What happens when Jem loses her earrings?!
It's time for another "Jem" snark! So go grab yourself one of these...
...and sit back! CUE THE THEME SONG!
Today's episode: "Adventures in China." Also known as "The Worst Possible Thing Happens to Jem." You'll see why.
This episode opens with Jem and the Holograms (and Rio, too) on a plane trip to China for the last show of their tour. Rio reminds Jem that she was lucky the Chinese government allowed her to perform. "I just wish Jerrica were with us," he whines.
("I miss Jerrica....but hey Jem, since you're here, wanna join the Mile High Club?")
SEE?! He thinks about his girlfriend. Jem reassures him that Jerrica will be arriving shortly. *ha* Liar.
Meanwhile...I don't know if it's on the same flight, or on another plane following Jem and the Holograms (I'm assuming it's another, cheaper flight because Eric Raymond is a cheap bastard) is the Misfits. Of course. Roxy's absorbed in her Walkman (remember those?!!)...
...and Eric asks her if she wants to see the view. Roxy's all, "Pshaw, it's just a giant wall."
Just because the Misfits are the "bad girls" doesn't mean they can't at least try to be a little cultured. *sigh* Roxy whines that Jem and the Holograms are the ones doing the concert and the Misfits are just doing a second-rate tour. Bitch, bitch, bitch. You're TOURING. Have fun with it! Quit complaining! What, like Misfits' fans aren't coming out in droves for you ladies? At least Eric got the Misfits booked into China, which wasn't easy.
Not even a minute in, and there's not enough Pizzazz. Damn.
So Jem and the Holograms land in China.
Fans are going nuts. Aja says, "This is wild!" Kimber says, "Outrageous!" (Take a drink.) So what about the Misfits? Well, they got this:
Pizzazz is pissed, and bitches to Eric, "Couldn't you have paid to have given us a flashier reception? Jem and the Holograms have totally upstaged us!" Come on, like they even know you're in China...do they?
Time to go through customs. All the rest of the Holograms take off their jewelry and stuff....except for Jem, of course.
WARNING! WARNING! WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! TAKE OFF YOUR EARRINGS, BIMBO!
Of course, this is a major problem for Jem. The Chinese officials are ordering her to take her earrings off and go through the metal detector again. Jem refuses. Really, Jem, this is dumb. Can't you just take the earrings off for a minute, have the Jem-hologram going from where it is, and walk through the metal detector? Or, I dunno, you could've just made the trip as Jerrica and NOT as Jem. But no, that would make too much sense.
One of the Chinese ambassadors tells the officer to just lay off Jem and quit embarrassing her. I guess it's because she's an "honored guest."
So she can get away with it because she's Jem? EFF THAT. In today's post 9/11-world, she would NOT be allowed to go through customs without taking off her earrings and just waltz through with no questions asked. How do we know she doesn't have an elaborate bomb in her earrings? Hmm? Jem would be labeled a freaking TERRORIST. If everyone has to submit to the new body-screening devices, there are no exceptions. ZERO TOLERANCE, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!
But whatever. Have a nice stay in China!
I guess the Misfits saw what happened (even though they were no where in that scene), and Eric and the Misfits wonders why Jem wouldn't take her earrings off. Roxy remarks, "They must be super-important to her. If she freaked out over going through customs..."
Yep. Eric just got a great idea. Somewhere, Kristy Thomas is angry that she didn't think of it first. Eric orders their limo driver to take them to the nearest jewelry store.
Later on, the Holograms are relaxing in a nice mineral bath before their show.
Kimber urges Jem to join them. And NOW Jem decides to take off her freaking earrings, because she's afraid the mineral water will short them out. She just places them in a random place...doesn't put them in a plastic baggy or a box or stow them under her robe or anything. Just. Puts. Them. Down. And then she disrobes.
SEXAY. She then goes into the pool for a little bit. Kimber warns her to enjoy it while she can, because the concert starts in about a half hour. Keep this in mind. A HALF HOUR.
Then Roxy sneaks in and snatches Jerrica's earrings. You knew it was going to happen.
Jem then decides she wants to get started early rehearsing, so she gets out of the tub to go to their dressing room. And then it happens.
She reverts back to being Jerrica. FULLY CLOTHED. She went into the pool wearing only a bathing suit as Jem, but she comes out in a full outfit that somehow isn't dripping wet. THIS MAKES SENSE. Let's applaud the animators for taking this into consideration! I don't know if this is an animation continuity error, or a total fuck-up on their part!
Jerrica freaks.
"Where are my earrings?! They were just here!"
Girl, this was the last gift you got from your father. And this is also the big thing riding on Starlight Music's success and helping keep your head above water. And you managed to lose them? *sigh*
So Jerrica and the rest of the Holograms have the unfortunate task of informing the Chinese officials that Jem isn't able to perform........seriously? This is why Jerrica relies on Synergy too much. Is it really that hard to slap on a pink wig and some pink eyeshadow? That's all it takes for Miley Stewart to become Hannah Montana, I'm just sayin'.
Doesn't matter. The Misfits are ready to take over the show. Ugh.
As if things couldn't get any worse...
Rio shows up, very surprised to see Jerrica there and NO Jem. And the concert's about to start, too! Rio wants to know what's up, so Jerrica tells him.
.....That Jem is unable to perform.
....And that's it.
Seriously, Jerrica? You're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Now would've been a good time to just tell Rio the damn truth already! But she just tells Rio that Jem can't perform today. Rio freaks: "Doesn't she realize how important this is?! Does she realize how much red tape we had to go through to be allowed to perform here?! All this way to China for NOTHING?!!!"
Of course, Jerrica doesn't want to talk about it. (WHAT A FLAKE.) She and the rest of the Holograms just leave Rio there, and tell him they'll see him at the concert at the Great Wall, since I guess the Misfits are playing there now. Rio's all, "I wish someone would tell me what's going on." I wish someone would tell you, too, Rio.
Jerrica and the Holograms are swallowing their pride and watching the Misfits perform their concert. Then Jerrica notices something:
TRIFLIN', THIEVIN' BITCHES.
After the show, the Misfits are in a good mood and thrilled that they got one over on Jem and the Holograms. Then comes another showdown between them and Jerrica and the Holograms on a bridge.
Jerrica requests the earrings back. She honestly thought it would be that easy? HA. Pizzazz takes her earrings off and starts playing keep-away with 'em, tossing them to Roxy. They then jump in a rickshaw and ride off. Jerrica and the Holograms jump in another rickshaw and chase them down.
Let's see, we're about six and a half minutes in, it's kind of late for a music video at this point, so let's throw one in:
How on Earth can Pizzazz run around in a dress like this? And how ironic that the Misfits are the ones singing a song about how "they can't catch them" when the Misfits seem to always be the ones following Jem and the Holograms wherever they go, just trying to find ways to sabotage things for them. Why are you so obsessed with them?!
After the music video, Jerrica and the Holograms have chased the Misfits onto a ski lift. And have also had the time to change into a different set of clothing in the middle of all of that. Crappy animation continuity, I salute thee! Then when the Misfits get out of their lift car, they do what they know best: tampering with control booths!
We all know how well this turned out in the first episode: Jem nearly fell off a yacht because of this shit. So what's going on for Jerrica and the Holograms?
Jerrica's hair got pretty long in that first pic!
After they get off in one piece, they cross some Chinese guys practicing kung fu, and Kimber could've sworn she saw the Misfits come this way. Yeah, it's hard to find three bitches with bright green, blue and white hair amongst a bunch of bald men.
Not much later on, Aja is scaling some terrain to try to get at the Misfits (why, I have no idea...I'm suspecting a scene was deleted somewhere in here), and nearly falls in the process. She knocks down a big statue, which nearly crushes Jerrica, Kimber and Shana.
Then the Misfits hop a train to escape Jerrica and the Holograms. And once again, they find the time to change into their regular clothes as well.
They're gloating about their victory when Jerrica and the Holograms ambush them on the traincar. The Misfits make their daring escape.
And Pizzazz, Roxy and Stormer all throw their respected pairs of earrings out the traincar's windows.
One pair falls into a buggy, one pair falls in an archaeological dig, and another pair falls into some trash containers.
It's that time again.
It's a Jem music video without Jem. How ironic.
It's funny how the one Chinese guy who bought the earrings at auction actually thinks they're made of real rubies. But oh well.
And in a little house outside of Beijing, a garbage-picking man gives his daughter Lin a present.
They're earrings just like Jem's! She'll probably take better care of them than Jerrica did.
Well, Jem and the Holograms have pretty much blown this tour, so Jerrica and the gang decide to just head back to the hotel. (And 'fess up to Rio, right Jerrica?......RIGHT?!) But Aja wants to pick up a magazine so she can brush up on her Chinese. And lo and behold, they find a picture of the earrings in the magazine!
Aja reads an address under the picture, so they go and discover it's a mass-production place. Great. LOTS of fakes. One of the workers says that if they want to see the originals, the manager has them in his office. They see the manager, and he tells them that the earrings have become his most popular items. (So soon?! It's only been a day, though!) The manager lets Jerrica have them back, since they have already brought his much wealth. *snicker*
So outside in the middle of Beijing...not even trying to hide...Jerrica puts the earrings on, fiddles with them, and says, "Don't have a cow, man Showtime, Synergy."
.......................Nothing. Guess they have to let the officials know they can't do the concert tomorrow. The concert's tomorrow? So what was that show they were supposed to do in a half hour at the beginning of the episode? And what was that concert the Misfits took over for while wearing the earrings? DID I MISS SOMETHING?!! I feel just as confused as Rio.
But before they leave, Aja wants to see some ancient Chinese art. Let's put off telling the officials important information as much as we can just as long as Aja gets to see some ancient art. THIS MAKES SENSE.
As they enter the ancient Ming Dynasty exhibit, Aja explains it for a bit. And I love how at times Aja can sound completely like a normal American, and at times she's got this horrible half-assed Asian-sounding accent. Pay attention to it. Kimber says "Outrageous" again. (Take a drink.) And low and behold, they find another pair of Jemstar earrings in the exhibit! I find it kind of a stretch that something that obviously does not look like it was from the Ming Dynasty made it into this exhibit. So what does Jerrica do? She just swipes the earrings. BAD IDEA. You're a good girl, you can't get away with this shit. Only the Misfits can get away with stuff like this.
Jerrica tries telling the guards that those earrings are hers, but they're not buying it.
After the commercial break, Rio is still waiting with the officials in charge of the Great Wall concert that I thought already happened....whatever. If Jem and the Holograms aren't there in the next few minutes, they'll have to cancel the show. The Misfits are still hanging around like vultures. Rio just gives them the stink eye and worries about where Jem and the rest of the group (and his own girlfriend, I presume) are.
Back at the museum, Jerrica and the Holograms are being apprehended. Aja pleads with them that they wouldn't have tried to take them if they didn't think they were theirs. (That sentence just reads weird. But I'm too confused to go back and correct the mechanics of it.) The curator just happens to be there, by chance. So he inspects the earrings, and OF COURSE they were manufactured in this century!
Considering they were just made....oh, I dunno....a DAY ago, I can't imagine HOW these babies made their way into the exhibit in the first place! Don't these archaeologists and curators do their fucking homework?! And they're CHINESE, to boot! Isn't the stereotype that Asians are supposedly....oh, I dunno.....SMART?!! But the curator doesn't know how this mistake was made, so he lets Jerrica have the dumb earrings.
"This is highly undignified!" But you know he likes it.
They say "outrageous" again. Take another drink. And the curator asks for their autographs. It's all good for Shana and Aja and Kimber, but JEM'S NOT THERE TO GIVE AN AUTOGRAPH. Could this be the episode in which Jem has the least screentime?!
Outside the museum, Jerrica puts this pair of earrings on, fiddles around with them, and says, "Turtle Power! Showtime, Synergy!"
................Nothing. *sigh* Oh well. Now they really have nothing stopping them from telling the officials. And they were supposed to be there in "a few minutes" before they had to concede and let the Misfits take the stage instead. And would it really be a bad thing? Really? Just bite the bullet and let the Misfits go on. It's not the end of the freaking world! It's like how I used to watch old "Tom and Jerry" cartoons when I was a kid, and sometimes I'd wish Tom would just catch that damn mouse because it's essentially the same cartoon over and over.
They arrive at the venue by the Great Wall, and Jerrica decides she'll be the one to break the news when a group of older boys start bullying a little girl. It's Lin, from earlier.
Jerrica doesn't like seeing this, so she goes over to stop them. But that's okay, Lin is Chinese and knows kung-fu, so she is properly able to defend herself without having to use Mace. (Bad stereotypes, how I love thee!) Jerrica tells Lin she was very brave to defend herself like that. Lin tells her the boys were bullying her for her good luck charms:
Kimber's all, "Oh no, another pair of duds." Jerrica tells Kimber to hush her mouth; they mean a lot to Lin. Lin asks if she's here to see Jem and the Holograms in concert. Jerrica tells her she's with them (HA HA, she IS Jem), but Jem has "had an unfortunate stroke of luck and won't be able to perform." So Lin does a very noble thing and gives her earrings to Jerrica to give to Jem. Maybe her earrings will bring Jem as much luck as they did for Lin. (Who's only had them a whole day. How much luck can you have in a day?)
Well, it was a nice gesture, even if they're more than likely a pair of those mass-produced knock-offs. Jerrica tells Lin that her dad gave her a similar pair of earrings, so she knows how special they must mean to her.
Awww. A Hallmark moment.
Elsewhere backstage, the Misfits are gloating about how they're going to do this show. Rio's pacing in the background. It's like they're intentionally trying to get Rio riled up. Which is what he does best, anyway. (Get riled up.) Pizzazz sees that he's upset, so she tries to put the moves on him.
Bah, silly Pizzazz, you just don't learn, do you? Rio can't stand you. Especially that clown-ish getup you think is sexy.
Outside, the audience is chanting "WE WANT JEM! WE WANT JEM!" Wow, they'll be disappointed when the Misfits come out onstage instead. The officials reluctantly agree to just let the Misfits do the damn show. Backstage, Jerrica's putting the earrings on and getting snippy with Kimber, telling her that if she knew for sure these earrings weren't just another copy, she'd contact Synergy and have Jem herself thank Lin in person.
Then it happens. ".....What are you talking about, Jerrica?" THAT VOICE.
HOLY SCHNIKES, Lin had the real pair of earrings the whole time?!!! Jerrica's able to be Jem again! And now they can do the show!
Rio's trying to reason with the officials to NOT let the Misfits go on (hey, at least he tried), when Jem and the Holograms show up. The Misfits are pissed. Everyone else is happy. Time for the final music video, in which Jem dedicates the song to her special friend, who truly knows what giving means. (I think she means Lin.)
Time for the last music video for this episode.
How many times can they shove the words "love," "share" and "care" in a Jem and the Holograms song?
After the show, the Chinese officials congratulate Jem and the Holograms for the wonderful show, and let them know they are welcome back whenever they choose. Jem then sees Lin waiting for an autograph, so she goes over to see her and thanks her for the earrings. And she gives Lin a pair of the knock-off ones. Well, it's the thought that counts.
"Outrageous" count: four
How many times did Jerrica transform into Jem this episode: Once.
Did Rio and Jem have the final kiss? No.
Did Jerrica tell Rio the truth? No.
Oh well. Thanks for reading!
PS--Hey Jerrica, you might want to invest in these, in case of another emergency like this:
And I will link to xsparkage again:
This isn't that hard. Why does Jerrica have to make things so hard on herself?! (Because she's a blonde? *lol, j/k*)
...and sit back! CUE THE THEME SONG!
Click to viewToday's episode: "Adventures in China." Also known as "The Worst Possible Thing Happens to Jem." You'll see why.
This episode opens with Jem and the Holograms (and Rio, too) on a plane trip to China for the last show of their tour. Rio reminds Jem that she was lucky the Chinese government allowed her to perform. "I just wish Jerrica were with us," he whines.
("I miss Jerrica....but hey Jem, since you're here, wanna join the Mile High Club?")
SEE?! He thinks about his girlfriend. Jem reassures him that Jerrica will be arriving shortly. *ha* Liar.
Meanwhile...I don't know if it's on the same flight, or on another plane following Jem and the Holograms (I'm assuming it's another, cheaper flight because Eric Raymond is a cheap bastard) is the Misfits. Of course. Roxy's absorbed in her Walkman (remember those?!!)...
...and Eric asks her if she wants to see the view. Roxy's all, "Pshaw, it's just a giant wall."
Just because the Misfits are the "bad girls" doesn't mean they can't at least try to be a little cultured. *sigh* Roxy whines that Jem and the Holograms are the ones doing the concert and the Misfits are just doing a second-rate tour. Bitch, bitch, bitch. You're TOURING. Have fun with it! Quit complaining! What, like Misfits' fans aren't coming out in droves for you ladies? At least Eric got the Misfits booked into China, which wasn't easy.
Not even a minute in, and there's not enough Pizzazz. Damn.
So Jem and the Holograms land in China.
Fans are going nuts. Aja says, "This is wild!" Kimber says, "Outrageous!" (Take a drink.) So what about the Misfits? Well, they got this:
Pizzazz is pissed, and bitches to Eric, "Couldn't you have paid to have given us a flashier reception? Jem and the Holograms have totally upstaged us!" Come on, like they even know you're in China...do they?
Time to go through customs. All the rest of the Holograms take off their jewelry and stuff....except for Jem, of course.
WARNING! WARNING! WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! TAKE OFF YOUR EARRINGS, BIMBO!
Of course, this is a major problem for Jem. The Chinese officials are ordering her to take her earrings off and go through the metal detector again. Jem refuses. Really, Jem, this is dumb. Can't you just take the earrings off for a minute, have the Jem-hologram going from where it is, and walk through the metal detector? Or, I dunno, you could've just made the trip as Jerrica and NOT as Jem. But no, that would make too much sense.
One of the Chinese ambassadors tells the officer to just lay off Jem and quit embarrassing her. I guess it's because she's an "honored guest."
So she can get away with it because she's Jem? EFF THAT. In today's post 9/11-world, she would NOT be allowed to go through customs without taking off her earrings and just waltz through with no questions asked. How do we know she doesn't have an elaborate bomb in her earrings? Hmm? Jem would be labeled a freaking TERRORIST. If everyone has to submit to the new body-screening devices, there are no exceptions. ZERO TOLERANCE, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!
But whatever. Have a nice stay in China!
I guess the Misfits saw what happened (even though they were no where in that scene), and Eric and the Misfits wonders why Jem wouldn't take her earrings off. Roxy remarks, "They must be super-important to her. If she freaked out over going through customs..."
Yep. Eric just got a great idea. Somewhere, Kristy Thomas is angry that she didn't think of it first. Eric orders their limo driver to take them to the nearest jewelry store.
Later on, the Holograms are relaxing in a nice mineral bath before their show.
Kimber urges Jem to join them. And NOW Jem decides to take off her freaking earrings, because she's afraid the mineral water will short them out. She just places them in a random place...doesn't put them in a plastic baggy or a box or stow them under her robe or anything. Just. Puts. Them. Down. And then she disrobes.
SEXAY. She then goes into the pool for a little bit. Kimber warns her to enjoy it while she can, because the concert starts in about a half hour. Keep this in mind. A HALF HOUR.
Then Roxy sneaks in and snatches Jerrica's earrings. You knew it was going to happen.
Jem then decides she wants to get started early rehearsing, so she gets out of the tub to go to their dressing room. And then it happens.
She reverts back to being Jerrica. FULLY CLOTHED. She went into the pool wearing only a bathing suit as Jem, but she comes out in a full outfit that somehow isn't dripping wet. THIS MAKES SENSE. Let's applaud the animators for taking this into consideration! I don't know if this is an animation continuity error, or a total fuck-up on their part!
Jerrica freaks.
"Where are my earrings?! They were just here!"
Girl, this was the last gift you got from your father. And this is also the big thing riding on Starlight Music's success and helping keep your head above water. And you managed to lose them? *sigh*
So Jerrica and the rest of the Holograms have the unfortunate task of informing the Chinese officials that Jem isn't able to perform........seriously? This is why Jerrica relies on Synergy too much. Is it really that hard to slap on a pink wig and some pink eyeshadow? That's all it takes for Miley Stewart to become Hannah Montana, I'm just sayin'.
Doesn't matter. The Misfits are ready to take over the show. Ugh.
As if things couldn't get any worse...
Rio shows up, very surprised to see Jerrica there and NO Jem. And the concert's about to start, too! Rio wants to know what's up, so Jerrica tells him.
.....That Jem is unable to perform.
....And that's it.
Seriously, Jerrica? You're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Now would've been a good time to just tell Rio the damn truth already! But she just tells Rio that Jem can't perform today. Rio freaks: "Doesn't she realize how important this is?! Does she realize how much red tape we had to go through to be allowed to perform here?! All this way to China for NOTHING?!!!"
Of course, Jerrica doesn't want to talk about it. (WHAT A FLAKE.) She and the rest of the Holograms just leave Rio there, and tell him they'll see him at the concert at the Great Wall, since I guess the Misfits are playing there now. Rio's all, "I wish someone would tell me what's going on." I wish someone would tell you, too, Rio.
Jerrica and the Holograms are swallowing their pride and watching the Misfits perform their concert. Then Jerrica notices something:
TRIFLIN', THIEVIN' BITCHES.
After the show, the Misfits are in a good mood and thrilled that they got one over on Jem and the Holograms. Then comes another showdown between them and Jerrica and the Holograms on a bridge.
Jerrica requests the earrings back. She honestly thought it would be that easy? HA. Pizzazz takes her earrings off and starts playing keep-away with 'em, tossing them to Roxy. They then jump in a rickshaw and ride off. Jerrica and the Holograms jump in another rickshaw and chase them down.
Let's see, we're about six and a half minutes in, it's kind of late for a music video at this point, so let's throw one in:
How on Earth can Pizzazz run around in a dress like this? And how ironic that the Misfits are the ones singing a song about how "they can't catch them" when the Misfits seem to always be the ones following Jem and the Holograms wherever they go, just trying to find ways to sabotage things for them. Why are you so obsessed with them?!
After the music video, Jerrica and the Holograms have chased the Misfits onto a ski lift. And have also had the time to change into a different set of clothing in the middle of all of that. Crappy animation continuity, I salute thee! Then when the Misfits get out of their lift car, they do what they know best: tampering with control booths!
We all know how well this turned out in the first episode: Jem nearly fell off a yacht because of this shit. So what's going on for Jerrica and the Holograms?
Jerrica's hair got pretty long in that first pic!
After they get off in one piece, they cross some Chinese guys practicing kung fu, and Kimber could've sworn she saw the Misfits come this way. Yeah, it's hard to find three bitches with bright green, blue and white hair amongst a bunch of bald men.
Not much later on, Aja is scaling some terrain to try to get at the Misfits (why, I have no idea...I'm suspecting a scene was deleted somewhere in here), and nearly falls in the process. She knocks down a big statue, which nearly crushes Jerrica, Kimber and Shana.
Then the Misfits hop a train to escape Jerrica and the Holograms. And once again, they find the time to change into their regular clothes as well.
They're gloating about their victory when Jerrica and the Holograms ambush them on the traincar. The Misfits make their daring escape.
And Pizzazz, Roxy and Stormer all throw their respected pairs of earrings out the traincar's windows.
One pair falls into a buggy, one pair falls in an archaeological dig, and another pair falls into some trash containers.
It's that time again.
It's a Jem music video without Jem. How ironic.
It's funny how the one Chinese guy who bought the earrings at auction actually thinks they're made of real rubies. But oh well.
And in a little house outside of Beijing, a garbage-picking man gives his daughter Lin a present.
They're earrings just like Jem's! She'll probably take better care of them than Jerrica did.
Well, Jem and the Holograms have pretty much blown this tour, so Jerrica and the gang decide to just head back to the hotel. (And 'fess up to Rio, right Jerrica?......RIGHT?!) But Aja wants to pick up a magazine so she can brush up on her Chinese. And lo and behold, they find a picture of the earrings in the magazine!
Aja reads an address under the picture, so they go and discover it's a mass-production place. Great. LOTS of fakes. One of the workers says that if they want to see the originals, the manager has them in his office. They see the manager, and he tells them that the earrings have become his most popular items. (So soon?! It's only been a day, though!) The manager lets Jerrica have them back, since they have already brought his much wealth. *snicker*
So outside in the middle of Beijing...not even trying to hide...Jerrica puts the earrings on, fiddles with them, and says, "Don't have a cow, man Showtime, Synergy."
.......................Nothing. Guess they have to let the officials know they can't do the concert tomorrow. The concert's tomorrow? So what was that show they were supposed to do in a half hour at the beginning of the episode? And what was that concert the Misfits took over for while wearing the earrings? DID I MISS SOMETHING?!! I feel just as confused as Rio.
But before they leave, Aja wants to see some ancient Chinese art. Let's put off telling the officials important information as much as we can just as long as Aja gets to see some ancient art. THIS MAKES SENSE.
As they enter the ancient Ming Dynasty exhibit, Aja explains it for a bit. And I love how at times Aja can sound completely like a normal American, and at times she's got this horrible half-assed Asian-sounding accent. Pay attention to it. Kimber says "Outrageous" again. (Take a drink.) And low and behold, they find another pair of Jemstar earrings in the exhibit! I find it kind of a stretch that something that obviously does not look like it was from the Ming Dynasty made it into this exhibit. So what does Jerrica do? She just swipes the earrings. BAD IDEA. You're a good girl, you can't get away with this shit. Only the Misfits can get away with stuff like this.
Jerrica tries telling the guards that those earrings are hers, but they're not buying it.
After the commercial break, Rio is still waiting with the officials in charge of the Great Wall concert that I thought already happened....whatever. If Jem and the Holograms aren't there in the next few minutes, they'll have to cancel the show. The Misfits are still hanging around like vultures. Rio just gives them the stink eye and worries about where Jem and the rest of the group (and his own girlfriend, I presume) are.
Back at the museum, Jerrica and the Holograms are being apprehended. Aja pleads with them that they wouldn't have tried to take them if they didn't think they were theirs. (That sentence just reads weird. But I'm too confused to go back and correct the mechanics of it.) The curator just happens to be there, by chance. So he inspects the earrings, and OF COURSE they were manufactured in this century!
Considering they were just made....oh, I dunno....a DAY ago, I can't imagine HOW these babies made their way into the exhibit in the first place! Don't these archaeologists and curators do their fucking homework?! And they're CHINESE, to boot! Isn't the stereotype that Asians are supposedly....oh, I dunno.....SMART?!! But the curator doesn't know how this mistake was made, so he lets Jerrica have the dumb earrings.
"This is highly undignified!" But you know he likes it.
They say "outrageous" again. Take another drink. And the curator asks for their autographs. It's all good for Shana and Aja and Kimber, but JEM'S NOT THERE TO GIVE AN AUTOGRAPH. Could this be the episode in which Jem has the least screentime?!
Outside the museum, Jerrica puts this pair of earrings on, fiddles around with them, and says, "Turtle Power! Showtime, Synergy!"
................Nothing. *sigh* Oh well. Now they really have nothing stopping them from telling the officials. And they were supposed to be there in "a few minutes" before they had to concede and let the Misfits take the stage instead. And would it really be a bad thing? Really? Just bite the bullet and let the Misfits go on. It's not the end of the freaking world! It's like how I used to watch old "Tom and Jerry" cartoons when I was a kid, and sometimes I'd wish Tom would just catch that damn mouse because it's essentially the same cartoon over and over.
They arrive at the venue by the Great Wall, and Jerrica decides she'll be the one to break the news when a group of older boys start bullying a little girl. It's Lin, from earlier.
Jerrica doesn't like seeing this, so she goes over to stop them. But that's okay, Lin is Chinese and knows kung-fu, so she is properly able to defend herself without having to use Mace. (Bad stereotypes, how I love thee!) Jerrica tells Lin she was very brave to defend herself like that. Lin tells her the boys were bullying her for her good luck charms:
Kimber's all, "Oh no, another pair of duds." Jerrica tells Kimber to hush her mouth; they mean a lot to Lin. Lin asks if she's here to see Jem and the Holograms in concert. Jerrica tells her she's with them (HA HA, she IS Jem), but Jem has "had an unfortunate stroke of luck and won't be able to perform." So Lin does a very noble thing and gives her earrings to Jerrica to give to Jem. Maybe her earrings will bring Jem as much luck as they did for Lin. (Who's only had them a whole day. How much luck can you have in a day?)
Well, it was a nice gesture, even if they're more than likely a pair of those mass-produced knock-offs. Jerrica tells Lin that her dad gave her a similar pair of earrings, so she knows how special they must mean to her.
Awww. A Hallmark moment.
Elsewhere backstage, the Misfits are gloating about how they're going to do this show. Rio's pacing in the background. It's like they're intentionally trying to get Rio riled up. Which is what he does best, anyway. (Get riled up.) Pizzazz sees that he's upset, so she tries to put the moves on him.
Bah, silly Pizzazz, you just don't learn, do you? Rio can't stand you. Especially that clown-ish getup you think is sexy.
Outside, the audience is chanting "WE WANT JEM! WE WANT JEM!" Wow, they'll be disappointed when the Misfits come out onstage instead. The officials reluctantly agree to just let the Misfits do the damn show. Backstage, Jerrica's putting the earrings on and getting snippy with Kimber, telling her that if she knew for sure these earrings weren't just another copy, she'd contact Synergy and have Jem herself thank Lin in person.
Then it happens. ".....What are you talking about, Jerrica?" THAT VOICE.
HOLY SCHNIKES, Lin had the real pair of earrings the whole time?!!! Jerrica's able to be Jem again! And now they can do the show!
Rio's trying to reason with the officials to NOT let the Misfits go on (hey, at least he tried), when Jem and the Holograms show up. The Misfits are pissed. Everyone else is happy. Time for the final music video, in which Jem dedicates the song to her special friend, who truly knows what giving means. (I think she means Lin.)
Time for the last music video for this episode.
How many times can they shove the words "love," "share" and "care" in a Jem and the Holograms song?
After the show, the Chinese officials congratulate Jem and the Holograms for the wonderful show, and let them know they are welcome back whenever they choose. Jem then sees Lin waiting for an autograph, so she goes over to see her and thanks her for the earrings. And she gives Lin a pair of the knock-off ones. Well, it's the thought that counts.
"Outrageous" count: four
How many times did Jerrica transform into Jem this episode: Once.
Did Rio and Jem have the final kiss? No.
Did Jerrica tell Rio the truth? No.
Oh well. Thanks for reading!
PS--Hey Jerrica, you might want to invest in these, in case of another emergency like this:
And I will link to xsparkage again:
This isn't that hard. Why does Jerrica have to make things so hard on herself?! (Because she's a blonde? *lol, j/k*)