I am guilty and now I'm angry
Well thanxgiving is over, now here comes x-mas. This is going to sound mean but I hate buying presents for people. I don't know what they really want and whatever I buy is never it. Anyway, I have lots of papers to write. I feel like there is nothing to look forward to. Crystal Moultine and I are going to take a yoga class together. Maybe I'll start being flexable again. I've been working out. Not over thanxgiving break but I will be going tomorrow morning after my morning class. Is it normal to always feel like there is nothing to get excited over? Then when I do get excited over something it depresses me because I know it will end soon, and when that thought comes to my mind that's when it ends. I'm not a loving person anymore either. All I do is hurt people. I don't even know if I care anymore. I made a stupid mistake couple of weeks ago one night. I wouldn't feel so guilty if it felt right but it wasn't even good. He didn't pay much attention to me. Why do some guys think it is all about them all the time. That fucking pisses me off! And for anyone who may be confused on when I'm really angry and when I'm not let me clarify..........I really am fucking angry about it, like when I think about it I want to scream and cry and pull my hair out!! I am losing weight again and when I start this class with crystal it will only help me lose more weight. Guys think she is hot for some reason and it will drive me to not eat. i really want to be friends with her. i miss the friendship carol and i had. i need someone so bad, I don't have anyone that has been there for me since i met them.