Big Happy Us
I still can't believe what happened to Lily's dad. That it was so sudden, and she didn't even have any time to prepare. And he was young.
A viable, die-able age.
I can't imagine being completely blindsided by something like that. Getting nice letter from mum saying something like, "Hi, how are you? How's school? I miss you! Your dad would too, but he died. OOPS forgot, he's been sick - MOM"
And it would be shocking, and scary, and horrible.
But in spite of this, and for which I feel slightly guilty, I have this overarching sense of well-being. Because I'm not fighting with Sirius or Remus any more, partly, but largely because of something else. Lily and I are an "us" again. Quite apart from being Lily Alone and James Alone, we are LilyandJames again. And I'm beginning to realize that I missed her even more than I thought I did.
I think Sirius and Remus are a "them" now, too. I could be imagining things, but it seems like they've gotten touchy-er. Fingers stay places longer than they really need to. Or they look like they're so very almost touching that the hairs on his arm stand up like Remus is conducting the same static electricty you get from holding a helium balloon very close to your hair.
I still feel a pang of... something to see him with someone else. But I'll get over it. I have to. So we can... be one big happy..something. One big happy us.
's been a long week, but we've managed to grit our teeth and slough through it. Some better than others. How is everyone making out?