May 12, 2011 22:41
secretly a softie,
alma broke my brain,
!public: filtered,
✉ ｏｕ 「lenalee lee」,
✉ ｏｕ 「lavi」,
did not want to kill bff again,
✉ ｏｕ 「allen walker」,
+ voice,
+ text,
fml,
!public: general,
✉ ｏｕ 「rhode kamelot」,
✉ ａｕ 「alma karma」,
protecting the only way i know how
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.... Rhode should have let me kill you.
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...I won't bring my Innocence this time. It'll just be me and you, no Innocence, no Church.
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Talking just... it can't happen. It can't.
[Damnit just... shut up and let him kill you already D: talking'll just lead to realizations that... can't... happen.]
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I can't... I won't fight you. I refuse to.
[He doesn't know. He's almost... forgotten his promise, having been here for so long with bitty Alma.]
I don't want anything to happen to either of you.
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[He's yelling now, sounding desperate]
I just... [No. Damnit! He can't afford to waver. This... this is absolute. This is what has to happen.] I'm an Akuma. You're an Exorcist. Church or no Church, one of us is going to end up dead.
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I am not going to lose you again, Alma Karma! The only one that will end up dead here are Noah!
...You've got a second chance here. Your younger self's taking advance of it. So should you.
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[Why can't he just get angry? Come at him in that blind rage? It makes thing easier, makes it easier to do what he has to.
But by now, with how Yuu's been reacting to him? He... doesn't think he'll get that. Which makes this situation so much worse.]
I don't need a second chance. I don't even want one!
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[Dammit, he can't let Alma alienate himself. Not here. Not while Rhode was here, too.]
You've got one whether you like it or not! Make something of it!
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[He's trying. He'll always try. Because if he can't kill Yuu, the most he can do is stay away from him. Even if a small part of his brain is kicking him, telling him like hell will that ever happen.
If there was one thing Yuu was, it was stubborn. And right now, that trait of his was driving Alma up a wall and back.]
I can't, Yuu. I lost that chance as soon as I opened my eyes again.
[Take that as you will, Kanda. But Alma means... before this. Before he went into that comatose state. Before Yuu even awoke in the Order. The moment he opened his eyes and crawled out of that vat of water and chemicals. That was where everything had ended.]
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[lkdjsf damnit where is the off button on this thing he wants to end this conversation while he still sounds angry instead of... whatever state of mind Yuu is pushing him into.]
Why do you even care?! You wanted me dead, too!
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[He doesn't know about their fight yet, just that Alma ends up an Akuma.]
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