I smell barbecue. Or Jem-Snark. Whichever.
I really had to sit down and think hard about which episode I wanted to snark on next, and the inspiration came to me as I was at work the other day, ringing people up for various barbecue products. Since it is summertime after all, people are firing up their grills and eating and eating and eating. EAT, DAMMIT!
Yumness. So I bring you today's episode: "The World Hunger Shindig." In which horrendous 80s country-Western-type style presides over the whole episode, and apparently there's something involving charity, too. CUE THE THEME SONG!
This fierce, meat-eating bitch invites you in:
This episode begins with Jem and the Holograms being transported via helicopter to Sally Brand's ranch for one of her famous barbecues. All of this just for a freakin' barbecue? It's not just any barbecue!
"Well, fiddle-dee-dee."
It's a prelude to a huge-ass fundraiser, that's what!
Turns out Ellen Sue Tanner--the chairwoman of the World Hunger Foundation--bet Sally Brand that she couldn't raise $8 million in one week for her charity. Sally took Ellen Sue up on her bet, and she's throwing "The World Hunger Shindig" at the Houston Astrodome!
And hoo boy, re-watching this ep on YouTube and reading the comments about "WTF is the Astrodome?" there (and at the Truly Outrageous Yahoo group)....seriously, people? THIS is the Astrodome:
And as the big pull to get people to come to the Shindig, Sally's managed to get a big name to perform...........the hunky British teen idol, Sean Harrison!
Hmmm....big venue....charity program...I think I know where this is headed. Sally Brand is going to have Jem and the Holograms perform for this World Hunger Shindig as well, isn't she? Oh, you know she did.
Wow, talk about an entrance! And we're not even two minutes into this episode, but it's already time for a music video. Jem ain't messin' around!
How much more arm-flailing can Jem do in this music video?
But I'm not gonna lie, this is one of my favorite songs of theirs. After their "impromptu" performance, Jem and the Holograms go introduce themselves to Sally Brand, who in turn introduces them to the dreamy Sean Harrison. Turns out he absolutely loved that song, and wants to know who wrote it. Kimber did, of course. Sean automatically likes Kimber and sparks are already flying between them.
Conveniently, Jem feels like she's "coming down with something" and excuses herself to go lie and make the switcheroo back to being Jerrica lay down.
So while she's nearly out of everyone's sight, she has Synergy conjure up a hologram of a taxicab pulling up and Jerrica getting out so she can make the "Show's over, Synergy" switch without being terribly obvious about it.
Then--as Jerrica--she goes running into Rio's arms.
Luckily, we haven't seen Rio macking on Jem yet in this episode, or Jem making the moves on him, whichever way you want to interpret this crazy-messed-up relationship. And Rio's already in the stereotypical Western-spirit of things, in his cowboy gear. Yee-haw.
Finally, after "all those talks on the phone," Sally gets to meet Jerrica and introduces her to C.B. Dodd, a big oil tycoon who's willing to invest in a record company. STARLIGHT MUSIC, PERHAPS?!!
And then the party don't start till these bitches show up.
Sally was about ready to give up on Eric Raymond showing up, considering he's one of the promoters for the event. Why anyone would hire Eric Raymond to promote anything is beyond me, but oh well. The Misfits introduce themselves and express their interest in being a part of the Shindig. Eric admits they may seem a bit unorthodox, but "they really want a chance to help the hungry."
Sally tells Eric that they can perform at the Shindig, but they can't be on the Live Album unless one of the other bands backs out. Well, I think we know how this will turn out, won't we? They're going to make sure that of all the other bands that are performing, Jem and the Holograms won't so they can. Why? Because the Misfits are jealous haters. And while Jem and the Holograms get to stay in the main house, Eric and the Misfits are relegated to the guest house.
"Shut your face, Roxy."
Off to the side, Jerrica asks if she knows anything about working with Eric Raymond because he's trouble. Sally says she knows Eric's a proven weasel, but she's got his eye on him. Suuuure you do. Then why did you hire him?
Then Pizzazz makes a move for Sean, cooing about how it's been over a year since she saw him in that crummy club in London and asking if he's still fighting off all comers. WOAH, so Sean and Pizzazz were involved at one point?! UGH. Sean just kind of blows her off, and Pizzazz looks aghast. I think it's obvious he's more interested in Kimber. This won't bode well.
In the guest house, Eric is realizing he's not cut out to be a cowboy when Pizzazz bursts in the way she always does and bitches to him that the Misfits are playing the Shindig for FREE and they aren't even going to be on the Live Album. WTF?!! So what exactly is Eric getting out of this? He bitches back that he's getting absolutely NOTHING but contacts and publicity for those three ingrates. WOW, Eric! You've got the nerve to bitch back at Pizzazz! Score one for you! (Sometimes I like Eric for moments like this, but most of the time, he's just a rat bastard.) The Misfits retreat to their respective rooms. Eric yells at them that one of those rooms is his and two of them will have to share.
It's unanimous. Eric's sleeping on the couch. Selfish, ungrateful bitches.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen area, Zipper has sneaked in. Great. Eric's got Zipper involved, and you know Zipper will find a way to botch things up. He ALWAYS does. So what's Eric want him to do this time? Get rid of Jem and the Holograms tomorrow. DUH.
The next morning, Sally greets Jerrica and Kimber before she heads off for her office in Houston. Jerrica and Kimber remark how much different Sally looks. Probably because Sally's wearing her "whip-crackin' business duds." A subject Jerrica knows about all too well, HMM?!
Anyway, Sally tells the girls to enjoy their stay at the ranch before the show the next night. There's horseback riding and swimming, but she warns them to stay away from gullies and ravines because it's flash-blood season. First sight of a storm cloud and high-tail it back home, because those things can get dangerous.
"Yes, ma'am."
Then we get some quality time with Rio before Jerrica can mack on him as Jem. He asks where Jem is, and she keeps up her lie about Jem being sick in bed and will be better in time for the concert. Because she wants time with her boyfriend as herself, duh. So Rio lets her know that their equipment is loaded and he's got to make it to the Dome for setup, but she wants some...ahem, "alone time" with him.
And before you say he's blowing her off, keep in mind that Rio has a job he needs to get done as road manager/roadie and doesn't exactly have time to horse around. This story could have taken a comedic twist and he'd be waiting on "sick Jem" hand and foot, but no. Jerrica is kind of upset, but he knows he's got a job to do. She is his boss, after all. But wow. Check out the blue and orange contrast in Jerrica's outfit. And while we're at it, aren't purple and yellow complimentary colors, too? Way to be color-coordinated, Rio.
Oh well. They get a little country lovin' in before Rio leaves, promising to call her around ten that night. And now Jerrica and the rest of the Holograms can relax all day!
Oh please. Being able to feed a bird directly out of your hand? This shit only happens in cartoons.
Sean thinks her Disney princess antics are cute, though. (Who wouldn't?) He asks Kimber to come on the trail ride with him because his British-ass knows nothing about horses. She agrees. Pizzazz spies nearby and is jealous.
Like I said, this won't bode well.
So the girls go horseback riding with Sean and C.B. Dodd, and also take a swim in the ol' swimmin' hole. Then out of nowhere while they're relaxin' in the sun, A PHONE RINGS. Now I realize in 2010, this is pretty commonplace anymore. But keep in mind that "Jem" took place over twenty years ago. And check out the huge honkin' cordless phone that C.B. Dodd pulls out and talks on.
Makes me think of the "Boondocks" episode where Riley tries to go see Gangstalicious in the hospital and Granddad made him lug that huge-ass cordless phone with him. And the one guy stops Riley in the hospital and tries to buy his "antique" phone off of him. Turns out Sean's manager needs him in Houston to sign some contracts. Ah well. The business life of a teen idol is never done. So Sean puts his pants back on....
....and I try to resist going "UNF UNF UNF," but it ain't happening. C.B. goes back with Sean. C.B., you jackass. You're going to leave the Holograms all by themselves? Before they even get a chance to change out of their bathing suits, Cowboy Zipper and his cohort come and threaten the girls to follow them into the ravine.
Like these girls don't recognize Zipper at this point anymore.
As Jerrica realizes they are in some major trouble, Kimber advises her under her breath that she better use Synergy for something. So as the girls are being hustled along, Kimber tumbles and feigns a foot injury.
(Check out the blue-orange contrast on Aja, as per usual. And Jerrica's looking fine in her bathing suit, for that matter. Doesn't really look like something she'd wear. Looks more like something Jem would wear, to be honest.)
Zipper tells Kimber to "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" and it's kind of funny, but Jerrica uses Synergy to conjure up a hologram of....a flash flood.
Okay. How believable can Synergy make a rainstorm to fall from the sky? If those raindrops are essentially holograms, how can you feel them? And can you seriously expect things to go from zero dry to a freaking flash flood within a few minutes? (And BTW, you can tell Kimber's hair is pink when the "flash flood" hits. BLOOPER!) Zipper and his fellow thug must be pretty freaking gullible to believe all of that. Either that, or Synergy must be THAT DAMN GOOD. Regardless, Zipper and his fellow thug run off. Jerrica and the rest of the group are safe and make it back to the ranch. Thanks a lot, C.B.
Back at the ranch, the girls are going on a hayride. Kimber wonders where Sean is, but Curly (one of the farmhands, I guess) tells her when Sean got back, he saw Sean go off with the Misfits. Of course. Kimber is mildly disappointed.
Meanwhile, Pizzazz pulls into a place in downtown Houston with Sean and the other Misfits in tow. Roxy proclaims Pizzazz always knows how to find a parking spot. Yeah, it may be illegal, but she always does. The Misfits make their entrance at a random bar and everyone goes nuts inside.
Sean isn't really thrilled to be there, especially since I guess Pizzazz lead him to believe Kimber was going to be there.
I freaking LOVE the Misfits' Western outfits. It's a shame these weren't made for the dolls. I would totally wear something like this for Gay Cowboy Night at the Rocky Horror Picture Show. So Pizzazz and Roxy and Stormer take the stage, and Pizzazz tells the crowd they're in town because they have to play the World Hunger Shindig and get on that Live Album. But tonight, charity begins at home! And here begins the most awesome Misfits' song ever! (Forgive the quality of this video; the singing is not very well synched up with the music, but I haven't been able to find a better quality one on YouTube. There's a better version within the ep here, though.)
Sean's being a real buzzkill, though. He's bored.
He wants to go back to the ranch and be with Kimber. And he flat-out tells Pizzazz this to her face, too. HOW DARE HE?!!
So yeah. Pizzazz isn't in a good mood at all after that. She's driving them back to the ranch, and pretty much telling Sean, "You used to be cool. What happened?" He tells her to slow down and grow up. Conveniently, guess who happens to be crossing the road on their hayride as Pizzazz is driving like a bat out of hell?
OF COURSE.
Now I honestly don't think the Misfits meant to cause this accident. But since Jerrica and the rest of the Holograms were in the wagon, I think that got 'em a little excited. Okay, more than a little excited, they were fuckin' THRILLED.
And I bet if Jem had been in the wagon, they would've gotten out of their car and done a victory dance. But the axel is busted. Much like something that would've happened in the Oregon Trail computer games back in the 80s, so they have to get back to the ranch on foot.
Jerrica asks Kimber if she noticed who was in the car with the Misfits. Kimber sure did. And she vows to never speak to Sean again. Gurl is pissed. I don't blame her.
Since Jerrica and the others had to hoof it back to the ranch, she misses out on that ten o'clock phone call from Rio. This guy just can't win, can he? At least he didn't think of calling Jem, who is still "sick in bed": "Hey Jem, Jerrica flaked out on me, wanna make out or something?" Safe to say, we have a Pissy Rio Moment. As soon as Rio gets off the phone, Zipper gets in the phonebooth and calls Eric up.
I love how schmaltzy Eric sounds when he answers the phone, "World Hunger Shindig, give what you can." Zipper tells him that the plan fell through. See? I told you Zipper would manage to botch things up. He ALWAYS does. (When Zipper says, "It's me, boss," I think he says, "It's meatballs" instead.) Eric is pissed, but Zipper tells him he's got a backup plan that he'll take care of the next day at the Astrodome.
The next day at the Astrodome, Zipper is taking ticket money and skimming it for Eric. Oh, Sally, Jerrica warned you! When Jem and the Holograms show up, they're given a golf cart to get them easier access to their dressing room, courtesy of security. Nothing wrong with that, right? But Sean catches up with Kimber finally and wants to have a talk with her about the previous night. Kimber is still angry, but Jem tells her to give him a chance to at least explain. So she bites. Jem, Shana and Aja go off and leave Kimber and Sean alone.
Sean tells Kimber that Pizzazz tricked him into going off with the Misfits the other night. Kimber forgives him. All is well. Awww. (WOW, that didn't take long.)
Security gets Jem and the Holograms to their dressing room. Which consists of a door with what looks like "Jem and the Holograms" scrawled on it in chalk.
Know what this reminds me of?
"I've one thing to say and that's ONLY ASSHOLES WRITE ON DOORS."
So Jem and the others are kind of fools for buying into this, really. Zipper's other thug locks them into a storage room and won't let them out until the concert's over. This is all in the bag for the Misfits now!
Elsewhere in the Astrodome, Rio is in a helluva mood. Kimber is wandering around, wondering where the hell Jem and the others are when Rio stops her and wants to know what's going on. It's been two days since he's had any sort of contact with Jem or the others, including his own girlfriend. Kimber's all, "Oh, you don't know what's going on then?" Understatement of the YEAR, hon. Kimber covers for her damn sister, telling Rio that Jerrica caught Jem's cold and stayed behind at the ranch. (UGH.) She's worried about the others, because she can't find them.
Back in holding, the other thug checks on Jem, Shana and Aja. As he disappears from sight, we discover that Jem, Shana and Aja have actually found a way out and fooled the "guard" with a hologram.
Zipper then presents Eric with what he skimmed off of the ticket sales. So it looks like Eric isn't exactly working for nothing after all, huh? Hope he plans on sharing a cut of that with the Misfits. Eric gripes that Zipper works for a flat fee, not a percentage.
Bah, the life of a hired thug is a tough one. Eric asks about his "other assignment" that he gave Zipper, which was presumable making sure Jem and the Holograms were disposed of before the concert. He also attempts to hide the stolen money in a briefcase in the same airvent in which Jem, Shana and Aja are crawling.
I don't smell barbecue anymore. I smell a rat bastard! So Jem gets an idea while she's out of view. When Zipper comes back to retrieve the briefcase, he's in for quite a shock.
HA HA, it was only a hologram, asshole!
Jem, Shana and Aja escape, grabbing the briefcase with them. Zipper comes back with a baseball bat to club the snake, but discovers the briefcase is gone. See? TOLD you Zipper would botch things up. He and the other thug find them and chase them down, yelling, "GET THOSE CHICKS!" Eric is informing Sally and Miss Ellen Sue that Jem and the Holograms won't be able to show up. (Man, you would think with Jem and the Holograms' track record of showing up very last minute to their shows...) Kimber catches up and pleads her band's case.
You know how when movies are in certain locales and stereotypical music plays? Well, cue up the country-style incidental music while Jem, Shana and Aja attempt to escape Zipper and his other thug!
Look where Jem, Aja and Shana end up!
HA HA, look at Jem playing "keep the briefcase of money away" from Zipper!
Just as the announcer is ready to introduce the Misfits, Sally notices Jem, Aja and Shana up above and introduces them as "TOTALLY Outrageous." Sally, it's TRULY Outrageous. Get it right.
Looks like Jem and the Holograms get to perform AND be on the Live Album after all. Eat THAT, Pizzazz.
This is a Jem and the Holograms video, and JERRICA is SINGING?!!! Why not make your stupid secret identity a little more freaking OBVIOUS?!!
TWO Jems?! Oh wait, Kimber's trying to be like her sister again. And I wonder who's wise idea it was to do a Beatles' tribute here with the Sgt. Pepper's cover?
Wait, this isn't the end. Miss Ellen Sue Tanner points out that Sally is $280,000 short of meeting her bet. Jem coughs up the briefcase that she "saw someone trying to steal from Eric's office." Pizzazz bitches, "Yeah, only in this for the contacts, huh?"
Eric tries to BS his way out of this by saying he privately raised the money to donate on his own, and he knows it won't match the $250,000 but he would donate it. Sally tells him "the bet don't mean diddly to me" and she only cares about helping the starving kids. THEN she forces Eric to sign over his $50,000 promotion fee. The Misfits get a good snicker out of it, and Sally is able to reach her goal of $8 million.
Seriously, WHY do the Misfits even bother keeping Eric around as their manager?! He's a crooked dickhead!
As a post-script, if you follow this blog, you're probably aware that around Christmastime, I (and all the other cashiers at the other Strack and Van Til stores) participate in a donation drive for the Northwest Indiana Food Bank. For the last few years, I've managed to pull in a fairly large amount around the holidays, but they can always use more help. Seeing as they are one of my charities of choice, I'm going to shamelessly pimp them out:
http://www.foodbanknwi.org/
If you don't live in Northwest Indiana and would still like to help, please visit http://feedingamerica.org/
Saint Jerrica thanks you for your time.
"Outrageous" count: one
How many times did Jerrica/Jem transform in this episode: one (that we actually saw)
Yumness. So I bring you today's episode: "The World Hunger Shindig." In which horrendous 80s country-Western-type style presides over the whole episode, and apparently there's something involving charity, too. CUE THE THEME SONG!
Click to viewThis fierce, meat-eating bitch invites you in:
This episode begins with Jem and the Holograms being transported via helicopter to Sally Brand's ranch for one of her famous barbecues. All of this just for a freakin' barbecue? It's not just any barbecue!
"Well, fiddle-dee-dee."
It's a prelude to a huge-ass fundraiser, that's what!
Turns out Ellen Sue Tanner--the chairwoman of the World Hunger Foundation--bet Sally Brand that she couldn't raise $8 million in one week for her charity. Sally took Ellen Sue up on her bet, and she's throwing "The World Hunger Shindig" at the Houston Astrodome!
And hoo boy, re-watching this ep on YouTube and reading the comments about "WTF is the Astrodome?" there (and at the Truly Outrageous Yahoo group)....seriously, people? THIS is the Astrodome:
And as the big pull to get people to come to the Shindig, Sally's managed to get a big name to perform...........the hunky British teen idol, Sean Harrison!
Hmmm....big venue....charity program...I think I know where this is headed. Sally Brand is going to have Jem and the Holograms perform for this World Hunger Shindig as well, isn't she? Oh, you know she did.
Wow, talk about an entrance! And we're not even two minutes into this episode, but it's already time for a music video. Jem ain't messin' around!
How much more arm-flailing can Jem do in this music video?
But I'm not gonna lie, this is one of my favorite songs of theirs. After their "impromptu" performance, Jem and the Holograms go introduce themselves to Sally Brand, who in turn introduces them to the dreamy Sean Harrison. Turns out he absolutely loved that song, and wants to know who wrote it. Kimber did, of course. Sean automatically likes Kimber and sparks are already flying between them.
Conveniently, Jem feels like she's "coming down with something" and excuses herself to go lie and make the switcheroo back to being Jerrica lay down.
So while she's nearly out of everyone's sight, she has Synergy conjure up a hologram of a taxicab pulling up and Jerrica getting out so she can make the "Show's over, Synergy" switch without being terribly obvious about it.
Then--as Jerrica--she goes running into Rio's arms.
Luckily, we haven't seen Rio macking on Jem yet in this episode, or Jem making the moves on him, whichever way you want to interpret this crazy-messed-up relationship. And Rio's already in the stereotypical Western-spirit of things, in his cowboy gear. Yee-haw.
Finally, after "all those talks on the phone," Sally gets to meet Jerrica and introduces her to C.B. Dodd, a big oil tycoon who's willing to invest in a record company. STARLIGHT MUSIC, PERHAPS?!!
And then the party don't start till these bitches show up.
Sally was about ready to give up on Eric Raymond showing up, considering he's one of the promoters for the event. Why anyone would hire Eric Raymond to promote anything is beyond me, but oh well. The Misfits introduce themselves and express their interest in being a part of the Shindig. Eric admits they may seem a bit unorthodox, but "they really want a chance to help the hungry."
Sally tells Eric that they can perform at the Shindig, but they can't be on the Live Album unless one of the other bands backs out. Well, I think we know how this will turn out, won't we? They're going to make sure that of all the other bands that are performing, Jem and the Holograms won't so they can. Why? Because the Misfits are jealous haters. And while Jem and the Holograms get to stay in the main house, Eric and the Misfits are relegated to the guest house.
"Shut your face, Roxy."
Off to the side, Jerrica asks if she knows anything about working with Eric Raymond because he's trouble. Sally says she knows Eric's a proven weasel, but she's got his eye on him. Suuuure you do. Then why did you hire him?
Then Pizzazz makes a move for Sean, cooing about how it's been over a year since she saw him in that crummy club in London and asking if he's still fighting off all comers. WOAH, so Sean and Pizzazz were involved at one point?! UGH. Sean just kind of blows her off, and Pizzazz looks aghast. I think it's obvious he's more interested in Kimber. This won't bode well.
In the guest house, Eric is realizing he's not cut out to be a cowboy when Pizzazz bursts in the way she always does and bitches to him that the Misfits are playing the Shindig for FREE and they aren't even going to be on the Live Album. WTF?!! So what exactly is Eric getting out of this? He bitches back that he's getting absolutely NOTHING but contacts and publicity for those three ingrates. WOW, Eric! You've got the nerve to bitch back at Pizzazz! Score one for you! (Sometimes I like Eric for moments like this, but most of the time, he's just a rat bastard.) The Misfits retreat to their respective rooms. Eric yells at them that one of those rooms is his and two of them will have to share.
It's unanimous. Eric's sleeping on the couch. Selfish, ungrateful bitches.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen area, Zipper has sneaked in. Great. Eric's got Zipper involved, and you know Zipper will find a way to botch things up. He ALWAYS does. So what's Eric want him to do this time? Get rid of Jem and the Holograms tomorrow. DUH.
The next morning, Sally greets Jerrica and Kimber before she heads off for her office in Houston. Jerrica and Kimber remark how much different Sally looks. Probably because Sally's wearing her "whip-crackin' business duds." A subject Jerrica knows about all too well, HMM?!
Anyway, Sally tells the girls to enjoy their stay at the ranch before the show the next night. There's horseback riding and swimming, but she warns them to stay away from gullies and ravines because it's flash-blood season. First sight of a storm cloud and high-tail it back home, because those things can get dangerous.
"Yes, ma'am."
Then we get some quality time with Rio before Jerrica can mack on him as Jem. He asks where Jem is, and she keeps up her lie about Jem being sick in bed and will be better in time for the concert. Because she wants time with her boyfriend as herself, duh. So Rio lets her know that their equipment is loaded and he's got to make it to the Dome for setup, but she wants some...ahem, "alone time" with him.
And before you say he's blowing her off, keep in mind that Rio has a job he needs to get done as road manager/roadie and doesn't exactly have time to horse around. This story could have taken a comedic twist and he'd be waiting on "sick Jem" hand and foot, but no. Jerrica is kind of upset, but he knows he's got a job to do. She is his boss, after all. But wow. Check out the blue and orange contrast in Jerrica's outfit. And while we're at it, aren't purple and yellow complimentary colors, too? Way to be color-coordinated, Rio.
Oh well. They get a little country lovin' in before Rio leaves, promising to call her around ten that night. And now Jerrica and the rest of the Holograms can relax all day!
Oh please. Being able to feed a bird directly out of your hand? This shit only happens in cartoons.
Sean thinks her Disney princess antics are cute, though. (Who wouldn't?) He asks Kimber to come on the trail ride with him because his British-ass knows nothing about horses. She agrees. Pizzazz spies nearby and is jealous.
Like I said, this won't bode well.
So the girls go horseback riding with Sean and C.B. Dodd, and also take a swim in the ol' swimmin' hole. Then out of nowhere while they're relaxin' in the sun, A PHONE RINGS. Now I realize in 2010, this is pretty commonplace anymore. But keep in mind that "Jem" took place over twenty years ago. And check out the huge honkin' cordless phone that C.B. Dodd pulls out and talks on.
Makes me think of the "Boondocks" episode where Riley tries to go see Gangstalicious in the hospital and Granddad made him lug that huge-ass cordless phone with him. And the one guy stops Riley in the hospital and tries to buy his "antique" phone off of him. Turns out Sean's manager needs him in Houston to sign some contracts. Ah well. The business life of a teen idol is never done. So Sean puts his pants back on....
....and I try to resist going "UNF UNF UNF," but it ain't happening. C.B. goes back with Sean. C.B., you jackass. You're going to leave the Holograms all by themselves? Before they even get a chance to change out of their bathing suits, Cowboy Zipper and his cohort come and threaten the girls to follow them into the ravine.
Like these girls don't recognize Zipper at this point anymore.
As Jerrica realizes they are in some major trouble, Kimber advises her under her breath that she better use Synergy for something. So as the girls are being hustled along, Kimber tumbles and feigns a foot injury.
(Check out the blue-orange contrast on Aja, as per usual. And Jerrica's looking fine in her bathing suit, for that matter. Doesn't really look like something she'd wear. Looks more like something Jem would wear, to be honest.)
Zipper tells Kimber to "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" and it's kind of funny, but Jerrica uses Synergy to conjure up a hologram of....a flash flood.
Okay. How believable can Synergy make a rainstorm to fall from the sky? If those raindrops are essentially holograms, how can you feel them? And can you seriously expect things to go from zero dry to a freaking flash flood within a few minutes? (And BTW, you can tell Kimber's hair is pink when the "flash flood" hits. BLOOPER!) Zipper and his fellow thug must be pretty freaking gullible to believe all of that. Either that, or Synergy must be THAT DAMN GOOD. Regardless, Zipper and his fellow thug run off. Jerrica and the rest of the group are safe and make it back to the ranch. Thanks a lot, C.B.
Back at the ranch, the girls are going on a hayride. Kimber wonders where Sean is, but Curly (one of the farmhands, I guess) tells her when Sean got back, he saw Sean go off with the Misfits. Of course. Kimber is mildly disappointed.
Meanwhile, Pizzazz pulls into a place in downtown Houston with Sean and the other Misfits in tow. Roxy proclaims Pizzazz always knows how to find a parking spot. Yeah, it may be illegal, but she always does. The Misfits make their entrance at a random bar and everyone goes nuts inside.
Sean isn't really thrilled to be there, especially since I guess Pizzazz lead him to believe Kimber was going to be there.
I freaking LOVE the Misfits' Western outfits. It's a shame these weren't made for the dolls. I would totally wear something like this for Gay Cowboy Night at the Rocky Horror Picture Show. So Pizzazz and Roxy and Stormer take the stage, and Pizzazz tells the crowd they're in town because they have to play the World Hunger Shindig and get on that Live Album. But tonight, charity begins at home! And here begins the most awesome Misfits' song ever! (Forgive the quality of this video; the singing is not very well synched up with the music, but I haven't been able to find a better quality one on YouTube. There's a better version within the ep here, though.)
Sean's being a real buzzkill, though. He's bored.
He wants to go back to the ranch and be with Kimber. And he flat-out tells Pizzazz this to her face, too. HOW DARE HE?!!
So yeah. Pizzazz isn't in a good mood at all after that. She's driving them back to the ranch, and pretty much telling Sean, "You used to be cool. What happened?" He tells her to slow down and grow up. Conveniently, guess who happens to be crossing the road on their hayride as Pizzazz is driving like a bat out of hell?
OF COURSE.
Now I honestly don't think the Misfits meant to cause this accident. But since Jerrica and the rest of the Holograms were in the wagon, I think that got 'em a little excited. Okay, more than a little excited, they were fuckin' THRILLED.
And I bet if Jem had been in the wagon, they would've gotten out of their car and done a victory dance. But the axel is busted. Much like something that would've happened in the Oregon Trail computer games back in the 80s, so they have to get back to the ranch on foot.
Jerrica asks Kimber if she noticed who was in the car with the Misfits. Kimber sure did. And she vows to never speak to Sean again. Gurl is pissed. I don't blame her.
Since Jerrica and the others had to hoof it back to the ranch, she misses out on that ten o'clock phone call from Rio. This guy just can't win, can he? At least he didn't think of calling Jem, who is still "sick in bed": "Hey Jem, Jerrica flaked out on me, wanna make out or something?" Safe to say, we have a Pissy Rio Moment. As soon as Rio gets off the phone, Zipper gets in the phonebooth and calls Eric up.
I love how schmaltzy Eric sounds when he answers the phone, "World Hunger Shindig, give what you can." Zipper tells him that the plan fell through. See? I told you Zipper would manage to botch things up. He ALWAYS does. (When Zipper says, "It's me, boss," I think he says, "It's meatballs" instead.) Eric is pissed, but Zipper tells him he's got a backup plan that he'll take care of the next day at the Astrodome.
The next day at the Astrodome, Zipper is taking ticket money and skimming it for Eric. Oh, Sally, Jerrica warned you! When Jem and the Holograms show up, they're given a golf cart to get them easier access to their dressing room, courtesy of security. Nothing wrong with that, right? But Sean catches up with Kimber finally and wants to have a talk with her about the previous night. Kimber is still angry, but Jem tells her to give him a chance to at least explain. So she bites. Jem, Shana and Aja go off and leave Kimber and Sean alone.
Sean tells Kimber that Pizzazz tricked him into going off with the Misfits the other night. Kimber forgives him. All is well. Awww. (WOW, that didn't take long.)
Security gets Jem and the Holograms to their dressing room. Which consists of a door with what looks like "Jem and the Holograms" scrawled on it in chalk.
Know what this reminds me of?
"I've one thing to say and that's ONLY ASSHOLES WRITE ON DOORS."
So Jem and the others are kind of fools for buying into this, really. Zipper's other thug locks them into a storage room and won't let them out until the concert's over. This is all in the bag for the Misfits now!
Elsewhere in the Astrodome, Rio is in a helluva mood. Kimber is wandering around, wondering where the hell Jem and the others are when Rio stops her and wants to know what's going on. It's been two days since he's had any sort of contact with Jem or the others, including his own girlfriend. Kimber's all, "Oh, you don't know what's going on then?" Understatement of the YEAR, hon. Kimber covers for her damn sister, telling Rio that Jerrica caught Jem's cold and stayed behind at the ranch. (UGH.) She's worried about the others, because she can't find them.
Back in holding, the other thug checks on Jem, Shana and Aja. As he disappears from sight, we discover that Jem, Shana and Aja have actually found a way out and fooled the "guard" with a hologram.
Zipper then presents Eric with what he skimmed off of the ticket sales. So it looks like Eric isn't exactly working for nothing after all, huh? Hope he plans on sharing a cut of that with the Misfits. Eric gripes that Zipper works for a flat fee, not a percentage.
Bah, the life of a hired thug is a tough one. Eric asks about his "other assignment" that he gave Zipper, which was presumable making sure Jem and the Holograms were disposed of before the concert. He also attempts to hide the stolen money in a briefcase in the same airvent in which Jem, Shana and Aja are crawling.
I don't smell barbecue anymore. I smell a rat bastard! So Jem gets an idea while she's out of view. When Zipper comes back to retrieve the briefcase, he's in for quite a shock.
HA HA, it was only a hologram, asshole!
Jem, Shana and Aja escape, grabbing the briefcase with them. Zipper comes back with a baseball bat to club the snake, but discovers the briefcase is gone. See? TOLD you Zipper would botch things up. He and the other thug find them and chase them down, yelling, "GET THOSE CHICKS!" Eric is informing Sally and Miss Ellen Sue that Jem and the Holograms won't be able to show up. (Man, you would think with Jem and the Holograms' track record of showing up very last minute to their shows...) Kimber catches up and pleads her band's case.
You know how when movies are in certain locales and stereotypical music plays? Well, cue up the country-style incidental music while Jem, Shana and Aja attempt to escape Zipper and his other thug!
Look where Jem, Aja and Shana end up!
HA HA, look at Jem playing "keep the briefcase of money away" from Zipper!
Just as the announcer is ready to introduce the Misfits, Sally notices Jem, Aja and Shana up above and introduces them as "TOTALLY Outrageous." Sally, it's TRULY Outrageous. Get it right.
Looks like Jem and the Holograms get to perform AND be on the Live Album after all. Eat THAT, Pizzazz.
This is a Jem and the Holograms video, and JERRICA is SINGING?!!! Why not make your stupid secret identity a little more freaking OBVIOUS?!!
TWO Jems?! Oh wait, Kimber's trying to be like her sister again. And I wonder who's wise idea it was to do a Beatles' tribute here with the Sgt. Pepper's cover?
Wait, this isn't the end. Miss Ellen Sue Tanner points out that Sally is $280,000 short of meeting her bet. Jem coughs up the briefcase that she "saw someone trying to steal from Eric's office." Pizzazz bitches, "Yeah, only in this for the contacts, huh?"
Eric tries to BS his way out of this by saying he privately raised the money to donate on his own, and he knows it won't match the $250,000 but he would donate it. Sally tells him "the bet don't mean diddly to me" and she only cares about helping the starving kids. THEN she forces Eric to sign over his $50,000 promotion fee. The Misfits get a good snicker out of it, and Sally is able to reach her goal of $8 million.
Seriously, WHY do the Misfits even bother keeping Eric around as their manager?! He's a crooked dickhead!
As a post-script, if you follow this blog, you're probably aware that around Christmastime, I (and all the other cashiers at the other Strack and Van Til stores) participate in a donation drive for the Northwest Indiana Food Bank. For the last few years, I've managed to pull in a fairly large amount around the holidays, but they can always use more help. Seeing as they are one of my charities of choice, I'm going to shamelessly pimp them out:
http://www.foodbanknwi.org/
If you don't live in Northwest Indiana and would still like to help, please visit http://feedingamerica.org/
Saint Jerrica thanks you for your time.
"Outrageous" count: one
How many times did Jerrica/Jem transform in this episode: one (that we actually saw)