Can't PuG DA (Crossover Challenge)
Author: promisetruth
Title: Can't PuG DA
Characters: Grey Warden, Alistair, Wynne, Dog, Zevran. Random WoW toons.
Rating: T
Word Count: 1,020
Summary: Strange visitors from Azeroth land in the Grey Warden’s camp for a night. The two different parties talk about the differences in between worlds.
A/N: Well this whole thing sounded a lot funnier at 6 in the morning as I was imaging it. Oh well. Guess I just have to work on writing comedy. Anywho, WoW fans enjoy. :D
******
"I do not understand," Zevran asked the 'Night Elf' after his group that followed the Warden and the newcomers from some strange land called Azeroth stopped for the night. "The elves in your land are treated as nobles, no?" the blue haired elf shook her head.
"No, we are not treated as nobles, but we are respected."
"Respected as in you receive compliments, praise, glory, and gold?"
"We are respected as both combat fighters and spell healers," she gently shrugged her shoulders. "We are just normal citizens fighting under the banner of the Alliance."
"No extra gold?" once again Zev's question was answered with a shake of the Night Elf's head. "Shame, I would have rather liked that."
"Well there is one way to get extra money." she said tilting her head to the side. "The other races enjoy when you un-equip your gear and dance on top of the mailbox in front of banks. You do get gold from that."
"Oh? You have piqued my interest, please continue," Zev purred as he listened to the stories of dancing naked in the middle of cities and having people actually cheer you on. "Now this is a place I would like to live." he concluded with a wink.
******
Alistair looked warily at the huge cow-looking creature that was sitting next to him. The...thing...had been watching him since they met up with this odd group who came from Maker knows where.
"You tank?" it grunted.
"Tank?" Alistair questioned. "No...no..I'm a Templar. Or almost was one if you want to be specific."
"Templar?" the thing shook its head. "You mean paladin?"
"No, ser, a Temp-" the cow got up. It towered over him.
"Up," it commanded. Alistair obeyed. "Fight."
"What? Here? Now? That's insane we can't fight-" Alistair had seconds to dive to the side before a large, wooden post, with a red flag that had two swords clashing with one and another on it came hurling down to dig in the ground right where he had been standing. "By the Maker what's happening?" he cried. Red numbers started to flash in front of his eyes.
3...
2...
1...
Duel!
The cow rushed at him, sword ready.
"Crap..." Alistair whimpered.
******
Wynne sipped the fine Dalaran wine that the strangers had brought; with a quick swish and a swallow the woman finished the drink and let out a sigh of contentment. She must visit this Dalaran place before she joins the Maker, Wynne concludes, it was honestly the finest wine she had ever drunk. A ragged voice tore her out of her daydreaming.
"Do you heal?" she hissed. It was one of the strangers. It was a human. Or once was. Flesh had started to fall away and bone peeked out at certain spots, it was as if she was undead.
"That I do. Might I ask you a question, if you do not mind?" Wynne asked.
"Speak quickly."
"Are you also living on borrowed time given to you by one of the benevolent demons from the Fade?" the woman blinked at Wynne.
"Nay. I am forsaken." she said and walked away.
"Lovely..." Wynne took another swig of the wine. "Just lovely."
******
Dog growled at the oversized white cat that was before him. It hissed back. He must protect his mistress from these strange aliens. They did not belong here.
"Hey, Warden, your dog's 'bout to get into a fight with that pussy." someone yelled. Dog did not turn to see his mistress's reaction. He charged.
Once the battle was won and he sent that giant cat away to lick its wounds he heard the master of the weak cat cry out.
"No! That thing has beaten FluffffyPawwzz!" Dog snorted. What a stupid name to call a beast.
******
"I'm the Dungeon Leader of this group and I would like to ask you some questions." the man approached the Grey Warden.
"Very well." the Warden motioned for the Dungeon Leader to sit.
"Have you ever thought of forming a guild?"
"A what? Like a merchant's guild?" the Warden frowned.
"No, like a guild for all your friends. Ya know, where you can hang out and organize group things? You could give it a cool name like 'Forward Hussars' or 'Cobalt Crusaders' or even 'Wayward Knights'. " the Warden gave another blank stare. "Guess not. How about loot? Do you ever get a problem with that? You have a large party so how do you organize it?"
"Loot? Well equipment is just given to whoever needs it most."
"And it's as simple as that? Wow, you sure got some plan here. I always have people complaining every time loot drops. And you 'Grey Wardens' are like the only heroes?"
"We are the only ones who can stop the Blight."
"So no one else can win?"
"Win? Erm, when you put it that way...no. No one else can stop the Blight." the Dungeon Leader seemed very confused about this notion. "Wow, I wonder how the company makes any money, who wants to buy something where you can't win?" the man continued with his questions. "And this...Blight...is that the only thing that is plaguing your world?"
The Warden was shocked. "Isn't that enough!? People are dying!" the Dungeon Leader shrugged his shoulders.
"And? We've had Demons, Dragons, Litch Kings, Mana-driven-blood-elves, Corrupted Night Elves that yell 'You are not prepared, World bosses, and a whole bunch of other crap."
"And your world is not destroyed?"
"Nope, not till Cataclysm. Then the whole world is going to shit."
******
"Guys my mom's home, I gotta log!" one of the newcomers yelled as he faded out of the camp. Once he did this a chorus of complaints rained down on them.
"How do I get out?"
"Go to the map, and right click on the eye and hit 'Teleport Out Of Dungeon."
"K, thanks!"
"Uggg, why does this always happen to me? Damn PuGs."
"Thanks for the group!"
Then there was silence.
The Grey Warden looked at their normal party members, everyone was very, very confused.
"That's it," the Warden issued. "No more Deep Mushrooms for dinner."