Headache on the roof
What’s funny is that I’m the one person to verbalize the thing that was on everyone’s mind, and so I’m taking all the hate and bash for simply stating my opinion, feeling and thoughts in my own journal. Ben Silarno was sulking and growling about the exact same thing I was today. He said that everyone was forgetting that seniors weren’t the only one’s with senior friends, and that everyone was losing a friend: the seniors aren’t taking the time to realize that we’re as scared and sad that they’re leaving as they are.
So Matt and Meghan didn’t want me to come inside tonight when James got picked up by Adam and Sean. I waited at the end of the driveway fro my dad to come, in shorts in the cold air for an hour. My dad then refused to come pick me up, because he said I wasn’t where I’d said I’d be. In truth I was, and it was he who went to the wrong house: He went to Corey’s house. Adam drove me home, and the only specific thing I could think of that would have upset Meghan and Matt today, was when I mumbled to Matt Ward about my hatred for “how she disgustingly plastered herself over anyone.” It just so happened that Meg was hugging Matt at the same point, and in turning away from talking, my eyes paned across her. Really I was talking about Christina Lesure, but like so many other things as of late, no one waited for my clarification before glaring.
Jamie was the only one who made any effort in noticing how I felt, and paid some attention. Megan Ross on the other hand said nothing, along with Kelsey. It hurt me that Megan called Maralee the previous night to say that she didn’t want us feeling the way I’d described in my journal. Kelsey’s comment and Megan’s proved exactly, the point I had made: They’d care how we say them, but not enough to go to us. Megan could have called me, who wrote the entry, not Maralee who may or may not have read it.
I realize that by writing this everyone’s going to get even more pissed at me for how I feel. But it’s my emotion, and there’s really not all that much I can do about that. I’ve been to boarding school, I’ve lived a lifetime before so many of these people, and I know exactly how they’re going to feel next fall. I’ve been in their shoes, but they seem to have forgotten mine. It was only one year ago that they watched Jessica g off, and two years ago when Carl, Rania, Sandy and Gene did. If they get even more mad at me for how I feel, than all I have left to do is forget.
So Matt and Meghan didn’t want me to come inside tonight when James got picked up by Adam and Sean. I waited at the end of the driveway fro my dad to come, in shorts in the cold air for an hour. My dad then refused to come pick me up, because he said I wasn’t where I’d said I’d be. In truth I was, and it was he who went to the wrong house: He went to Corey’s house. Adam drove me home, and the only specific thing I could think of that would have upset Meghan and Matt today, was when I mumbled to Matt Ward about my hatred for “how she disgustingly plastered herself over anyone.” It just so happened that Meg was hugging Matt at the same point, and in turning away from talking, my eyes paned across her. Really I was talking about Christina Lesure, but like so many other things as of late, no one waited for my clarification before glaring.
Jamie was the only one who made any effort in noticing how I felt, and paid some attention. Megan Ross on the other hand said nothing, along with Kelsey. It hurt me that Megan called Maralee the previous night to say that she didn’t want us feeling the way I’d described in my journal. Kelsey’s comment and Megan’s proved exactly, the point I had made: They’d care how we say them, but not enough to go to us. Megan could have called me, who wrote the entry, not Maralee who may or may not have read it.
I realize that by writing this everyone’s going to get even more pissed at me for how I feel. But it’s my emotion, and there’s really not all that much I can do about that. I’ve been to boarding school, I’ve lived a lifetime before so many of these people, and I know exactly how they’re going to feel next fall. I’ve been in their shoes, but they seem to have forgotten mine. It was only one year ago that they watched Jessica g off, and two years ago when Carl, Rania, Sandy and Gene did. If they get even more mad at me for how I feel, than all I have left to do is forget.