The Day in Review.
Not too bad overall. Not sleeping last night was certainly not a big help to my overall alertness. Math continues to be hard and seems quite arbitrary and ridiculous at times, but I'm still maintaining a perfect score in that class. We'll see how well it goes after a few tests. Sociology still interests me, I'm still the brightest bulb in the room for what that's worth, and my teacher and I obviously have very different world views. But as slow as that class can be, it's easily the class I have the most enjoyment out of at this point if for nothing else playing Devil's Advocate to the teacher. Made dinner and only realized after that it was late enough that if I called the boys I more than likely wouldn't get an answer. So, I'll try again tomorrow. Life remains pretty empty without them, so I kind of live from visitation to visitation. I'm hoping that will change for the better given time. Day 3 of not smoking. The physical hurty bit is mostly done. I've made it way past this point before which tells me my addiction to smoking is mostly emotional/psychological/habitual rather than just physical addiction. That's the hardest part. The last time I started smoking again was in Iraq. I think primarily due to stress, boredom, adrenaline highs/lows. I reckon only time will tell if I can pull off quitting again. I know the kids want me to. But when they aren't here it's a lot easier to convince myself that they won't know. The mind of a junkie I suppose. Off to attempt sleep. Hopefully, tonight goes better than last night. Sept/Oct is always a rough time of year. Hopefully, remembering my buddies that didn't make it will get easier, but I doubt it.