It's been a while, friends
So it has indeed been a long, long time since I've written in this baby. And so much has changed and happened. But have no fear, after moving back home and finally setting into my new job at MGH, I am ready to make a triumphant return to the world of LJ-ing. Emo Allie has returned! Sound the trumpets!
So, I moved out of beloved Tremont Residence Hall two weeks ago. I am going to miss the unbelievable times I had in 434 this year. The person who gets that room next year better respect it's glory. My room looked so sad when it was empty, and I miss being able to look out on the common everyday. (sigh) But I must admit, nothing beats a North Shore summer with the people you love the most. Liz Kristen Tasha Syds (even though shes a Newtonian) Chris Beth Paul Steph Eric Alisha Joe Alex Jesse and everyone else, I missed you guys so much! Nothing like a trip to Woodman's, Hampton Beach, West Beach, the Willows or a drive down Old Route 1 to bring back all the awesome memories of summers gone by. Love you guys, and this summer is going to be great, I feel it!
The last night at Suffolk was a terrible shit show. Well, what would you expect? Me and Justin played with firearms and Drew, Chris, Joe and Anthony came into visit. Then we went to Berklee to see Beth, Steph and Jess (who I miss so much) and drank oursleves retarded. So much fucked up shit happened that night. I am still not decided as to whether it was a total failure in every sense, or just a drunken shit show. I'm leaning more towards drunken shit show, but as of late, I have become increasingly aware of the fact that some people are just hardcore, true jackasses, drunk or not. None the less, I partook in a glorious handle of Gordon's Vodka and drank (for the most part) with people I adore. I don't even remember walking back from Berklee to my dorm. Apparently Joe was dancing around in nothing but his boxers and Chris passed out. Also, there was so much ruckus comming from my room that everyone on my floor kept comming in to see what was going on. I think that sounds like a sucessful night of drinking, dont you?
Also, in the morning, I awoke to realize that everyone had writing all over them, and I had a roomful of half-naked guys and my parents were comming in in a few hours to move me out. LoL.
So on move-out day, I basically just dumped my stuff in my room, and got right up and left for Westfield State College to visit Eric. I was not about to spend one night chilling in Danvers (UGH) sooner than I had to. The first night was really fun, Eric and I played flip cup and it is officially my new favorite game. The second night, not so good, not so good at all. But it did open my eyes to a fact I have made myself blind to for over a year now. Also, ladies, Eric is one fine piece of man. Don't let ugly chicks get the best of him anymore.. (hehe just looking out for you Eric.. rugby players with no teeth, eh? lol)
Perhaps the best progress I've made in a while: I've stoped concerning myself with.. yeah, you know. At first, I went through my regular cycle of "Hells yeah Allie! You did the right thing by telling him off!" then regret. But what permanatly sealed the deal for me this time was the fact that the person in question (and trust me, after what he said to me, I should not be so gracious as to afford him the curtisy of keeping him nameless, but I shall remain the bigger person).. left not one but two obscenely out of line voicemails on my cell phone. In which he stated that he wishes that in my lifetime I "get raped" and "have to have abortions" and "get STDs" and that I should just "die".
Classy? Mature?
There's just simply no justification for it. I walked away for the good of both of us, in a civil manner and didnt talk to you for at least a week. There is no excuse for doing something so beligerant and malicious and down-right hurtful. You'll never know how much that hurt becuase you never acknowledeged how much I always cared about you, friend or not, close or far, school or home. It was insulting and unecessary. I don't know what else to say other than goodbye.
Yes, I am putting on a good game face now, acting like I don't care. But I have to. No more running back to an abusive cycle. I think Beth put it best in this post she left in my journal some weeks ago:
"so, what do you do now? you get tough, really tough. you have to stop it, and you need to do it now. because tomorrow never comes. it just keeps getting pushed futher and futher away. you know you don't need him. you say everyone thinks you are crazy and weak. well fuckin prove to them you aren't. your world isn't gonna fall apart if you lose one person. enough people love you. stop wasting your time. you are 19. you told me that you know it can never be. so be strong enough to let it go. i know you can. and i'm always gonna be here... because i am strong enough to defy the people who tell me i shouldnt be. i love you. i don't care what anyone else says. you will be so happy. be happy. you are strong enough.
love, b"
and in that lies the truth and it's becomming more and more apparent with each passing day.
and this is me, being done with it.
So, just a real quick synopsis cause this is getting long, but the past two weeks have been suprisingly great. Summer is off to an amazing start, and if the past two weeks are any indication of whats to come, I think this might just be the best summer ever. Been to the beach a ton of times, and oh yes, there's been plenty of boozing nights with my girls. Especially Tasha, she fucking rocks. After that crazy night in the North End, I am convinced that Tasha rocks my world. Well, I always knew this but that night just reiterated it for me. Everything, for the most part, in the past two weeks has been exceedingly awesome. Oh, except for the trip I had to make to the hospital last Saturday night when I stopped breathing.. yeah, that was BAD and something I wish not to discuss here. But I'm a survivor.
Me and Allison "made friends with Franzia" one night... And the rest is history. lol.
Other than that, work and friends are great. MGH is a lot better than I thought it would be and the pay is awesome. At first, I felt like I was just a number in the huge mass of everyday commuters into Boston. But when I saw what I do at MGH, i saw that even a simple hello can make a huge difference in the day of a person who is sick or one of their loved ones. And that, for sake of sounding corny, makes me feel wonderful. Also, I have an amazing group of friends, and I'm so thankful they are in my life. Things are good.
And with that, I declare the Summer of 2004 officually begun and officially going to be awesome. Awesomer than awesome.
I promise to update!
And by the by, I miss all my SU-ers like whoa. So much. I walked by the Red Hat today on my lunch break and remembered all the drunken times. Memories. Can't wait to see y'all again in the fall.
<3 A very tan, a very happy, a very at peace with herself Allie :)
So, I moved out of beloved Tremont Residence Hall two weeks ago. I am going to miss the unbelievable times I had in 434 this year. The person who gets that room next year better respect it's glory. My room looked so sad when it was empty, and I miss being able to look out on the common everyday. (sigh) But I must admit, nothing beats a North Shore summer with the people you love the most. Liz Kristen Tasha Syds (even though shes a Newtonian) Chris Beth Paul Steph Eric Alisha Joe Alex Jesse and everyone else, I missed you guys so much! Nothing like a trip to Woodman's, Hampton Beach, West Beach, the Willows or a drive down Old Route 1 to bring back all the awesome memories of summers gone by. Love you guys, and this summer is going to be great, I feel it!
The last night at Suffolk was a terrible shit show. Well, what would you expect? Me and Justin played with firearms and Drew, Chris, Joe and Anthony came into visit. Then we went to Berklee to see Beth, Steph and Jess (who I miss so much) and drank oursleves retarded. So much fucked up shit happened that night. I am still not decided as to whether it was a total failure in every sense, or just a drunken shit show. I'm leaning more towards drunken shit show, but as of late, I have become increasingly aware of the fact that some people are just hardcore, true jackasses, drunk or not. None the less, I partook in a glorious handle of Gordon's Vodka and drank (for the most part) with people I adore. I don't even remember walking back from Berklee to my dorm. Apparently Joe was dancing around in nothing but his boxers and Chris passed out. Also, there was so much ruckus comming from my room that everyone on my floor kept comming in to see what was going on. I think that sounds like a sucessful night of drinking, dont you?
Also, in the morning, I awoke to realize that everyone had writing all over them, and I had a roomful of half-naked guys and my parents were comming in in a few hours to move me out. LoL.
So on move-out day, I basically just dumped my stuff in my room, and got right up and left for Westfield State College to visit Eric. I was not about to spend one night chilling in Danvers (UGH) sooner than I had to. The first night was really fun, Eric and I played flip cup and it is officially my new favorite game. The second night, not so good, not so good at all. But it did open my eyes to a fact I have made myself blind to for over a year now. Also, ladies, Eric is one fine piece of man. Don't let ugly chicks get the best of him anymore.. (hehe just looking out for you Eric.. rugby players with no teeth, eh? lol)
Perhaps the best progress I've made in a while: I've stoped concerning myself with.. yeah, you know. At first, I went through my regular cycle of "Hells yeah Allie! You did the right thing by telling him off!" then regret. But what permanatly sealed the deal for me this time was the fact that the person in question (and trust me, after what he said to me, I should not be so gracious as to afford him the curtisy of keeping him nameless, but I shall remain the bigger person).. left not one but two obscenely out of line voicemails on my cell phone. In which he stated that he wishes that in my lifetime I "get raped" and "have to have abortions" and "get STDs" and that I should just "die".
Classy? Mature?
There's just simply no justification for it. I walked away for the good of both of us, in a civil manner and didnt talk to you for at least a week. There is no excuse for doing something so beligerant and malicious and down-right hurtful. You'll never know how much that hurt becuase you never acknowledeged how much I always cared about you, friend or not, close or far, school or home. It was insulting and unecessary. I don't know what else to say other than goodbye.
Yes, I am putting on a good game face now, acting like I don't care. But I have to. No more running back to an abusive cycle. I think Beth put it best in this post she left in my journal some weeks ago:
"so, what do you do now? you get tough, really tough. you have to stop it, and you need to do it now. because tomorrow never comes. it just keeps getting pushed futher and futher away. you know you don't need him. you say everyone thinks you are crazy and weak. well fuckin prove to them you aren't. your world isn't gonna fall apart if you lose one person. enough people love you. stop wasting your time. you are 19. you told me that you know it can never be. so be strong enough to let it go. i know you can. and i'm always gonna be here... because i am strong enough to defy the people who tell me i shouldnt be. i love you. i don't care what anyone else says. you will be so happy. be happy. you are strong enough.
love, b"
and in that lies the truth and it's becomming more and more apparent with each passing day.
and this is me, being done with it.
So, just a real quick synopsis cause this is getting long, but the past two weeks have been suprisingly great. Summer is off to an amazing start, and if the past two weeks are any indication of whats to come, I think this might just be the best summer ever. Been to the beach a ton of times, and oh yes, there's been plenty of boozing nights with my girls. Especially Tasha, she fucking rocks. After that crazy night in the North End, I am convinced that Tasha rocks my world. Well, I always knew this but that night just reiterated it for me. Everything, for the most part, in the past two weeks has been exceedingly awesome. Oh, except for the trip I had to make to the hospital last Saturday night when I stopped breathing.. yeah, that was BAD and something I wish not to discuss here. But I'm a survivor.
Me and Allison "made friends with Franzia" one night... And the rest is history. lol.
Other than that, work and friends are great. MGH is a lot better than I thought it would be and the pay is awesome. At first, I felt like I was just a number in the huge mass of everyday commuters into Boston. But when I saw what I do at MGH, i saw that even a simple hello can make a huge difference in the day of a person who is sick or one of their loved ones. And that, for sake of sounding corny, makes me feel wonderful. Also, I have an amazing group of friends, and I'm so thankful they are in my life. Things are good.
And with that, I declare the Summer of 2004 officually begun and officially going to be awesome. Awesomer than awesome.
I promise to update!
And by the by, I miss all my SU-ers like whoa. So much. I walked by the Red Hat today on my lunch break and remembered all the drunken times. Memories. Can't wait to see y'all again in the fall.
<3 A very tan, a very happy, a very at peace with herself Allie :)