve handled them.
The Copycat. This type is usually well-meaning and friendly, but asks for the keys to your career castle. In my case, the Copycat is a stranger who emails me out of the blue asking for my advice on getting articles in the magazines I write for and speaking gigs at the places where I present. I wholeheartedly believe in abundance-that there is enough work and success to go around-but am I going to give you my business plan and Rolodex so you can directly compete with me? Um…no.
The Overasker. There are many connections I’m happy to share freely, such as a trustworthy real estate lawyer or a hairstylist who understands curls. And then there are connections that are unique and uniquely important to me, which I only share with my most trusted inner circle. In my case, this includes someone like my literary agent. For other people, it may mean a CEO mentor or a celebrity they know from high school. The Overasker doesn’t appreciate the special nature of such VIP relationships and asks for connections to anyone and everyone. “I heard you used to date Rupert Murdoch’s son. Can you give me his number?” is asking too much. The Overasker needs to learn that some networking relationships must be earned.
The Dr. Jekyll. This gal is rare, but pretty shocking if you come across her. She is someone who has complained about your company or an event that you hosted in the past, and is now asking for a favor. In my case, the Dr. Jekyll came in the form of a woman who wrote a review of my book that included a lot of criticisms. The same day (!) she emailed to ask me for help with a personal project she was working on. Although I was kind of impressed by her chutzpah, I certainly didn’t have any desire to network with her. It’s a well-known maxim that people want to do business with people they like, and the same definitely goes for networking.
So, watch out for those Copycats, Overaskers and Dr. Jekylls as you go about your networking this month. And thank you for letting me get those grievances off my chest!