(no subject)
It's something that's taken me far too long to pin down; too much rage, and too much time. To say "nothing matters", and actually mean it. Some days that is still beyond my reach; some days history rewrites itself when you aren't looking.
Being right doesn't matter, but neither does being wrong. Being wrong doesn't matter, but neither does being right. Some days that is infuriating, some days a relief. Sometimes both, and neither.
I think about the public hospital psychiatrist, who would probably dismiss all of this as high schooler Nietzsche posturing. But they don't matter either, not their own formidable nihilism, not the gaping hole in the ceiling of their living room, not their obvious apathy for the boarding house they run for axis 2 personality disorders who haven't yet managed to find the right drug cocktail or suicide method.
Nothing matters because nothing matters; nothing matters because nothing matters.
Being right doesn't matter, but neither does being wrong. Being wrong doesn't matter, but neither does being right. Some days that is infuriating, some days a relief. Sometimes both, and neither.
I think about the public hospital psychiatrist, who would probably dismiss all of this as high schooler Nietzsche posturing. But they don't matter either, not their own formidable nihilism, not the gaping hole in the ceiling of their living room, not their obvious apathy for the boarding house they run for axis 2 personality disorders who haven't yet managed to find the right drug cocktail or suicide method.
Nothing matters because nothing matters; nothing matters because nothing matters.