Chapter 84: In Which We Are Relieved But Busy as Hell.
So, I got the test results yesterday. There is something wonky with my blood, but it is not leukaemia. And I could not be more relieved.
See, I loved my sister. More than most of you can possibly imagine. But after her death, I have started to feel that for a large bunch of people, I am just a poor replacement of my twin. And without even realising it, I have done things the way I think she would have done them. Being diagnosed with the illness that was the death of her - that would have been way too much.
Studies are hectic. Really. But I enjoy it - a lot. I have no time to think, no time to spend sitting on the sofa, crying. I run from a lecture to another, from a seminar group to a quick lunch with my buddies - spend the NORMAL life of a NORMAL university student. I even had a date(ish) yesterday! (A guy I have known for years asked me out. We just decided to call it a date, even if it was more catching up with what is going on in our lives. And to make the Swede jealous, but tii-nanni apparently had better luck with that with her ex-Swede. (Way to go, girlie!) :D
Yet, not a day goes by that I would not wish it had been me instead of Sigrid. Or my sister. Or my fiancé. Is there a point? If so, then please, let me see it.
See, I loved my sister. More than most of you can possibly imagine. But after her death, I have started to feel that for a large bunch of people, I am just a poor replacement of my twin. And without even realising it, I have done things the way I think she would have done them. Being diagnosed with the illness that was the death of her - that would have been way too much.
Studies are hectic. Really. But I enjoy it - a lot. I have no time to think, no time to spend sitting on the sofa, crying. I run from a lecture to another, from a seminar group to a quick lunch with my buddies - spend the NORMAL life of a NORMAL university student. I even had a date(ish) yesterday! (A guy I have known for years asked me out. We just decided to call it a date, even if it was more catching up with what is going on in our lives. And to make the Swede jealous, but tii-nanni apparently had better luck with that with her ex-Swede. (Way to go, girlie!) :D
Yet, not a day goes by that I would not wish it had been me instead of Sigrid. Or my sister. Or my fiancé. Is there a point? If so, then please, let me see it.