looking in the mirror
Something unusual happen to me today. I was in a hurry to get out the door and get to work, so for the third day in a row I just took a shower and skipped washing my hair. Now on day two that's not a problem as I almost never wash my hair two days in a row...my hair is dry these days so I just don't need to wash it every day. By day four, though, yuck! I just gave it a quick brush and clipped it into a pony tail and took off to work, thankful that not even my boss would be there today (many days he's the only other person I see at work).
An hour or so later, I went to the restroom at work. When I was washing my hands, I looked into the mirror above and thought one of my usual self-critical thoughts: yuck, I look gross (or something like that) and then I scowled at myself. The strangest thing happened almost immediately..."I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (from Psalm 139, my favorite Psalm) came to mind. Next my thoughts went something like this: That's weird that that would pop into my head; I don't think I've ever had that happen before. But I should believe that...why don't I believe that about myself? This chapter of the Bible has been my favorite since my high school days. Why have I never soaked in these thoughts and tried to apply them to myself (giving myself some grace for a bad hair day, a stain on my shirt, even the weight I've put on over the years)? I went back to work happy that I had the moment but not thinking about it much more than that.
The next time I went to wash my hands, the SAME thing happened..."I am fearfully and wonderfully made" popped into my head again when I scowled at myself in the mirror. This is good, I thought; this could change my life if I allow it to take hold. Maybe I am finally ready to let God teach me how to love myself instead of constantly criticizing myself. I pray it takes hold and that God can do something new in me and allow me to be joy-filled at the thought that He created me and He has a plan for me just as I am.
Now, I'm going to post this even though it may be a little beyond my comfort zone to share this openly...because, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
An hour or so later, I went to the restroom at work. When I was washing my hands, I looked into the mirror above and thought one of my usual self-critical thoughts: yuck, I look gross (or something like that) and then I scowled at myself. The strangest thing happened almost immediately..."I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (from Psalm 139, my favorite Psalm) came to mind. Next my thoughts went something like this: That's weird that that would pop into my head; I don't think I've ever had that happen before. But I should believe that...why don't I believe that about myself? This chapter of the Bible has been my favorite since my high school days. Why have I never soaked in these thoughts and tried to apply them to myself (giving myself some grace for a bad hair day, a stain on my shirt, even the weight I've put on over the years)? I went back to work happy that I had the moment but not thinking about it much more than that.
The next time I went to wash my hands, the SAME thing happened..."I am fearfully and wonderfully made" popped into my head again when I scowled at myself in the mirror. This is good, I thought; this could change my life if I allow it to take hold. Maybe I am finally ready to let God teach me how to love myself instead of constantly criticizing myself. I pray it takes hold and that God can do something new in me and allow me to be joy-filled at the thought that He created me and He has a plan for me just as I am.
Now, I'm going to post this even though it may be a little beyond my comfort zone to share this openly...because, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.