the beginning of the end [[back dated to 2-28, closed to Joslire for H&M]]

[prophetepiphany]

Laura was laying down in the middle of the bed, topless except for her chest which was wrapped with ice packs and an ace bandage. She was alternating moaning in pain and sobbing at the fact that she was finally done breast feeding Laila. She couldn't believe it was actually over and now she was in agony

Comments

[knife_fighter]

Joslire came to her with a cup of tea, and tylenol, and a concerned expression.

He sat the tea and medication on the bedside table and sat down beside her on the bed.

"Is there no way to taper off rather than stopping all at once?"

[prophetepiphany]

"I don't know, but if we don't stop eventually Laila will be one of those kids who comes home from school and demands a snack by pulling at my shirt," she said, pushing herself up with a wince.

[knife_fighter]

"Perhaps we could try giving her her solid food and a bottle first, then she will nurse less, and you will make less milk and it will be less painful when you stop altogether?"

[prophetepiphany]

"You think I should unwrap and...pump something? You don't think I'll just go through the pain later?"

[knife_fighter]

"You could taper off, pump not quite all there is. Let your breasts get used to the decreased demand. It seems like the way it must have worked as people were evolving, the demand decreased as the ability to eat other foods increased."

[prophetepiphany]

"I'm kind of upset that you know more about this than I do because I should know, and I don't. And I'm in pain and talking irrationally and please don't be mad if I say something that you have every right to get mad at."

[knife_fighter]

"In my family, we all lived close together, all the generations, there was always a woman with a baby close by. How many new mothers did you get to watch as you were growing up?"

[prophetepiphany]

"None," she mumbled. "Well, my own. I had two sisters, but I must not have paid attention to the breast feeding part."

[knife_fighter]

"Perhaps it was done differently among your people, but among mine, the nursing was a thing that stopped gradually."

[prophetepiphany]

"Then maybe that's how we should do it, because I feel like my chest is going to cave in."

[knife_fighter]

"Would you like me to get the pump for you?" The relief in his voice was unmistakable. He hated seeing her in pain.

[prophetepiphany]

"Oh, Gods yes please," she said as she started unwrapping her chest. She was so swollen that even that hurt.

"I feel like I could feed ten babies right now."

[knife_fighter]

He was back in moments with the pump.

"Or I could get Laila?"

[prophetepiphany]

"Now this is going to make all of my crying about her very last breast feeding ever seem ridiculous."

[knife_fighter]

"Who is going to know that would say anything. Me? Laila?"

[prophetepiphany]

"My own feeling of insanity, that's all," she said with a heavy sigh. "Why do I feel so crazy again? Make it stop," she pouted.

It was likely lack of sleep, her thoughts of Starbuck, and the feeling of sometimes just not knowing what the hell she was doing as a mother.