So this is 32.
My birthday was Friday. Actually, this whole past week was my vacation time. I didn't go anywhere this week, except for some random shopping. What I got accomplished? Not much, except for some cleaning up and throwing out of crap I don't need to hang on to anymore.
Tuesday was when CBS aired the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Now, the week before, I was up at the Victoria's Secret store at Southlake Mall/Westfield Shopping Center Southlake/whatever the hell they're calling themselves these days. (It'll still be Southlake Mall to me. I don't really give a shit.) They had this awesome multicolored sequinned zip-up Love Pink hoodie that was TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS. Which is a lot for a zip-up hoodie, really, and it didn't even look that warm. But DAMN was it awesome. And it was featured in the Fashion Show. Somehow my parents found out that I had my eye on it. My dad said I could have it for my birthday if I really wanted it.
(NO WAY, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!!!!!)
So Mom and I went to Victoria's Secret the next day to get that zip-up hoodie....and they were all out. They weren't even on the website that morning. The sales associate there said they were pretty much sold out of them as soon as the store opened that day. BUT....I found something even better for cheaper. I got this awesome black faux-fur Love Pink heavy jacket (pretty much a winter coat) for $130 instead.
Kevin got me a new TV. I didn't even ask for one. He asked if I wanted anything in particular, and quite honestly, I didn't know what I wanted for my birthday OR Christmas this year. (Yeah, I know. I'm being difficult. I don't mean to, but my mind is literally a blank. What I really want is a new paint job for my car, but that's getting kind of expensive.)
What I REALLY want is a new job and a place of my own so I can freaking move out from living with my parents. This is killing me. It's so hard to make ends meet and save up; just when I think I'm ahead, something comes along that requires a lot of money. And good luck convincing Kevin we should move in together. He's been going back to school and that's been hard on him lately. But it's been five years; isn't it about time for that kind of commitment?! And I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF CASHIERING AT THAT DAMN GROCERY STORE. They're breaking my balls. They keep scheduling me for before-the-asscrack-of-dawn hours. Who the hell did I piss off to deserve this?! And the customers are so fucking rude and inconsiderate. And my co-workers are starting to get on my damn nerves. And now that certain co-workers aren't even at our store anymore, it sucks.
I jokingly told myself last birthday that if my situation hadn't improved in a year, I'd kill myself. And my situation really has not improved much. I feel like it's been two steps forward and three steps back. Last year, I thought I'd be moved out by now and possibly in art school, and I'm still SO FAR AWAY from that goal. It's depressing. And Mom keeps nagging me when the hell Kevin and I are going to get married or at least move in together, and I wish I had an answer for her, and I don't want to have to pull the "nagging girlfriend" card on him, but I don't know what to do.
(GODDAMMIT I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK TOMORROW.)
Tuesday was when CBS aired the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Now, the week before, I was up at the Victoria's Secret store at Southlake Mall/Westfield Shopping Center Southlake/whatever the hell they're calling themselves these days. (It'll still be Southlake Mall to me. I don't really give a shit.) They had this awesome multicolored sequinned zip-up Love Pink hoodie that was TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS. Which is a lot for a zip-up hoodie, really, and it didn't even look that warm. But DAMN was it awesome. And it was featured in the Fashion Show. Somehow my parents found out that I had my eye on it. My dad said I could have it for my birthday if I really wanted it.
(NO WAY, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!!!!!)
So Mom and I went to Victoria's Secret the next day to get that zip-up hoodie....and they were all out. They weren't even on the website that morning. The sales associate there said they were pretty much sold out of them as soon as the store opened that day. BUT....I found something even better for cheaper. I got this awesome black faux-fur Love Pink heavy jacket (pretty much a winter coat) for $130 instead.
Kevin got me a new TV. I didn't even ask for one. He asked if I wanted anything in particular, and quite honestly, I didn't know what I wanted for my birthday OR Christmas this year. (Yeah, I know. I'm being difficult. I don't mean to, but my mind is literally a blank. What I really want is a new paint job for my car, but that's getting kind of expensive.)
What I REALLY want is a new job and a place of my own so I can freaking move out from living with my parents. This is killing me. It's so hard to make ends meet and save up; just when I think I'm ahead, something comes along that requires a lot of money. And good luck convincing Kevin we should move in together. He's been going back to school and that's been hard on him lately. But it's been five years; isn't it about time for that kind of commitment?! And I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF CASHIERING AT THAT DAMN GROCERY STORE. They're breaking my balls. They keep scheduling me for before-the-asscrack-of-dawn hours. Who the hell did I piss off to deserve this?! And the customers are so fucking rude and inconsiderate. And my co-workers are starting to get on my damn nerves. And now that certain co-workers aren't even at our store anymore, it sucks.
I jokingly told myself last birthday that if my situation hadn't improved in a year, I'd kill myself. And my situation really has not improved much. I feel like it's been two steps forward and three steps back. Last year, I thought I'd be moved out by now and possibly in art school, and I'm still SO FAR AWAY from that goal. It's depressing. And Mom keeps nagging me when the hell Kevin and I are going to get married or at least move in together, and I wish I had an answer for her, and I don't want to have to pull the "nagging girlfriend" card on him, but I don't know what to do.
(GODDAMMIT I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK TOMORROW.)