told you I was going to do more "Jem" snark
Do I need to include the theme song with every snark?
..........YES. Now run, grab some cookies and milk, and plop your butt in front of the computer. It's time for "Jem"!
Today's episode: "In Stitches." It's a fashion-centric episode, so things are going to be all sorts of........
FI-ERCE!
The episode opens with all of the Starlight Girls downstairs at the mansion with Aja, doing something...gambling, maybe. Or watching Jerrica and Rio have another fight. But that's not important. What's important is that Ashley is upstairs with Shana, wanting her advice on designing clothes. WOW. This is a major change in defiant, petulant Ashley from the first five episodes!
Shana tells Ashley to start with stick figures, and then to use colored markers to hang clothes from the figure. LOLWAT? Okay, Shana. Here is a Jem-fashion I did using the Shana Method:
Beautiful. Stunning. Flawless. Outrageous.
Kimber interrupts their Kodak moment to tell them that Lin-Z Pierce's show is on. And they rush downstairs to watch, since this is 1986 and they can't just YouTube it later. Well, Shana rushes downstairs. Ashley stays and starts working on her craft.
Downstairs on "The Lin-Z Pierce Show," she talks about how Tony Casini is staging an "awesome rock fashion competition." It's by invitation only, and it'll be held in Venice. "As in, Italy." (Man, Lin-Z Pierce just makes this sound weird.) The winner will be featured in Casini's music video. He hasn't chosen the American contestants yet, but RUMORS ABOUND that it's between the Limp Lizards...
(Huh? Who?)
...the Misfits...
Of course.
....and Jem and the Holograms.
(But they just couldn't get a pic of the WHOLE BAND. Once again, it's always just about JEM.)
And Lin-Z has Tony Casini on tonight to make the announcement. He goes on about how hard it was to make the decision, with "the youth and the vibrancy of today's rock fashions." And he REALLY can't choose between the Misfits or Jem and the Holograms. (BUT WHAT ABOUT THE LIMP LIZARDS?!) So he just decides to invite them both.
RAISE THE ROOF! We're going to Venice, baby!
But this does not bode well with the Misfits.
Pizzazz is all, "How could they tie with us when we have a professional designer?" Oh, must be nice to have a rich daddy, Pizzazz. Roxy figures since Shana's an amateur, they might as well get her shaken up under the pressure.
Right as Lin-Z's pointing out that Shana is the only one who is a performer AND a designer, the phone call from Roxy comes to the Starlight Mansion, bragging that they have Bobby Stark doing their designs. Well, good for you, pin a rose on your nose. And Pizzazz crows over the phone, "You're just a potato sack seamstress for a bunch of orphans." Wow, that was way harsh, Pizzazz.
As Shana hangs up on them and goes back to her room, Ashley stops her to show off her stick-figure art. Shana doesn't really have time. She has bigger things to worry about.
Back in her room/designing area, Shana's scribbling on her pad and bunching paper up and throwing it all over, all frustrated that she let Roxy bother her. Aja, Kimber and Jerrica enter the room to tell her to go to bed and that they have an early flight to VENICE. Yeah, right. They do the "good friend" thing and try to boost her confidence. Which, you know, is code for MUSIC VIDEO TIME.
Why does Jerrica wear makeup to bed?
This is one of the most lolzy videos EVER. If Jerrica seriously needs to transform into Jem in the middle of the night to sing and dance, she has some problems. But the muses essentially play dress-up to inspire and encourage Shana. And it works, I guess. By the time morning rolls around, Shana's got a slew of designs done and in her tubular case. As she's bugging people, "Don't forget your shoes!", her designs get mysteriously replaced. IS THIS WORK OF THE MISFITS?!
So Jem and the Holograms board their plane and head to Venice with seemingly no difficulty. Then halfway through the flight, during a storm, Jem gets up to go to the bathroom.....and it happens.
She does NOT start her period, but Synergy starts shorting out on her and she reverts back to being plain-Jane Jerrica. Wearing one of those goofy hats that we must've thought were fashionable back in the 80s. Oh well. Lady Gaga's making hats fashionable again.
Jerrica's all, "WTF, Synergy?! 'Jerrica' is supposed to be in New York!" So THAT'S the lie you told?
Synergy tells Jerrica that she's experiencing some satellite interference. So Jerrica spends the rest of the freaking flight in the bathroom until the interference has passed. I LOVE IT. I wish more shit like this would've happened to Jerrica through the series. And what if the interference hadn't passed by the time the plane landed in Italy? What then?!
They're on their way to the Countess du Voison's Italian villa when a random gondola operator tells them they are to take a certain gondola.
And here we have more of Aja wearing orange:
Take a drink everytime you see Aja wearing orange. It's that blue-orange contrast thing again. What has been seen cannot be unseen.
A familiar-sounding dude wearing white tells the "paisan" to take the chicks while he takes the luggage. LOL, oh, Zipper, we know it's you. And we also know how you botch things up, so I'm waiting to see how this turns out.
We commence with more bad Italian accents as Jem and the Holograms get on the gondola. Well, Jem, Kimber and Aja do. Shana decides she'll ride with the wardrobe. The gondola operator is going on about how "bellisima" Venice is with it's merchant princes, and blah blah blah. Okay Jem, any moment you want to rip your clothes off and writhe all over the gondola is fine with me. Because we know you want to. You make us feel shiny and new. Yeah, you maaaake us feel shiny and new.....
Shana asks her gondola operator to try to catch up with the rest of the group, when she realizes it's Zipper (duh). He's all, "SHIT, she found me out! Well, time to ruin things!" and grabs her design portfolio and jumps from gondola to gondola, leaving Shana all alone.
Then the Misfits show up in a speedboat. Zipper jumps in, the portfolio tube smacks the gearshift, and Pizzazz loses control of the boat. And it's about to crash smack dab into the gondola Shana's in. See? Told you Zipper would botch this up. Time for a commercial break anyway.
BUY ME TOYS!!!!
I know I had a Lots-O-Huggin Bear back when I was a kid. He reeked of strawberries! (TEN MORE DAYS TILL TOY STORY 3!!)
Back to the show. The Misfits narrowly avoid colliding with Shana's gondola, but they manage to overturn it anyway (not on purpose, though!), and Shana falls out.
Gurl is PISSED. Not only did her designs get stolen and they've lost their shoes and accessories, but now her hair is going to be hella frizzy.
They arrive at the Countess' place, and Shana explains what happens to the Countess. She tells Shana that, well, haters are just gonna hate and do mean things and shit on your parade. But in classier terms. Then Gilligan from "Gilligan's Island" arrives with the wardrobe trunk full of the Holograms' accessories and junk. Then the trunk talks! "OW! HANDLE WITH CARE!" .....what?!
They open the trunk and guess who they find inside?
I find it amazing that Ashley was able to survive in the trunk with no breathing holes, AND after the trunk fell out of the gondola into the river. THIS MAKES NO SENSE. And isn't this the SECOND time we've seen Ashley locked away in a trunk in the whole series? It's official: take a drink every time Ashley's locked in a trunk! But the funny part is.....Ashley switched portfolios! Those are her designs in the one Zipper stole! She had Shana's portfolio with her in the trunk the whole time. Ashley's all, "Someone stole my designs? Well, I knew they were good!" Keep telling yourself that, hon.
Meanwhile, at the place the Misfits are crashing at, the Misfits and the seamstresses are laughing their asses off over "Shana's" designs.
"LOL, you paid Zipper for this shit? FAIL, Eric." My thoughts exactly, Pizzazz.
And it looks like the Misfits' go-to designer Bobby Stark got a toothache and can't make it to do their dirty work. Now the Misfits are up shit creek, so what are they going to do?
Back at the Countess' place, there's a mini-montage of Shana getting the Holograms' designs taken care of. The next day, they go shopping for new shoes and accessories since the ones in the trunk were ruined.
Oh, the shoe lovers' paradise. Ashley's going on about "you can have any kind of feet you want with shoes. Shoes to run in, shoes to dance in...."
And guess who crashes the shoe store to finish up this sentiment?
"SHOES TO WALK ALL OVER YOU IN!"
Sounds like it's time for another music video.
Yeah, bow down, bitches. It's the Misfits, bein' awesome. Come in, trash the joint, take what you want, and leave. Ta-ta!
Back at the Countess', Zipper breaks in and steals the outfits that Shana has worked her ass off to make. Ah, going the route of Los Guerreros, are we?
I MISS EDDIE GUERRERO SFM, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
As Zipper's stealing stuff, he heard Jem telling Shana, "The Misfits are always hostile, ignore them." And he quickly gets out of there before they all come in. They walk in to see that the costumes are gone. Shana's all, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT GARBAGE." So that night, they go to take care of some business.
They arrive by gondola at Eric's villa and spy some seamstresses being let in by Eric, who bitches, "I asked for five seamstresses, why are there only four?" How convenient. Now Jem knows what she can do: rely on Synergy to help them out, as always.
She fiddles with her earring and asks Synergy to transform her into an Italian seamstress so she can just waltz in there without having to be sneaky. And it works. Inside, Jem spies on the seamstresses working diligently on the Misfits' frocks when Zipper presents the outfits Shana just finished to the Misfits. They're all, "Oooooooooooh! GIMME!"
And then they're all, "EW, too pretty!"
Pizzazz snatches the other ones from Stormer and Roxy, and plunks them down in seamstress-Jem's lap and orders her to go dye 'em black. Seamstress-Jem is leaving the regular way she came in when Roxy tells her to use the servants' stairs. So she does, transforms back into Jem, and sneaks out when Eric catches her in the act and is about ready to kill her. The Misfits storm out and are chasing Jem and the Holograms over to a bridge where they get into a tug-of-war fight over fucking CLOTHES. Somehow, the Misfits go over the edge of the bridge, hanging on for dear life onto the clothes, when they rip in half. The Misfits fall and a motorboat comes to rescue them. All except for Roxy, who falls into the water. (FAIL.) Aja and Kimber yell at them, "Hope your satisfied! All for clothes, and now NO one has any!" The Misfits snicker, "Yeah, we'll see about that!"
Jem and the Holograms are surely up the creek without a paddle now, right? WRONG! Synergy has Shana's designs saved in her memory! RIGHT CLICK SAVE THE DAY!
Now to get back to the Countess'. There are no motorboats, but Tito says he can row like mad. Do any of them have any money? Nope. They try bargaining with Tito, but they're just wasting time, and time is running out.
Hmmm...yeah. About time for the last music vid of this episode:
HOLY CRAP, IS THIS RIO'S ONLY APPEARANCE IN THIS EPISODE?!! He didn't even go with them to Venice! And did they seriously stop in the middle of their "time is running out" spiel to DANCE and SING for people?! YES THEY DID.
But hey, their singing and dancing raised them enough money to get them their gondola. Tito is rich now! And they make it to the fashion show with NOTHING. The coordinator tells them they go on last, so go get cleaned up and pretty.
Guess who shows up, lookin' all fly and shit?
Triflin', thievin' bitches. What I want to know is how on Earth they made this happen. I mean, they just got their hands on the outfits that Zipper ripped off from Jem and the Holograms and only had them minutes before they were ruined. Soooo....how'd the Misfits' seamstresses whip up these babies so quickly before the actual fashion show?
BUT WAIT, AS KIDS, WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO QUESTION THESE THINGS. Silly me!
What are Jem and the Holograms going to do now?! The Misfits have jacked their swagger AND made it look better, and they have no time or material to whip anything up now. (Not like the Misfits did, either, but like I said...)
Wait a minute, I'm stupid. Who do Jem and the Holograms rely on to get them out of any mess? SYNERGY, OF COURSE! Synergy can just put holograms of Shana's costumes over the girls like she does with Jerrica, DUH! I wish I had a pair of Jemstar earrings, too. Then I wouldn't bother with ever wearing clothes. EVER. Walk around naked all the time. YEAH! *pumps fist*
So then it's presentation time. The Misfits get to model their revamped stuff, and everyone eats it up.
"WE'RE MODELS!"
Once again, Synergy saves the day for Jem and the Holograms...
...for a minute. IT HAPPENS AGAIN.
Synergy has interference. NO fashions. They're standing around half-nekkid (why aren't they wearing regular bras and panties?!), and Jem has reverted back to being JERRICA. They're all, "FML!!!"
THEN Synergy decides to work properly again. Maybe they shouldn't rely on Synergy so much...
YAY!
The ranking....third place: some band from Japan that look like geishas. Bad stereotyping, I see what you did thar.
Second place: THE MISFITS. (HA! NOT FIRST!)
First place: Jem and the Holograms. (Of course!)
Then Countess du Voison alerts Tony Cassino that Shana designed the Misfits' fashions as well. Give credit where credit is definitely due. So Shana will get TWO credits.
WHY TWO CREDITS?!! WHY IS HE EVEN BOTHERING TO INCLUDE THE MISFITS?! THEY DIDN'T EVEN COME IN FIRST PLACE!! Pizzazz bitches, "It was MY idea to make 'em black!" (Ha ha, reminds me of in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion when they're making up their story about how they got rich off of inventing Post-Its, and Romy takes credit for practically the same thing but tells Michele, "It was your idea to make 'em yellow.") But whatever, Pizzazz, you didn't make them. Shana gets the credit.
What an anticlimactic ending. I feel like this episode was missing something. It's the lack of Rio being a pissy-pants and macking on Jem, I'm sure. It just isn't an episode of "Jem" without Rio getting to kiss Jem in the end.
"Outrageous" count: one
Aja blue-orange contrast count: one
How many times did Jerrica transform into Jem this episode?: four
Thank you for reading! Stay outrageous!
..........YES. Now run, grab some cookies and milk, and plop your butt in front of the computer. It's time for "Jem"!
Click to viewToday's episode: "In Stitches." It's a fashion-centric episode, so things are going to be all sorts of........
FI-ERCE!
The episode opens with all of the Starlight Girls downstairs at the mansion with Aja, doing something...gambling, maybe. Or watching Jerrica and Rio have another fight. But that's not important. What's important is that Ashley is upstairs with Shana, wanting her advice on designing clothes. WOW. This is a major change in defiant, petulant Ashley from the first five episodes!
Shana tells Ashley to start with stick figures, and then to use colored markers to hang clothes from the figure. LOLWAT? Okay, Shana. Here is a Jem-fashion I did using the Shana Method:
Beautiful. Stunning. Flawless. Outrageous.
Kimber interrupts their Kodak moment to tell them that Lin-Z Pierce's show is on. And they rush downstairs to watch, since this is 1986 and they can't just YouTube it later. Well, Shana rushes downstairs. Ashley stays and starts working on her craft.
Downstairs on "The Lin-Z Pierce Show," she talks about how Tony Casini is staging an "awesome rock fashion competition." It's by invitation only, and it'll be held in Venice. "As in, Italy." (Man, Lin-Z Pierce just makes this sound weird.) The winner will be featured in Casini's music video. He hasn't chosen the American contestants yet, but RUMORS ABOUND that it's between the Limp Lizards...
(Huh? Who?)
...the Misfits...
Of course.
....and Jem and the Holograms.
(But they just couldn't get a pic of the WHOLE BAND. Once again, it's always just about JEM.)
And Lin-Z has Tony Casini on tonight to make the announcement. He goes on about how hard it was to make the decision, with "the youth and the vibrancy of today's rock fashions." And he REALLY can't choose between the Misfits or Jem and the Holograms. (BUT WHAT ABOUT THE LIMP LIZARDS?!) So he just decides to invite them both.
RAISE THE ROOF! We're going to Venice, baby!
But this does not bode well with the Misfits.
Pizzazz is all, "How could they tie with us when we have a professional designer?" Oh, must be nice to have a rich daddy, Pizzazz. Roxy figures since Shana's an amateur, they might as well get her shaken up under the pressure.
Right as Lin-Z's pointing out that Shana is the only one who is a performer AND a designer, the phone call from Roxy comes to the Starlight Mansion, bragging that they have Bobby Stark doing their designs. Well, good for you, pin a rose on your nose. And Pizzazz crows over the phone, "You're just a potato sack seamstress for a bunch of orphans." Wow, that was way harsh, Pizzazz.
As Shana hangs up on them and goes back to her room, Ashley stops her to show off her stick-figure art. Shana doesn't really have time. She has bigger things to worry about.
Back in her room/designing area, Shana's scribbling on her pad and bunching paper up and throwing it all over, all frustrated that she let Roxy bother her. Aja, Kimber and Jerrica enter the room to tell her to go to bed and that they have an early flight to VENICE. Yeah, right. They do the "good friend" thing and try to boost her confidence. Which, you know, is code for MUSIC VIDEO TIME.
Why does Jerrica wear makeup to bed?
This is one of the most lolzy videos EVER. If Jerrica seriously needs to transform into Jem in the middle of the night to sing and dance, she has some problems. But the muses essentially play dress-up to inspire and encourage Shana. And it works, I guess. By the time morning rolls around, Shana's got a slew of designs done and in her tubular case. As she's bugging people, "Don't forget your shoes!", her designs get mysteriously replaced. IS THIS WORK OF THE MISFITS?!
So Jem and the Holograms board their plane and head to Venice with seemingly no difficulty. Then halfway through the flight, during a storm, Jem gets up to go to the bathroom.....and it happens.
She does NOT start her period, but Synergy starts shorting out on her and she reverts back to being plain-Jane Jerrica. Wearing one of those goofy hats that we must've thought were fashionable back in the 80s. Oh well. Lady Gaga's making hats fashionable again.
Jerrica's all, "WTF, Synergy?! 'Jerrica' is supposed to be in New York!" So THAT'S the lie you told?
Synergy tells Jerrica that she's experiencing some satellite interference. So Jerrica spends the rest of the freaking flight in the bathroom until the interference has passed. I LOVE IT. I wish more shit like this would've happened to Jerrica through the series. And what if the interference hadn't passed by the time the plane landed in Italy? What then?!
They're on their way to the Countess du Voison's Italian villa when a random gondola operator tells them they are to take a certain gondola.
And here we have more of Aja wearing orange:
Take a drink everytime you see Aja wearing orange. It's that blue-orange contrast thing again. What has been seen cannot be unseen.
A familiar-sounding dude wearing white tells the "paisan" to take the chicks while he takes the luggage. LOL, oh, Zipper, we know it's you. And we also know how you botch things up, so I'm waiting to see how this turns out.
We commence with more bad Italian accents as Jem and the Holograms get on the gondola. Well, Jem, Kimber and Aja do. Shana decides she'll ride with the wardrobe. The gondola operator is going on about how "bellisima" Venice is with it's merchant princes, and blah blah blah. Okay Jem, any moment you want to rip your clothes off and writhe all over the gondola is fine with me. Because we know you want to. You make us feel shiny and new. Yeah, you maaaake us feel shiny and new.....
Shana asks her gondola operator to try to catch up with the rest of the group, when she realizes it's Zipper (duh). He's all, "SHIT, she found me out! Well, time to ruin things!" and grabs her design portfolio and jumps from gondola to gondola, leaving Shana all alone.
Then the Misfits show up in a speedboat. Zipper jumps in, the portfolio tube smacks the gearshift, and Pizzazz loses control of the boat. And it's about to crash smack dab into the gondola Shana's in. See? Told you Zipper would botch this up. Time for a commercial break anyway.
BUY ME TOYS!!!!
I know I had a Lots-O-Huggin Bear back when I was a kid. He reeked of strawberries! (TEN MORE DAYS TILL TOY STORY 3!!)
Back to the show. The Misfits narrowly avoid colliding with Shana's gondola, but they manage to overturn it anyway (not on purpose, though!), and Shana falls out.
Gurl is PISSED. Not only did her designs get stolen and they've lost their shoes and accessories, but now her hair is going to be hella frizzy.
They arrive at the Countess' place, and Shana explains what happens to the Countess. She tells Shana that, well, haters are just gonna hate and do mean things and shit on your parade. But in classier terms. Then Gilligan from "Gilligan's Island" arrives with the wardrobe trunk full of the Holograms' accessories and junk. Then the trunk talks! "OW! HANDLE WITH CARE!" .....what?!
They open the trunk and guess who they find inside?
I find it amazing that Ashley was able to survive in the trunk with no breathing holes, AND after the trunk fell out of the gondola into the river. THIS MAKES NO SENSE. And isn't this the SECOND time we've seen Ashley locked away in a trunk in the whole series? It's official: take a drink every time Ashley's locked in a trunk! But the funny part is.....Ashley switched portfolios! Those are her designs in the one Zipper stole! She had Shana's portfolio with her in the trunk the whole time. Ashley's all, "Someone stole my designs? Well, I knew they were good!" Keep telling yourself that, hon.
Meanwhile, at the place the Misfits are crashing at, the Misfits and the seamstresses are laughing their asses off over "Shana's" designs.
"LOL, you paid Zipper for this shit? FAIL, Eric." My thoughts exactly, Pizzazz.
And it looks like the Misfits' go-to designer Bobby Stark got a toothache and can't make it to do their dirty work. Now the Misfits are up shit creek, so what are they going to do?
Back at the Countess' place, there's a mini-montage of Shana getting the Holograms' designs taken care of. The next day, they go shopping for new shoes and accessories since the ones in the trunk were ruined.
Oh, the shoe lovers' paradise. Ashley's going on about "you can have any kind of feet you want with shoes. Shoes to run in, shoes to dance in...."
And guess who crashes the shoe store to finish up this sentiment?
"SHOES TO WALK ALL OVER YOU IN!"
Sounds like it's time for another music video.
Yeah, bow down, bitches. It's the Misfits, bein' awesome. Come in, trash the joint, take what you want, and leave. Ta-ta!
Back at the Countess', Zipper breaks in and steals the outfits that Shana has worked her ass off to make. Ah, going the route of Los Guerreros, are we?
I MISS EDDIE GUERRERO SFM, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
As Zipper's stealing stuff, he heard Jem telling Shana, "The Misfits are always hostile, ignore them." And he quickly gets out of there before they all come in. They walk in to see that the costumes are gone. Shana's all, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT GARBAGE." So that night, they go to take care of some business.
They arrive by gondola at Eric's villa and spy some seamstresses being let in by Eric, who bitches, "I asked for five seamstresses, why are there only four?" How convenient. Now Jem knows what she can do: rely on Synergy to help them out, as always.
She fiddles with her earring and asks Synergy to transform her into an Italian seamstress so she can just waltz in there without having to be sneaky. And it works. Inside, Jem spies on the seamstresses working diligently on the Misfits' frocks when Zipper presents the outfits Shana just finished to the Misfits. They're all, "Oooooooooooh! GIMME!"
And then they're all, "EW, too pretty!"
Pizzazz snatches the other ones from Stormer and Roxy, and plunks them down in seamstress-Jem's lap and orders her to go dye 'em black. Seamstress-Jem is leaving the regular way she came in when Roxy tells her to use the servants' stairs. So she does, transforms back into Jem, and sneaks out when Eric catches her in the act and is about ready to kill her. The Misfits storm out and are chasing Jem and the Holograms over to a bridge where they get into a tug-of-war fight over fucking CLOTHES. Somehow, the Misfits go over the edge of the bridge, hanging on for dear life onto the clothes, when they rip in half. The Misfits fall and a motorboat comes to rescue them. All except for Roxy, who falls into the water. (FAIL.) Aja and Kimber yell at them, "Hope your satisfied! All for clothes, and now NO one has any!" The Misfits snicker, "Yeah, we'll see about that!"
Jem and the Holograms are surely up the creek without a paddle now, right? WRONG! Synergy has Shana's designs saved in her memory! RIGHT CLICK SAVE THE DAY!
Now to get back to the Countess'. There are no motorboats, but Tito says he can row like mad. Do any of them have any money? Nope. They try bargaining with Tito, but they're just wasting time, and time is running out.
Hmmm...yeah. About time for the last music vid of this episode:
HOLY CRAP, IS THIS RIO'S ONLY APPEARANCE IN THIS EPISODE?!! He didn't even go with them to Venice! And did they seriously stop in the middle of their "time is running out" spiel to DANCE and SING for people?! YES THEY DID.
But hey, their singing and dancing raised them enough money to get them their gondola. Tito is rich now! And they make it to the fashion show with NOTHING. The coordinator tells them they go on last, so go get cleaned up and pretty.
Guess who shows up, lookin' all fly and shit?
Triflin', thievin' bitches. What I want to know is how on Earth they made this happen. I mean, they just got their hands on the outfits that Zipper ripped off from Jem and the Holograms and only had them minutes before they were ruined. Soooo....how'd the Misfits' seamstresses whip up these babies so quickly before the actual fashion show?
BUT WAIT, AS KIDS, WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO QUESTION THESE THINGS. Silly me!
What are Jem and the Holograms going to do now?! The Misfits have jacked their swagger AND made it look better, and they have no time or material to whip anything up now. (Not like the Misfits did, either, but like I said...)
Wait a minute, I'm stupid. Who do Jem and the Holograms rely on to get them out of any mess? SYNERGY, OF COURSE! Synergy can just put holograms of Shana's costumes over the girls like she does with Jerrica, DUH! I wish I had a pair of Jemstar earrings, too. Then I wouldn't bother with ever wearing clothes. EVER. Walk around naked all the time. YEAH! *pumps fist*
So then it's presentation time. The Misfits get to model their revamped stuff, and everyone eats it up.
"WE'RE MODELS!"
Once again, Synergy saves the day for Jem and the Holograms...
...for a minute. IT HAPPENS AGAIN.
Synergy has interference. NO fashions. They're standing around half-nekkid (why aren't they wearing regular bras and panties?!), and Jem has reverted back to being JERRICA. They're all, "FML!!!"
THEN Synergy decides to work properly again. Maybe they shouldn't rely on Synergy so much...
YAY!
The ranking....third place: some band from Japan that look like geishas. Bad stereotyping, I see what you did thar.
Second place: THE MISFITS. (HA! NOT FIRST!)
First place: Jem and the Holograms. (Of course!)
Then Countess du Voison alerts Tony Cassino that Shana designed the Misfits' fashions as well. Give credit where credit is definitely due. So Shana will get TWO credits.
WHY TWO CREDITS?!! WHY IS HE EVEN BOTHERING TO INCLUDE THE MISFITS?! THEY DIDN'T EVEN COME IN FIRST PLACE!! Pizzazz bitches, "It was MY idea to make 'em black!" (Ha ha, reminds me of in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion when they're making up their story about how they got rich off of inventing Post-Its, and Romy takes credit for practically the same thing but tells Michele, "It was your idea to make 'em yellow.") But whatever, Pizzazz, you didn't make them. Shana gets the credit.
What an anticlimactic ending. I feel like this episode was missing something. It's the lack of Rio being a pissy-pants and macking on Jem, I'm sure. It just isn't an episode of "Jem" without Rio getting to kiss Jem in the end.
"Outrageous" count: one
Aja blue-orange contrast count: one
How many times did Jerrica transform into Jem this episode?: four
Thank you for reading! Stay outrageous!