The younger years
Wow...now that I think about it, thing's used to be so much simpler when we were young. We did thing's that we all wanted with out thought of right or wrong most of the time...well at least I did. To live for the moment...that's what I thought would be the way to life. I've always tried to do the right thing's to other's,(other than my mother and father ofcorse)but I never gave much thought as to what the future may have held for me. I've lied and lied and lied. I had a friend think I was left handed for over a year...I'm not.=)
But then there was a time I got out of control. I did drugs...a lot of them...and I became angry at...well...everything. I don't know if it had something to do with my parents getting a divorce or maybe I couldn't find the love I wanted so much. Maybe it was me being a rebel or just trying to fit an image that in the end, I never wanted to be. I Hurt people physically and mentally. In the end...I'm twenty five years old and have nothing to actually be proud of. I dropped out of school, and worked most my life. I think working made me more of a man than anything I thought would have.I helped my mother make ends meet since it was just me and her back then. I lived with my mother and as I grew up I realized that the only thing that really made me happy was making others happy...something I think became a two sided coin. There are people who always take advantage of that unfortunately. Now, I must be rambling. Truth is I have so much to say on this, that I cant even keep a straight thought on it.
Moral's made me see...not religion or music or people. A belief can go a long way. It gives people purpose and it defines who we really are in the end. Before I die, I want to make a difference in people's lives. I want to help someone who cares about me and make a difference in there life. I now live on my own, my mother is happy since I changed and helped her to be able to live without the worries of her son. My father, after years of telling myself I'd never be anything like him...I found that as he change from getting cancer and I changed after my problems...we've actually became each other...and I think I'm glad about that.
I think the world forgot. I think people are so rapped up in there own lives that they tend to step on others just to get by. And although there seems to be no choice in the matter, people need to see that although its something they have to do to survive...is it right? Its become a satanist's world out there...is that what everyone really want's? Maybe I just have met the wrong people, but there seems to be an awful lot of them. My old click is probably 30 strong now...look at them. They step on each other just for a girl. Who's fighting who and he said this and...holy shit...the fucked up things they've done to each other just to get a laugh. Its just not right. I don't DO that...I guess maybe I am to different, but I'd rather be really weird and considered crazy for THIS frame of mind then that one.=)
PS...man, after I spell checked this...I really need to go back to school.;-)
But then there was a time I got out of control. I did drugs...a lot of them...and I became angry at...well...everything. I don't know if it had something to do with my parents getting a divorce or maybe I couldn't find the love I wanted so much. Maybe it was me being a rebel or just trying to fit an image that in the end, I never wanted to be. I Hurt people physically and mentally. In the end...I'm twenty five years old and have nothing to actually be proud of. I dropped out of school, and worked most my life. I think working made me more of a man than anything I thought would have.I helped my mother make ends meet since it was just me and her back then. I lived with my mother and as I grew up I realized that the only thing that really made me happy was making others happy...something I think became a two sided coin. There are people who always take advantage of that unfortunately. Now, I must be rambling. Truth is I have so much to say on this, that I cant even keep a straight thought on it.
Moral's made me see...not religion or music or people. A belief can go a long way. It gives people purpose and it defines who we really are in the end. Before I die, I want to make a difference in people's lives. I want to help someone who cares about me and make a difference in there life. I now live on my own, my mother is happy since I changed and helped her to be able to live without the worries of her son. My father, after years of telling myself I'd never be anything like him...I found that as he change from getting cancer and I changed after my problems...we've actually became each other...and I think I'm glad about that.
I think the world forgot. I think people are so rapped up in there own lives that they tend to step on others just to get by. And although there seems to be no choice in the matter, people need to see that although its something they have to do to survive...is it right? Its become a satanist's world out there...is that what everyone really want's? Maybe I just have met the wrong people, but there seems to be an awful lot of them. My old click is probably 30 strong now...look at them. They step on each other just for a girl. Who's fighting who and he said this and...holy shit...the fucked up things they've done to each other just to get a laugh. Its just not right. I don't DO that...I guess maybe I am to different, but I'd rather be really weird and considered crazy for THIS frame of mind then that one.=)
PS...man, after I spell checked this...I really need to go back to school.;-)