fic: Hello, Sir, You’re the Magnet to My Fist (and I’ll embrace the pain out of you) (2/3)
When he wakes up in the morning, he feels better. The only grogginess he feels is due to his usual morning grumpiness. There’s someone breathing against his neck, making him jolt a little in alarm and turn around, only to be faced with Natsu’s sleeping face. His eyebrows are furrowed in a slight grimace as he sleeps.
It’s been a few years since someone slept in the same bed as him, since someone’s breath tickled his skin like this. He recalls Sunako’s sleeping face framed by long strands of dark hair and compares it to Natsu’s agitated one, feeling sympathy and odd attachment for the man. He rubs his chest a bit with his fist, feeling uneasy.
…No fucking way he’s feeling like this, he realises what he’s doing angrily and jumps off the bed, backing off quickly. Natsu shifts in his sleep to lie on his back, arms spread languidly over the free space around him. His lips are thick and full, kind of like Sunako’s, and Kyohei has no idea why he has such stupid, disturbing thoughts in the first place so he just shakes his head and storms out of the room and thunders his way downstairs to raid the fridge because that thing will forever and always remain simple and comforting, no matter what.
Yukinojo is already in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee. No one’s there to cook breakfast for the whole group anymore, so they don’t always end up eating breakfast around the same time. Sometimes during university days. Which reminds him that he should study for tomorrow’s lessons a bit beforehand. If he bothers.
“Good morning,” Yukinojo greets him as he slouches his way to the refrigerator and pulls the door open to peer at its contents. Not much. Well, crap. He snarls in dislike. “Morning,” he finally greets back as he pulls out some leftovers from last night’s dinner and pushes them into the microwave. Yukinojo is raising his eyebrows.
“What?” Kyohei snaps at him, trying to calm down by listening to the electric hum of the microwave. It isn’t helping. He’s feeling edgy and snappy. Yukinojo snorts in his coffee cup, an annoying smile on his face. Kyohei walks over and holds his face, fingers sinking to his hollow cheeks. “You’re being annoying!”
“Stop abusing him, Kyohei,” Takenaga orders him as he walks in, straightening up his cardigan. He’s got a date with Noi today, that lucky bastard. Kyohei glares at him but lets go of Yukinojo, mostly because the microwave is beeping and he really needs his comfort food right now. He grabs a pair of chopsticks and his food and starts eating while he’s walking towards the table. Takenaga has sat down too, and he and Yukinojo are both looking at him expectantly.
“What?” he grumbles, mouth full of white rice. Takenaga leans over a little and Kyohei feels cornered.
“So?” Takenaga questions him, his voice calm but curious. It makes Kyohei’s hair stand on edge. He squirms on his chair uneasily and starts lapping more food in his mouth. “What was last night about?”
“Nothing,” Kyohei mutters, not meeting his friends’ gazes. He’s busy staring at his breakfast bowl to avoid the beams. “He saved my ass. It was late.”
“Is that so,” Yukinojo speaks slowly, his tone reeking of smugness. Stupid brat, always so full of himself. Kyohei broods and hides his face behind his breakfast bowl as he forces more rice in his already full mouth. “You felt grateful.”
“It’s nothing,” he insists. He wonders how his friends are even going to make out what he’s saying. Then again, they’ve had years’ worth of practice by now. “Totally nothing. What about you, you’re going out with Noi today! When are you going to propose to her? You’ve known her for years.”
Takenaga flushes a little but Yukinojo exclaims excitedly and points at him. Kyohei’s startled. He has no idea what he did this time to make that scary reaction come out again. “So this is about love then, isn’t this?”
“WHAT?” Kyohei shouts in shock, almost choking on his rice. He forces himself to swallow between the coughs. Yukinojo’s smug smile is even wider, if possible. Takenaga looks questioning with his eyes widened. The flush still hasn’t properly gone away.
“You changed the topic to Takenaga’s love life,” Yukinojo explains his conclusion, eyes narrowed a little. Sometimes Kyohei really wants to just punch his face in, especially during awkward moments like these. His face feels hot, and that’s just totally wrong because this has nothing to do with love or anything stupid like that, and he’s being falsely accused in here. “Doesn’t that mean something?”
“It means nothing,” Kyohei insists sharply while glaring at Yukinojo. They’re both leaning forward, heads tilting intimidatingly. Why they keep having these fights of will, he doesn’t know. He also doesn’t know why Yukinojo has a habit of acting like he’s always right when he’s definitely not right at all.
“That makes sense,” Takenaga sighs next to Yukinojo. Kyohei’s face snaps at him. Damn betrayal. He can’t take this. “If you associate the topics with each other…”
“I DON’T,” Kyohei snarls dangerously. “Stop acting like you know everything. He’s leaving when he wakes up. Just wait and see.”
“Kyohei,” Yukinojo wails unhappily. “Don’t be so rash! You don’t dislike him, do you? You could try to get to know him! You even went to his concert last night -”
“Not listening,” Kyohei announces as he gets up on his feet to take the emptied bowl to the sink. “It’s not like I went there to meet him, I was just curious and my parents and the master’s voices kept nagging me. It was stupid. Never doing that again.”
“He’s impossible,” Takenaga sighs disappointedly. Yukinojo nods and Kyohei purses his lips. He doesn’t deserve this treatment. It isn’t like anything happened or anything.
“Morning,” a voice says and they all turn their heads. Natsu’s gotten his trousers back on but his hair is still sleepily in wild disarray as he slumps towards the breakfast table. Takenaga stands up and Yukinojo jumps right after him, eyes sparkling mischievously.
Kyohei wonders if his friends will ever stop embarrassing him. They’re as transparent as they can be. Natsu’s eyes are a bit widened in shock. He looks more awake now.
“I need to go and get ready,” Takenaga announces, attempting to sound all lazy. Yukinojo nods and pats his back with a laugh. “I’ve got some things I need to do upstairs. Enjoy yourselves!” he chimes and winks at Kyohei who’s got his lips pressed into a tight line to keep the curse words inside. They’re totally not nailing the natural act. Even Natsu doesn’t look convinced. “See you later!”
They both walk away quickly and Kyohei slouches back to the fridge. He hits his head to the door a few times while Natsu just keeps looking at him, his mouth curved in a cat-like smile. He’s enjoying his moment of mirth as Kyohei opens the fridge door and mutters him to help himself to anything he wants. He just wants to get this over with.
He hums to himself absently as he picks up a small package of pudding. Sugar would be much appreciated now, he tells himself as he straightens himself up, feeling a bit more content and self-confident. He’ll give Natsu a cup of coffee and kick him out without a further word. Then it’s all over. Good. No problem.
There’s a hand on his shoulder, pulling him backwards. “Hm?” he mutters stupidly as he turns his torso around and then there are soft, plump lips on his and the pudding falls on the floor with an audible clatter. His body and mind start fighting each other, signals getting mixed up and confusing and angering him as he just stands there stupidly while Natsu’s arms slip around his lower back to pull him closer. His lips are moving too, insistently, and Kyohei flushes in angry realisation.
He wants to get away. He wants to freak out and curse and kick the man furiously until he’s bruised up and yards away from the boarding house, but he also wants to pull him closer and answer the hungry kiss that’s trying to urge him to open his mouth and let the man’s tongue past the tightly clenched rows of his teeth. Is he this deprived or what is this? His entire body feels electrified and turned on all of sudden. He doesn’t think he’s ever had a rush like this, not even with Sunako. With her it was always pretty much gentle and slow arousal. Now this feeling just struck him out of nowhere like a lightning bolt.
To hell with it. He dives with the feeling, opens his mouth and feels Natsu’s tongue pushing in and meeting his. Natsu’s pleasant scent is flooding his senses and his mouth feels full and tingly as the kiss makes his stomach drop unpleasantly, urging him to push for more of it. He’s never kissed like this, breaths loud and heavy and heads turning as they rapidly explore each other, trying to satisfy the sudden intense need of each other. Kyohei’s fingers are clasping Natsu’s locks, pulling him closer, while Natsu’s hands travel lower to grab his rear. The saliva all over his chin is making his skin feel cold.
There’s a horrified roar that returns Kyohei back to his senses. His eyes wildly look for the interrupter before he spots Takeru with his hands clasped over his eyes and jaw dropped. He reacts quickly, shoving Natsu away and crying out himself, feeling immensely violated.
He grabs the man from the hair at the back of his head and starts rapidly dragging him towards the front door, heart hammering in his chest and blood boiling. Natsu wails in pain and stumbles to keep up until Kyohei pulls the door open and kicks the man out. Natsu’s back collides with the rocky wall and he gasps, wiping his mouth to the sleeve of his hoodie.
“PERVERT!” Kyohei accuses him. Natsu’s eyes darken and he crosses his arms, lips a bit pouted as he tries to keep his anger issues at check. Kyohei feels explosive and is ready to punch the man down the long fall to a rocky pavement.
“It’s not like you wouldn’t have kissed back,” Natsu challenges him, his eyes narrowed in accusation. He’s not yelling; his notation is mostly like a humourless snort. “You were the one giving me signals.”
“NO I WASN’T!” Kyohei roars back furiously. He can hear steps behind him - Yukinojo and Takenaga are rushing down the stairs. Yukinojo goes after Takeru who’s probably still frozen in shock. That’s not really something Kyohei would’ve wanted the young boy to see. He’s flushed scarlet and humiliated as Natsu gives him that apathetically disappointed look from under the cover of his fringe.
“Whatever,” the man scoffs and starts walking down the stairs. Kyohei watches after him. Something’s tearing him but he can’t react to it. It’s probably the overwhelming need to just go and beat the man up. Natsu fishes a cigarette from his pocket and lights it, looking morose.
“What did you do?” Takenaga asks him, laying his hand over Kyohei’s shoulder. Kyohei pushes it away with a silent glare and walks past him back inside, leaving him alone outside. He hears the sound of the car door. Great, soon he’ll be gone. Good.
“So you’re just going to let him get away?” Takenaga yells after him. Kyohei scratches his hair furiously and groans. He’s developing a headache and he can’t make any sense out of his thoughts anymore. His body feels alerted and pumped up with adrenaline. He could start throwing furniture, if he wasn’t so much against Takeru seeing it.
He starts jogging up the stairs. “Kyohei!” Yukinojo yells after him. Takenaga’s sigh echoes all the way upstairs. Takeru isn’t speaking. Kyohei hurries to his room furiously, blood pounding in his ears and hands shaking furiously.
He slams the door behind him and crashes to his bed. The wave of emotions make him throw a fit on the bed - he punches it and rolls around and tears his hair, unable to get rid of the awful feeling. Everything smells like Natsu and he hates it. He has no idea what happened, but obviously no one can be trusted. It’s infuriating.
At least the man is gone now, and he’d better remain that way. He really doesn’t need yet another crazy stalker who might as well be looking for a chance to rape him for his looks. It’s a curse, this face of his, one he wants to horribly mutilate every now and then just to make it all stop. There’s no guarantee it will, though, and he isn’t particularly fond of pain.
His appetite is gone and he doesn’t feel like doing anything anymore. The waves of depression rush over him and drain him of any energy he might normally possess. He doesn’t move around for hours, not when he starts getting thirsty or when his stomach grumbles. He doesn’t even to go the bathroom.
The memory of Sunako’s face bothers him. Her silhouette by his window, the smothering sensation in his chest. It’s been a long time already. He doesn’t know why it feels so bad now. Maybe it’s just the fear of never again receiving something like it had been.
When the sun starts setting and paints the room golden, Kyohei buries his face in his pillows and chokes down his cries.
--
“You’re an idiot,” Takeru scolds him as he lies on the couch leisurely, snacking on fried prawns and watching some anime reruns from the television. He ignores the small boy completely, acting all nonchalant as he bites off half of the prawn to drown his sorrows in food. “Kyohei!”
“Ah, love has struck him off his feet!” Ranmaru declares. Kyohei’s eyes narrow in annoyance and he’s steaming inside, but trying to remain composed as he munches on his food bitterly. One would think his friends would leave him alone already but no. No one ever does. It’s been over a week yet even Ranmaru is at his throat about it. At least he should be gone by the evening. He’s moved in together with his fiancé. Apparently it’s going alright. Sometimes he gets kicked out and sleeps over a night or two. That’s completely irrelevant, though.
“Kyohei!” Takeru tries again and pinches his cheek. Kyohei pushes his hand away, finally looking at the boy grumpily.
“What?!” he snaps, pissed at the constant intrusion. It’s his private life. Just because he had -
“You’ve been sad ever since you kicked out that man you kissed!” Takeru insists and Kyohei groans and buries his face in his hands. He’ll never live this down, seriously. Even the kid who should really have no say in the matter is against him. “Don’t you think it’s time to find him?”
“Be quiet,” Kyohei whines and curls up a little in defence. “You’re such a bother, you don’t get it at all, do you…”
The boy pouts and crosses his arms, glaring at him as he lousily starts munching on another fried prawn, eyes glued on the screen. “Let him be, Takeru,” Takenaga speaks up from the stairs as he comes down, arm wrapped around Noi’s hips. Kyohei glares at them briefly before returning to his own little moody state, even more upset than before if possible. “It’s his loss.”
“But…” Takeru wails insistently. Ranmaru sighs dramatically and sits at the end of the couch. Kyohei kicks him lightly, not eager to share his space. “Maybe you should listen to your heart, Kyohei,” he suggests with a thick and honeyed voice that makes him sick to his gut. “You did kiss him…”
“Shut up,” he snarls dangerously as he places the empty bowl on the floor, chewing on the last mouthful of prawns spitefully. He really doesn’t want to hear it anymore. There’s really nothing to defend himself with, everything he can possibly say will just make it sound worse and worse. “I’m just happy he’s gone.”
“Then you don’t mind me throwing these away, do you, Kyohei?” Yukinojo chimes in and suddenly Natsu’s face peers at him from the CD covers that are pushed right in front of his face. Kyohei’s body jolts a little and he almost reaches out for them before he manages to pull his hands back to himself, heart hammering. He can’t look away from the CDs. Yukinojo is so going to destroy them, he’s so going to…!
“You nosy brat!” he exclaims heatedly, body tense. He has no idea why he’s making such a big deal out of it. It’s not like he would’ve listened to the CDs anyway. “Don’t go through my stuff! He practically shoved them in my hands, it’s not like I asked for them!”
“But you didn’t throw them away either,” Yukinojo exclaims victoriously, eyes wide as he argues against him. “You have feelings for him.”
“I don’t!” he rages. How many times does he have to repeat it before anyone believes him?! “Go ahead, throw them away! Even if I cared about him even for a little bit, there’s no way I’d get in contact with him again! It’s over! So let me be, won’t you!?”
“I’ll throw them away then,” Yukinojo threatens him, the CDs pulled against his chest. Kyohei glares at him. He really doesn’t want him to. Who cares, though. He turns his head away stubbornly and looks at the commercials coming from the TV without really seeing them. His senses are wired on Yukinojo who’s standing behind the couch. Yukinojo, who’s soon going to dispose of his last remainders of the man who’s been bothering his thoughts for way too long already.
“You’re awful, Yukinojo!” Noi cries out. She’s behind the couch as well and her shrieking voice is only adding to Kyohei’s headache. He closes his mind and starts counting numbers to keep his calm. “Can’t you see he’s heartbroken? Don’t be so cruel!”
“I said I’m not heartbroken…” Kyohei mumbles and grinds his teeth together. Everyone ignores him and starts arguing about the CDs right behind his back. Takeru shrugs at him, looking all innocent and pitying. Kyohei smacks his lips in annoyance and flips to another channel to get a distraction.
“I’ll throw them away, Kyohei,” Yukinojo finally announces. Everyone’s quiet, looking for his reaction. He refuses to move or flinch, just stares at the TV screen in faked boredom, lips pressed tightly into a thin line. “Fine then,” the boy snaps at him and starts walking away. Kyohei tries to swallow down the nasty lump in his throat but fails.
“I’m not sure if you’ve opened these,” Yukinojo yells at him from around the kitchen area, “but the newest one has a phone number slipped inside.”
“WHAT?” Kyohei yelps and jumps up on his feet, breathing erratic and heart hammering. He runs after his fun-sized friend and snatches the CDs from his hands, opening their cases to see a tiny shredded piece of a bill with a telephone number scribbled on it. Everyone is staring at him.
“What are you looking at!?” he bellows as he snaps the case shut nonchalantly, lips pursed as he acts innocent. Yukinojo is grinning at him and Noi’s eyes are sparkling. Everyone looks really weird and scary as he glares at them warily. “Stop looking at me like that…”
“You’re so transparent,” Ranmaru tells him from the couch, cocking his head with a smug smile. “If you really like him that much, maybe you should pay him a call.”
“Go for it, Kyohei!” Takeru exclaims excitedly as he jumps on the couch and pumps his fists up in the air. Kyohei gets the shivers as he swallows, unable to come up with a proper defence.
“It’s just good music,” he murmurs as he starts his great escape and jogs towards the staircase lousily. “Call him, Kyohei!” Noi shouts after him and Takenaga chuckles. “IT’S JUST GOOD MUSIC!” Kyohei insists loudly as he disappears to the corridor, fleeing away from the curious spectators as he opens the CD case again and pulls out the bill.
…What is he doing? He stops in his tracks and curses heavily, ending up leaning against the wall. What is he even supposed to say? Obviously Natsu had left the note before he had kicked him out, which means it basically stands for nothing now. It had been him who had been an ass anyway, and it’s not like Natsu wouldn’t have known his address to swing by if he wanted to like all the other stalkers.
He slips the bill shakily back inside the CD cover and speeds up his steps as he heads towards the solidity of his room. He isn’t able to come up with any solution to the problem, except for calling the man, but there’s no way he can just call him and there’s nothing to say even if he did it.
He hides the CDs to his wardrobe so that the nosy brat, more commonly known as Yukinojo, won’t get his hands on them again and start threatening him. He’s much better off being able to make his own decisions like everyone else on this planet.
--
It takes him a few days to think ‘to hell with it’ and dial Natsu’s number from his mobile phone. He’s almost afraid the man won’t answer him, which is ridiculous because there’s no way Natsu can tell beforehand that the caller is him because he doesn’t have his number.
“It’s Natsu,” the man’s voice answers carelessly. He sounds mildly curious whilst being annoyed and chewing on something, whatever that something might be. “Who is it?”
“How old are you?” he snaps at the man without thinking further. The line stays quiet for a while - even the chewing sound stops. Kyohei’s heart hammers in his chest as he wonders if the man has recognised him or not. The light at the intersection he’s supposed to pass turns green and he keeps walking, ignoring the annoying squealing whispers somewhere behind him.
“Thirty-seven,” Natsu finally answers him, his voice low. There’s a sniff and some more of the chewing. “Old, huh?”
He is. Twelve years older than him, Kyohei realises and groans, pinching the skin between his eyes furiously. He can’t seriously be getting so wound up with this. “You’re so old,” he accuses the man angrily, because really, Natsu is pretty much middle-aged yet he still dared to kiss him, knowing fully well he was much younger. “That’s sick!”
“Mmh. “
“Don’t say just ‘mmh’!” Kyohei snarls, pouting at the phone. The man is impossible. At least he doesn’t act his age. He has a feeling he’s being the victim of Natsu’s middle-age crisis or something, and it isn’t exactly flattering. “You should be married with kids!”
“Kids… hmm… I have zero,” Natsu tells his, speaking a little louder. He’s joking with that careless attitude of his again, and Kyohei can tell he’s slowly easing up a little, closer to an actual smirk with each word. “Wife… well.”
Kyohei’s stomach drops. “YOU HAVE A WIFE?!” he bellows at the phone. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!”
“Zero,” Natsu’s voice comes out as a joking hiss from the speaker. Kyohei furrows his brow - why is he getting played around like this? It’s totally not fair. “I’m a rock star,” Natsu continues with a humorously smug tone and a chuckle. “Women want flings with rock stars, not husbands.”
Somehow Kyohei thinks he could doubt that a little, but he lets Natsu’s claim to just be.
“Where are you?” he finally decides to ask with an embarrassed mutter. He can finally locate the group of girls following him - it’s starting to grow. Well, he’s getting closer to his university, it’s only understandable, he assumes.
The speaker distorts the sound of Natsu’s laughter a little bit. “Practice. I’m taking a break~” Kyohei scoffs to that, not entirely convinced that the break is a rewarded one. “How so? Miss me?”
He’s flushing scarlet, he knows that without a mirror, and chews his lip angrily. “No!” he insists with a hiss, eyeing back in paranoia, eager to keep this conversation just between the two of them. Natsu doesn’t need any of his bloodthirsty fangirls after him. “You left your number! So I called!”
“Just a little bit then?” Natsu insists, making Kyohei’s blood boil. He just said he didn’t! “Want to see me? This afternoon. 11:59 and 59 seconds in front of the café. Yes?”
“I’ve got university classes!” Kyohei reminds him while grinding his teeth together. The group of girls behind him is starting to disturb the traffic and unrelated pedestrians. It makes him roll his eyes. “I can’t make it to that! I get out at eight.”
“Eight, huh,” Natsu hums back thoughtfully. “Hmm, I get it, I get it. In the evening 11:59 and 59 seconds then~”
Kyohei grimaces, starting to feel pissed. “No, I’m sleeping at that time, in my own, comfortable bed. Half ten, if you’re lucky, I want to have dinner first. No way I’ll go anywhere with you without eating first,” he snorts, feeling quite pleased with himself. “Yes or no, your pick.”
“…Fine,” Natsu agrees, sounding quite cranky already. “You’ll come?”
“I’ll come,” Kyohei promises, starting to speed up his steps as the crowd increases its decibel-level and starts catching up with him. “Don’t forget! I’ll definitely come so if you don’t, I’ll break your CDs! I’ll definitely do it!”
“I’ll come, don’t sweat,” Natsu coughs hoarsely and spits something somewhere. Maybe he was chewing gum. Could make sense. “I’ll see you then,” the man still mumbles to the phone and hums absently. “Bye.”
“See you,” Kyohei confirms and cuts the call, glancing back warily again. The screaming it produces makes his ears ring and he decides to run the last few blocks, hearing the clacking of maybe a hundred pairs of heels approaching him as he dashes forward, slipping his phone in the pocket of his jeans and clutching his bag better.
“Such a bother,” he curses at himself breathlessly, hoping to god he won’t have a roomful of girls batting their eyelashes and pressing against him chattily in the lecture hall. One of these days, he’s seriously going to punch them, girls or not. There’s only so much rude intrusion he can take on a daily basis.
--
“Hop on,” Natsu’s voice calls out for him. Kyohei blinks at the white, old car inside which the man is sitting. “Come on, quickly. I’m not allowed to park here.”
Kyohei curses, already having a bad feeling about this. He circles the car and hops on to the passenger’s seat. Natsu starts driving before he even manages to fully slam the door shut. He rolls his eyes before turning around to look at Natsu. He can’t hold back the wide smile he feels coming forth.
“Where are we going?” he asks insistently, curious about their date. Natsu glances at him briefly, looking a bit as if he’d be lost in thought. “Come on, tell me!”
“I need to go and get something,” Natsu mumbles and lights up a cigarette. He opens the window but Kyohei still grimaces at the foul smell. Of course the man smokes. He should’ve expected it.
After that, the drive becomes awkward. Kyohei starts doubting himself - this probably wasn’t a good idea after all. There’s nothing to say for either of them and it’s already dark outside. Kyohei gives up the hope of the night being any fun. He wonders if they’re going to do anything at all. Natsu turns the radio on and strums his fingers to the wheel absently as he drives.
Kyohei can’t read him. He has no idea what the man is thinking or planning, and it’s starting to freak him out a bit. He’s relieved when the car pulls over at some kind of block building and Natsu hops out, motioning for him to follow. Kyohei follows him inside the building, getting the creeps.
“Your place?” he asks anxiously as he follows him up the stairs. There doesn’t seem to be an elevator. “What are we picking up?” He hardly ever goes to stranger’s houses, for safety reasons. Sometimes in really bad cases he’s gone to some girls’, like when he needed to get that stupid anatomic doll back to Sunako, but girls and men are two entirely different things. Natsu might actually be able to do something he doesn’t want him to.
Natsu doesn’t look back at him as he walks inside. He grabs a bottle of scotch from his table and takes a bit before shakily putting it back. He better not plan on driving then anymore, Kyohei thinks angrily from the doorway as he peers inside the messy apartment. Natsu’s belongings have been scattered messily around the room. Miss Nakahara wouldn’t tolerate it.
He doesn’t really want to stay here either, and things grow even more awkward and threatening when Natsu crashes on the bed sluggishly. “What do you want from me?” he asks Kyohei, his head tilting backwards limply as he peers at him from the bed, legs crossed and eyes mostly covered by his fringe. There’s something dark and helpless about him as the corner of his mouth twitches. He looks at the verge of disgusted. “Sex? Then come and get it,” he chuckles, his tone a bit on the side of mad. Kyohei stares at him by the closed door, dumbly frozen and not quite managing to get out any words to answer.
“Hurry up already!” Natsu bellows furiously. He pulls his shirt over his head and whisks it to the floor, hair tousled and a dark and teary smirk on his face as he laughs, voice void from any actual delight. “It’s why you called, isn’t it?”
“It’s not -” Kyohei tries to object. He finally snaps and lunges at Natsu when the man pays no heed to his attempt of an objection and starts unzipping his pants angrily. “Stop that!” he shouts at the man, starting to feel a bit desperate as he tries to fight Natsu’s hands away from his crotch. There’s a struggle until Natsu crashes down to lie on the bed and forcefully pulls Kyohei to lie on top of him. “Let go!” Kyohei bellows furiously, only getting an insistent and raging roar of “IT’S FINE!” as answer. Natsu’s knees are jabbing into his sides and he’s clutching on the front of his shirt to pull him closer, lips quivering in fury.
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” Natsu growls at him darkly, his head tilted and hair sprawled all over the white pillow. “All those weird questions, everything, you just wanted this. So just take it, I’m cool with it. What else would you be doing in here?”
“CALM DOWN!” Kyohei finally snaps and grabs Natsu painfully by the hair, making him flinch and squirm uneasily. The man’s breathing is rapid and his eyes peer up at him as he finally settles on lying limply beneath him with an apathetic expression. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Natsu doesn’t answer him. He shoves his chest with a snort and a grimace, appearing unimpressed. “If you’re going to be a pussy, leave,” he orders him strictly with a nonchalant voice. “Stop screwing with me.”
Kyohei groans and presses his lips tightly together to contain his venomous hiss of ‘who the hell is the one screwing with people in here’. Natsu’s behaviour is ridiculous and immature, and he’s lost Kyohei long ago. There’s no logic to follow, just mere absurdity that cannot be explained at all. “Stop being an idiot,” he barks at Natsu and refuses to remove himself from between the man’s legs. “I’m not here for sex!”
Natsu snorts disbelievingly and turns his head to avoid his gaze. Kyohei has no idea what’s bothering the man. It’s frustrating. “Natsu!” he tries to urge the man to speak up and shoves his shoulder determinately. “What the fuck is it with you…”
“Leave,” the man croaks from beneath him and turns his torso around to bury his face in his pillow. “Hurry up and leave,” the man insists wheezily, his voice now muffled by the pillow. Kyohei has no idea what to do or how to react - Natsu is acting disturbingly bipolar, one moment roaring at him and nearly raping him and then curling up to himself. He sounds a bit teary.
He must be cold too. The room is chilly and Natsu’s skin is exposed, his shirt still discarded somewhere on the floor. His shoulder trembles ever so slightly and something flares up in Kyohei’s body. He presses his lips tightly together and leans down to wrap his arms around the man as tightly and securely as he can. Natsu’s muscles are strained and he’s barely breathing. Kyohei’s mouth feels dry. He has no idea what he should do now.
“For some reason… I can’t get you out of my mind,” he admits, speaking without fully thinking beforehand. Natsu half-heartedly pushes him a bit but he only tightens his hold and buries his face in the chilled skin of the man’s shoulder blade. He just wants to encourage Natsu somehow, cheer him up. He’s never really been good with that, he can’t even cheer himself up. It doesn’t take away the pressing obligation to try. “I don’t know why. I don’t understand any of this, but… Maybe we’re becoming friends,” he wonders, feeling his heart itching in his chest horribly. “I care about you.”
Natsu’s chuckling sorrowfully in the pillow, sounding unconvinced. Kyohei turns him around and suddenly their faces are strangely close. He can feel Natsu’s breaths on his face, can see the way his tired eyes wander on his features. It’s like that for a while, with the intense need to just dip his head to catch Natsu’s lips into a kiss. The older man’s body is soft and firm around him, manly and definitely nothing like Sunako’s.
He’s never really gotten far enough to think about this. Does he even like men? He’s never really thought of liking anyone at all, except for back then when he liked Sunako enough to even get attracted to her in a sexual sense. He isn’t sure if he even has a preference, he realises, as Natsu’s chin rises slightly from the pillow, his eyes searching Kyohei’s desperately. It’s weird how he likes individuals, not certain body types. Now, though, Natsu is right there and his entire being practically begs him to just dive with the feeling.
He does. His entire body is overwhelmed with intense arousal as he keeps kissing Natsu deeper and deeper. His arms snake under Natsu’s and the man’s hands clutch his forearms as their bodies press together amidst their heated kisses. Kyohei feels out of breath as he goes for more and more of the welcoming moistness Natsu grants him. They keep pulling each other closer as they struggle on the bed, Natsu moaning beneath him. Kyohei almost wants to go all the way.
When Natsu’s hand tries to travel down towards the button of his jeans, he grabs it by the wrist, stopping him. Natsu withdraws from the kiss breathlessly and stretches his fingers, eyes wildly searching Kyohei’s for an explanation for the sudden halt. He tries to fight Kyohei’s grip but he presses the man’s hand strongly against the mattress and leans down to kiss him more gently and carefully, eyelids sliding shut. Natsu answers shakily, his hips jolting hastily.
When Natsu’s hand stops resisting and the man sighs in the kiss, Kyohei removes his hold and lets the man’s fingers thread through his hair carefully. He can feel the man’s heartbeat against his chest as he presses another peck on the man’s swollen lips and enjoys the way it makes his muscles relax and skin prickle happily.
“Why are you here?” Natsu asks him with a tired murmur. His eyes are open only by a crack as he wraps his arms around Kyohei’s shoulders to keep him close. Why indeed, Kyohei wonders anxiously. He just knows he doesn’t want to leave.
He cosies up against the man and rests his head in the curve of Natsu’s neck, fingers curled around the fleshy shoulder. Natsu’s chest keeps rising and falling softer when his breathing evens out and Kyohei tries to understand it all.
Love, his mind tells him and he grimaces defiantly. No it isn’t, he tries to reason with the absurd near-realisation. They barely even know each other, it can’t be. It has to be something shallow and stupid and there has to be something seriously wrong with him to feel weak and yearn like this.
Natsu breaks his thinking process by sitting up and pushing him up as well, his eyes sinking back to the exhausted apathy they’d previously depicted. Kyohei purses his lips as the man leans back to the support of his hands and tilts his head sloppily.
His face is beautiful.
He turns his head quickly away. No, no, no, no, no. He has to snap out of it. He’s just dozed up on hormones after all the kissing and… and… Oh shit, he had kissed Natsu. “Are you going?” the man asks him with a hoarse voice. Kyohei can hear his pout from his voice. Natsu does that, he realises in terror. He makes that face and tone of his when he acts like everything means much less to him than what it actually does. “Is that so,” the man nods and falls back on the mattress with a heavy thump. He doesn’t really move after that.
Kyohei turns his head back to peer down at Natsu who has his arms folded under his head for support. “Go ahead,” Natsu urges him. It’s kind of painful. His chest feels tight as he tries to pep-talk himself in his head to get up and leave because this is ridiculous and who knows what might happen to him here if he’s stupid enough to stay. Natsu has already proved to be unpredictable.
He can’t walk out on this though. He fakes an exaggerated yawn and stretches, letting his body fall back on top of Natsu. It hits the air out of the older man’s lungs and Natsu curses breathlessly beneath him. It makes him break into a giddy laughter.
“What are you laughing at?” Natsu grumbles underneath him. Kyohei’s body shakes as the laughter erupts from his lips. He rolls around and grins widely at the older man who looks at him with a baffled expression, eyes wider again. It only makes his mood light up even more and he chuckles, poking the man’s forehead playfully.
“Secret~” he insists, smiling goofily. He isn’t exactly sure what he’s laughing at either. Natsu, probably, he decides as he studies the man’s perplexed face from close proximity.
He stays. Eventually Natsu pulls his shirt back again and plays the guitar for him, cheering up little by little. He looks befuddled that Kyohei’s still there, that he’s staying and chatting happily and vividly with wild hand movements and facial expressions when he really gets into something, like the menu of the recently opened sushi bar near to the master’s café.
“Stay with me,” Natsu’s raspy voice appeals to him in the darkness after they’ve sleepily slipped under the thin duvet and cuddled together to leech warmth from each other. Kyohei can’t make out his expression even when he brushes the man’s soft face with his fingertips. The arms around him pull him closer and Natsu buries his face in the hollow of his neck, warm breath and tangled hair tickling the sensitive skin.
“Maybe,” he promises to think about it. Whether his parents would be proud of him or not, he doesn’t know. None of it matters either.
--
---> part 3/3
It’s been a few years since someone slept in the same bed as him, since someone’s breath tickled his skin like this. He recalls Sunako’s sleeping face framed by long strands of dark hair and compares it to Natsu’s agitated one, feeling sympathy and odd attachment for the man. He rubs his chest a bit with his fist, feeling uneasy.
…No fucking way he’s feeling like this, he realises what he’s doing angrily and jumps off the bed, backing off quickly. Natsu shifts in his sleep to lie on his back, arms spread languidly over the free space around him. His lips are thick and full, kind of like Sunako’s, and Kyohei has no idea why he has such stupid, disturbing thoughts in the first place so he just shakes his head and storms out of the room and thunders his way downstairs to raid the fridge because that thing will forever and always remain simple and comforting, no matter what.
Yukinojo is already in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee. No one’s there to cook breakfast for the whole group anymore, so they don’t always end up eating breakfast around the same time. Sometimes during university days. Which reminds him that he should study for tomorrow’s lessons a bit beforehand. If he bothers.
“Good morning,” Yukinojo greets him as he slouches his way to the refrigerator and pulls the door open to peer at its contents. Not much. Well, crap. He snarls in dislike. “Morning,” he finally greets back as he pulls out some leftovers from last night’s dinner and pushes them into the microwave. Yukinojo is raising his eyebrows.
“What?” Kyohei snaps at him, trying to calm down by listening to the electric hum of the microwave. It isn’t helping. He’s feeling edgy and snappy. Yukinojo snorts in his coffee cup, an annoying smile on his face. Kyohei walks over and holds his face, fingers sinking to his hollow cheeks. “You’re being annoying!”
“Stop abusing him, Kyohei,” Takenaga orders him as he walks in, straightening up his cardigan. He’s got a date with Noi today, that lucky bastard. Kyohei glares at him but lets go of Yukinojo, mostly because the microwave is beeping and he really needs his comfort food right now. He grabs a pair of chopsticks and his food and starts eating while he’s walking towards the table. Takenaga has sat down too, and he and Yukinojo are both looking at him expectantly.
“What?” he grumbles, mouth full of white rice. Takenaga leans over a little and Kyohei feels cornered.
“So?” Takenaga questions him, his voice calm but curious. It makes Kyohei’s hair stand on edge. He squirms on his chair uneasily and starts lapping more food in his mouth. “What was last night about?”
“Nothing,” Kyohei mutters, not meeting his friends’ gazes. He’s busy staring at his breakfast bowl to avoid the beams. “He saved my ass. It was late.”
“Is that so,” Yukinojo speaks slowly, his tone reeking of smugness. Stupid brat, always so full of himself. Kyohei broods and hides his face behind his breakfast bowl as he forces more rice in his already full mouth. “You felt grateful.”
“It’s nothing,” he insists. He wonders how his friends are even going to make out what he’s saying. Then again, they’ve had years’ worth of practice by now. “Totally nothing. What about you, you’re going out with Noi today! When are you going to propose to her? You’ve known her for years.”
Takenaga flushes a little but Yukinojo exclaims excitedly and points at him. Kyohei’s startled. He has no idea what he did this time to make that scary reaction come out again. “So this is about love then, isn’t this?”
“WHAT?” Kyohei shouts in shock, almost choking on his rice. He forces himself to swallow between the coughs. Yukinojo’s smug smile is even wider, if possible. Takenaga looks questioning with his eyes widened. The flush still hasn’t properly gone away.
“You changed the topic to Takenaga’s love life,” Yukinojo explains his conclusion, eyes narrowed a little. Sometimes Kyohei really wants to just punch his face in, especially during awkward moments like these. His face feels hot, and that’s just totally wrong because this has nothing to do with love or anything stupid like that, and he’s being falsely accused in here. “Doesn’t that mean something?”
“It means nothing,” Kyohei insists sharply while glaring at Yukinojo. They’re both leaning forward, heads tilting intimidatingly. Why they keep having these fights of will, he doesn’t know. He also doesn’t know why Yukinojo has a habit of acting like he’s always right when he’s definitely not right at all.
“That makes sense,” Takenaga sighs next to Yukinojo. Kyohei’s face snaps at him. Damn betrayal. He can’t take this. “If you associate the topics with each other…”
“I DON’T,” Kyohei snarls dangerously. “Stop acting like you know everything. He’s leaving when he wakes up. Just wait and see.”
“Kyohei,” Yukinojo wails unhappily. “Don’t be so rash! You don’t dislike him, do you? You could try to get to know him! You even went to his concert last night -”
“Not listening,” Kyohei announces as he gets up on his feet to take the emptied bowl to the sink. “It’s not like I went there to meet him, I was just curious and my parents and the master’s voices kept nagging me. It was stupid. Never doing that again.”
“He’s impossible,” Takenaga sighs disappointedly. Yukinojo nods and Kyohei purses his lips. He doesn’t deserve this treatment. It isn’t like anything happened or anything.
“Morning,” a voice says and they all turn their heads. Natsu’s gotten his trousers back on but his hair is still sleepily in wild disarray as he slumps towards the breakfast table. Takenaga stands up and Yukinojo jumps right after him, eyes sparkling mischievously.
Kyohei wonders if his friends will ever stop embarrassing him. They’re as transparent as they can be. Natsu’s eyes are a bit widened in shock. He looks more awake now.
“I need to go and get ready,” Takenaga announces, attempting to sound all lazy. Yukinojo nods and pats his back with a laugh. “I’ve got some things I need to do upstairs. Enjoy yourselves!” he chimes and winks at Kyohei who’s got his lips pressed into a tight line to keep the curse words inside. They’re totally not nailing the natural act. Even Natsu doesn’t look convinced. “See you later!”
They both walk away quickly and Kyohei slouches back to the fridge. He hits his head to the door a few times while Natsu just keeps looking at him, his mouth curved in a cat-like smile. He’s enjoying his moment of mirth as Kyohei opens the fridge door and mutters him to help himself to anything he wants. He just wants to get this over with.
He hums to himself absently as he picks up a small package of pudding. Sugar would be much appreciated now, he tells himself as he straightens himself up, feeling a bit more content and self-confident. He’ll give Natsu a cup of coffee and kick him out without a further word. Then it’s all over. Good. No problem.
There’s a hand on his shoulder, pulling him backwards. “Hm?” he mutters stupidly as he turns his torso around and then there are soft, plump lips on his and the pudding falls on the floor with an audible clatter. His body and mind start fighting each other, signals getting mixed up and confusing and angering him as he just stands there stupidly while Natsu’s arms slip around his lower back to pull him closer. His lips are moving too, insistently, and Kyohei flushes in angry realisation.
He wants to get away. He wants to freak out and curse and kick the man furiously until he’s bruised up and yards away from the boarding house, but he also wants to pull him closer and answer the hungry kiss that’s trying to urge him to open his mouth and let the man’s tongue past the tightly clenched rows of his teeth. Is he this deprived or what is this? His entire body feels electrified and turned on all of sudden. He doesn’t think he’s ever had a rush like this, not even with Sunako. With her it was always pretty much gentle and slow arousal. Now this feeling just struck him out of nowhere like a lightning bolt.
To hell with it. He dives with the feeling, opens his mouth and feels Natsu’s tongue pushing in and meeting his. Natsu’s pleasant scent is flooding his senses and his mouth feels full and tingly as the kiss makes his stomach drop unpleasantly, urging him to push for more of it. He’s never kissed like this, breaths loud and heavy and heads turning as they rapidly explore each other, trying to satisfy the sudden intense need of each other. Kyohei’s fingers are clasping Natsu’s locks, pulling him closer, while Natsu’s hands travel lower to grab his rear. The saliva all over his chin is making his skin feel cold.
There’s a horrified roar that returns Kyohei back to his senses. His eyes wildly look for the interrupter before he spots Takeru with his hands clasped over his eyes and jaw dropped. He reacts quickly, shoving Natsu away and crying out himself, feeling immensely violated.
He grabs the man from the hair at the back of his head and starts rapidly dragging him towards the front door, heart hammering in his chest and blood boiling. Natsu wails in pain and stumbles to keep up until Kyohei pulls the door open and kicks the man out. Natsu’s back collides with the rocky wall and he gasps, wiping his mouth to the sleeve of his hoodie.
“PERVERT!” Kyohei accuses him. Natsu’s eyes darken and he crosses his arms, lips a bit pouted as he tries to keep his anger issues at check. Kyohei feels explosive and is ready to punch the man down the long fall to a rocky pavement.
“It’s not like you wouldn’t have kissed back,” Natsu challenges him, his eyes narrowed in accusation. He’s not yelling; his notation is mostly like a humourless snort. “You were the one giving me signals.”
“NO I WASN’T!” Kyohei roars back furiously. He can hear steps behind him - Yukinojo and Takenaga are rushing down the stairs. Yukinojo goes after Takeru who’s probably still frozen in shock. That’s not really something Kyohei would’ve wanted the young boy to see. He’s flushed scarlet and humiliated as Natsu gives him that apathetically disappointed look from under the cover of his fringe.
“Whatever,” the man scoffs and starts walking down the stairs. Kyohei watches after him. Something’s tearing him but he can’t react to it. It’s probably the overwhelming need to just go and beat the man up. Natsu fishes a cigarette from his pocket and lights it, looking morose.
“What did you do?” Takenaga asks him, laying his hand over Kyohei’s shoulder. Kyohei pushes it away with a silent glare and walks past him back inside, leaving him alone outside. He hears the sound of the car door. Great, soon he’ll be gone. Good.
“So you’re just going to let him get away?” Takenaga yells after him. Kyohei scratches his hair furiously and groans. He’s developing a headache and he can’t make any sense out of his thoughts anymore. His body feels alerted and pumped up with adrenaline. He could start throwing furniture, if he wasn’t so much against Takeru seeing it.
He starts jogging up the stairs. “Kyohei!” Yukinojo yells after him. Takenaga’s sigh echoes all the way upstairs. Takeru isn’t speaking. Kyohei hurries to his room furiously, blood pounding in his ears and hands shaking furiously.
He slams the door behind him and crashes to his bed. The wave of emotions make him throw a fit on the bed - he punches it and rolls around and tears his hair, unable to get rid of the awful feeling. Everything smells like Natsu and he hates it. He has no idea what happened, but obviously no one can be trusted. It’s infuriating.
At least the man is gone now, and he’d better remain that way. He really doesn’t need yet another crazy stalker who might as well be looking for a chance to rape him for his looks. It’s a curse, this face of his, one he wants to horribly mutilate every now and then just to make it all stop. There’s no guarantee it will, though, and he isn’t particularly fond of pain.
His appetite is gone and he doesn’t feel like doing anything anymore. The waves of depression rush over him and drain him of any energy he might normally possess. He doesn’t move around for hours, not when he starts getting thirsty or when his stomach grumbles. He doesn’t even to go the bathroom.
The memory of Sunako’s face bothers him. Her silhouette by his window, the smothering sensation in his chest. It’s been a long time already. He doesn’t know why it feels so bad now. Maybe it’s just the fear of never again receiving something like it had been.
When the sun starts setting and paints the room golden, Kyohei buries his face in his pillows and chokes down his cries.
--
“You’re an idiot,” Takeru scolds him as he lies on the couch leisurely, snacking on fried prawns and watching some anime reruns from the television. He ignores the small boy completely, acting all nonchalant as he bites off half of the prawn to drown his sorrows in food. “Kyohei!”
“Ah, love has struck him off his feet!” Ranmaru declares. Kyohei’s eyes narrow in annoyance and he’s steaming inside, but trying to remain composed as he munches on his food bitterly. One would think his friends would leave him alone already but no. No one ever does. It’s been over a week yet even Ranmaru is at his throat about it. At least he should be gone by the evening. He’s moved in together with his fiancé. Apparently it’s going alright. Sometimes he gets kicked out and sleeps over a night or two. That’s completely irrelevant, though.
“Kyohei!” Takeru tries again and pinches his cheek. Kyohei pushes his hand away, finally looking at the boy grumpily.
“What?!” he snaps, pissed at the constant intrusion. It’s his private life. Just because he had -
“You’ve been sad ever since you kicked out that man you kissed!” Takeru insists and Kyohei groans and buries his face in his hands. He’ll never live this down, seriously. Even the kid who should really have no say in the matter is against him. “Don’t you think it’s time to find him?”
“Be quiet,” Kyohei whines and curls up a little in defence. “You’re such a bother, you don’t get it at all, do you…”
The boy pouts and crosses his arms, glaring at him as he lousily starts munching on another fried prawn, eyes glued on the screen. “Let him be, Takeru,” Takenaga speaks up from the stairs as he comes down, arm wrapped around Noi’s hips. Kyohei glares at them briefly before returning to his own little moody state, even more upset than before if possible. “It’s his loss.”
“But…” Takeru wails insistently. Ranmaru sighs dramatically and sits at the end of the couch. Kyohei kicks him lightly, not eager to share his space. “Maybe you should listen to your heart, Kyohei,” he suggests with a thick and honeyed voice that makes him sick to his gut. “You did kiss him…”
“Shut up,” he snarls dangerously as he places the empty bowl on the floor, chewing on the last mouthful of prawns spitefully. He really doesn’t want to hear it anymore. There’s really nothing to defend himself with, everything he can possibly say will just make it sound worse and worse. “I’m just happy he’s gone.”
“Then you don’t mind me throwing these away, do you, Kyohei?” Yukinojo chimes in and suddenly Natsu’s face peers at him from the CD covers that are pushed right in front of his face. Kyohei’s body jolts a little and he almost reaches out for them before he manages to pull his hands back to himself, heart hammering. He can’t look away from the CDs. Yukinojo is so going to destroy them, he’s so going to…!
“You nosy brat!” he exclaims heatedly, body tense. He has no idea why he’s making such a big deal out of it. It’s not like he would’ve listened to the CDs anyway. “Don’t go through my stuff! He practically shoved them in my hands, it’s not like I asked for them!”
“But you didn’t throw them away either,” Yukinojo exclaims victoriously, eyes wide as he argues against him. “You have feelings for him.”
“I don’t!” he rages. How many times does he have to repeat it before anyone believes him?! “Go ahead, throw them away! Even if I cared about him even for a little bit, there’s no way I’d get in contact with him again! It’s over! So let me be, won’t you!?”
“I’ll throw them away then,” Yukinojo threatens him, the CDs pulled against his chest. Kyohei glares at him. He really doesn’t want him to. Who cares, though. He turns his head away stubbornly and looks at the commercials coming from the TV without really seeing them. His senses are wired on Yukinojo who’s standing behind the couch. Yukinojo, who’s soon going to dispose of his last remainders of the man who’s been bothering his thoughts for way too long already.
“You’re awful, Yukinojo!” Noi cries out. She’s behind the couch as well and her shrieking voice is only adding to Kyohei’s headache. He closes his mind and starts counting numbers to keep his calm. “Can’t you see he’s heartbroken? Don’t be so cruel!”
“I said I’m not heartbroken…” Kyohei mumbles and grinds his teeth together. Everyone ignores him and starts arguing about the CDs right behind his back. Takeru shrugs at him, looking all innocent and pitying. Kyohei smacks his lips in annoyance and flips to another channel to get a distraction.
“I’ll throw them away, Kyohei,” Yukinojo finally announces. Everyone’s quiet, looking for his reaction. He refuses to move or flinch, just stares at the TV screen in faked boredom, lips pressed tightly into a thin line. “Fine then,” the boy snaps at him and starts walking away. Kyohei tries to swallow down the nasty lump in his throat but fails.
“I’m not sure if you’ve opened these,” Yukinojo yells at him from around the kitchen area, “but the newest one has a phone number slipped inside.”
“WHAT?” Kyohei yelps and jumps up on his feet, breathing erratic and heart hammering. He runs after his fun-sized friend and snatches the CDs from his hands, opening their cases to see a tiny shredded piece of a bill with a telephone number scribbled on it. Everyone is staring at him.
“What are you looking at!?” he bellows as he snaps the case shut nonchalantly, lips pursed as he acts innocent. Yukinojo is grinning at him and Noi’s eyes are sparkling. Everyone looks really weird and scary as he glares at them warily. “Stop looking at me like that…”
“You’re so transparent,” Ranmaru tells him from the couch, cocking his head with a smug smile. “If you really like him that much, maybe you should pay him a call.”
“Go for it, Kyohei!” Takeru exclaims excitedly as he jumps on the couch and pumps his fists up in the air. Kyohei gets the shivers as he swallows, unable to come up with a proper defence.
“It’s just good music,” he murmurs as he starts his great escape and jogs towards the staircase lousily. “Call him, Kyohei!” Noi shouts after him and Takenaga chuckles. “IT’S JUST GOOD MUSIC!” Kyohei insists loudly as he disappears to the corridor, fleeing away from the curious spectators as he opens the CD case again and pulls out the bill.
…What is he doing? He stops in his tracks and curses heavily, ending up leaning against the wall. What is he even supposed to say? Obviously Natsu had left the note before he had kicked him out, which means it basically stands for nothing now. It had been him who had been an ass anyway, and it’s not like Natsu wouldn’t have known his address to swing by if he wanted to like all the other stalkers.
He slips the bill shakily back inside the CD cover and speeds up his steps as he heads towards the solidity of his room. He isn’t able to come up with any solution to the problem, except for calling the man, but there’s no way he can just call him and there’s nothing to say even if he did it.
He hides the CDs to his wardrobe so that the nosy brat, more commonly known as Yukinojo, won’t get his hands on them again and start threatening him. He’s much better off being able to make his own decisions like everyone else on this planet.
--
It takes him a few days to think ‘to hell with it’ and dial Natsu’s number from his mobile phone. He’s almost afraid the man won’t answer him, which is ridiculous because there’s no way Natsu can tell beforehand that the caller is him because he doesn’t have his number.
“It’s Natsu,” the man’s voice answers carelessly. He sounds mildly curious whilst being annoyed and chewing on something, whatever that something might be. “Who is it?”
“How old are you?” he snaps at the man without thinking further. The line stays quiet for a while - even the chewing sound stops. Kyohei’s heart hammers in his chest as he wonders if the man has recognised him or not. The light at the intersection he’s supposed to pass turns green and he keeps walking, ignoring the annoying squealing whispers somewhere behind him.
“Thirty-seven,” Natsu finally answers him, his voice low. There’s a sniff and some more of the chewing. “Old, huh?”
He is. Twelve years older than him, Kyohei realises and groans, pinching the skin between his eyes furiously. He can’t seriously be getting so wound up with this. “You’re so old,” he accuses the man angrily, because really, Natsu is pretty much middle-aged yet he still dared to kiss him, knowing fully well he was much younger. “That’s sick!”
“Mmh. “
“Don’t say just ‘mmh’!” Kyohei snarls, pouting at the phone. The man is impossible. At least he doesn’t act his age. He has a feeling he’s being the victim of Natsu’s middle-age crisis or something, and it isn’t exactly flattering. “You should be married with kids!”
“Kids… hmm… I have zero,” Natsu tells his, speaking a little louder. He’s joking with that careless attitude of his again, and Kyohei can tell he’s slowly easing up a little, closer to an actual smirk with each word. “Wife… well.”
Kyohei’s stomach drops. “YOU HAVE A WIFE?!” he bellows at the phone. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!”
“Zero,” Natsu’s voice comes out as a joking hiss from the speaker. Kyohei furrows his brow - why is he getting played around like this? It’s totally not fair. “I’m a rock star,” Natsu continues with a humorously smug tone and a chuckle. “Women want flings with rock stars, not husbands.”
Somehow Kyohei thinks he could doubt that a little, but he lets Natsu’s claim to just be.
“Where are you?” he finally decides to ask with an embarrassed mutter. He can finally locate the group of girls following him - it’s starting to grow. Well, he’s getting closer to his university, it’s only understandable, he assumes.
The speaker distorts the sound of Natsu’s laughter a little bit. “Practice. I’m taking a break~” Kyohei scoffs to that, not entirely convinced that the break is a rewarded one. “How so? Miss me?”
He’s flushing scarlet, he knows that without a mirror, and chews his lip angrily. “No!” he insists with a hiss, eyeing back in paranoia, eager to keep this conversation just between the two of them. Natsu doesn’t need any of his bloodthirsty fangirls after him. “You left your number! So I called!”
“Just a little bit then?” Natsu insists, making Kyohei’s blood boil. He just said he didn’t! “Want to see me? This afternoon. 11:59 and 59 seconds in front of the café. Yes?”
“I’ve got university classes!” Kyohei reminds him while grinding his teeth together. The group of girls behind him is starting to disturb the traffic and unrelated pedestrians. It makes him roll his eyes. “I can’t make it to that! I get out at eight.”
“Eight, huh,” Natsu hums back thoughtfully. “Hmm, I get it, I get it. In the evening 11:59 and 59 seconds then~”
Kyohei grimaces, starting to feel pissed. “No, I’m sleeping at that time, in my own, comfortable bed. Half ten, if you’re lucky, I want to have dinner first. No way I’ll go anywhere with you without eating first,” he snorts, feeling quite pleased with himself. “Yes or no, your pick.”
“…Fine,” Natsu agrees, sounding quite cranky already. “You’ll come?”
“I’ll come,” Kyohei promises, starting to speed up his steps as the crowd increases its decibel-level and starts catching up with him. “Don’t forget! I’ll definitely come so if you don’t, I’ll break your CDs! I’ll definitely do it!”
“I’ll come, don’t sweat,” Natsu coughs hoarsely and spits something somewhere. Maybe he was chewing gum. Could make sense. “I’ll see you then,” the man still mumbles to the phone and hums absently. “Bye.”
“See you,” Kyohei confirms and cuts the call, glancing back warily again. The screaming it produces makes his ears ring and he decides to run the last few blocks, hearing the clacking of maybe a hundred pairs of heels approaching him as he dashes forward, slipping his phone in the pocket of his jeans and clutching his bag better.
“Such a bother,” he curses at himself breathlessly, hoping to god he won’t have a roomful of girls batting their eyelashes and pressing against him chattily in the lecture hall. One of these days, he’s seriously going to punch them, girls or not. There’s only so much rude intrusion he can take on a daily basis.
--
“Hop on,” Natsu’s voice calls out for him. Kyohei blinks at the white, old car inside which the man is sitting. “Come on, quickly. I’m not allowed to park here.”
Kyohei curses, already having a bad feeling about this. He circles the car and hops on to the passenger’s seat. Natsu starts driving before he even manages to fully slam the door shut. He rolls his eyes before turning around to look at Natsu. He can’t hold back the wide smile he feels coming forth.
“Where are we going?” he asks insistently, curious about their date. Natsu glances at him briefly, looking a bit as if he’d be lost in thought. “Come on, tell me!”
“I need to go and get something,” Natsu mumbles and lights up a cigarette. He opens the window but Kyohei still grimaces at the foul smell. Of course the man smokes. He should’ve expected it.
After that, the drive becomes awkward. Kyohei starts doubting himself - this probably wasn’t a good idea after all. There’s nothing to say for either of them and it’s already dark outside. Kyohei gives up the hope of the night being any fun. He wonders if they’re going to do anything at all. Natsu turns the radio on and strums his fingers to the wheel absently as he drives.
Kyohei can’t read him. He has no idea what the man is thinking or planning, and it’s starting to freak him out a bit. He’s relieved when the car pulls over at some kind of block building and Natsu hops out, motioning for him to follow. Kyohei follows him inside the building, getting the creeps.
“Your place?” he asks anxiously as he follows him up the stairs. There doesn’t seem to be an elevator. “What are we picking up?” He hardly ever goes to stranger’s houses, for safety reasons. Sometimes in really bad cases he’s gone to some girls’, like when he needed to get that stupid anatomic doll back to Sunako, but girls and men are two entirely different things. Natsu might actually be able to do something he doesn’t want him to.
Natsu doesn’t look back at him as he walks inside. He grabs a bottle of scotch from his table and takes a bit before shakily putting it back. He better not plan on driving then anymore, Kyohei thinks angrily from the doorway as he peers inside the messy apartment. Natsu’s belongings have been scattered messily around the room. Miss Nakahara wouldn’t tolerate it.
He doesn’t really want to stay here either, and things grow even more awkward and threatening when Natsu crashes on the bed sluggishly. “What do you want from me?” he asks Kyohei, his head tilting backwards limply as he peers at him from the bed, legs crossed and eyes mostly covered by his fringe. There’s something dark and helpless about him as the corner of his mouth twitches. He looks at the verge of disgusted. “Sex? Then come and get it,” he chuckles, his tone a bit on the side of mad. Kyohei stares at him by the closed door, dumbly frozen and not quite managing to get out any words to answer.
“Hurry up already!” Natsu bellows furiously. He pulls his shirt over his head and whisks it to the floor, hair tousled and a dark and teary smirk on his face as he laughs, voice void from any actual delight. “It’s why you called, isn’t it?”
“It’s not -” Kyohei tries to object. He finally snaps and lunges at Natsu when the man pays no heed to his attempt of an objection and starts unzipping his pants angrily. “Stop that!” he shouts at the man, starting to feel a bit desperate as he tries to fight Natsu’s hands away from his crotch. There’s a struggle until Natsu crashes down to lie on the bed and forcefully pulls Kyohei to lie on top of him. “Let go!” Kyohei bellows furiously, only getting an insistent and raging roar of “IT’S FINE!” as answer. Natsu’s knees are jabbing into his sides and he’s clutching on the front of his shirt to pull him closer, lips quivering in fury.
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” Natsu growls at him darkly, his head tilted and hair sprawled all over the white pillow. “All those weird questions, everything, you just wanted this. So just take it, I’m cool with it. What else would you be doing in here?”
“CALM DOWN!” Kyohei finally snaps and grabs Natsu painfully by the hair, making him flinch and squirm uneasily. The man’s breathing is rapid and his eyes peer up at him as he finally settles on lying limply beneath him with an apathetic expression. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Natsu doesn’t answer him. He shoves his chest with a snort and a grimace, appearing unimpressed. “If you’re going to be a pussy, leave,” he orders him strictly with a nonchalant voice. “Stop screwing with me.”
Kyohei groans and presses his lips tightly together to contain his venomous hiss of ‘who the hell is the one screwing with people in here’. Natsu’s behaviour is ridiculous and immature, and he’s lost Kyohei long ago. There’s no logic to follow, just mere absurdity that cannot be explained at all. “Stop being an idiot,” he barks at Natsu and refuses to remove himself from between the man’s legs. “I’m not here for sex!”
Natsu snorts disbelievingly and turns his head to avoid his gaze. Kyohei has no idea what’s bothering the man. It’s frustrating. “Natsu!” he tries to urge the man to speak up and shoves his shoulder determinately. “What the fuck is it with you…”
“Leave,” the man croaks from beneath him and turns his torso around to bury his face in his pillow. “Hurry up and leave,” the man insists wheezily, his voice now muffled by the pillow. Kyohei has no idea what to do or how to react - Natsu is acting disturbingly bipolar, one moment roaring at him and nearly raping him and then curling up to himself. He sounds a bit teary.
He must be cold too. The room is chilly and Natsu’s skin is exposed, his shirt still discarded somewhere on the floor. His shoulder trembles ever so slightly and something flares up in Kyohei’s body. He presses his lips tightly together and leans down to wrap his arms around the man as tightly and securely as he can. Natsu’s muscles are strained and he’s barely breathing. Kyohei’s mouth feels dry. He has no idea what he should do now.
“For some reason… I can’t get you out of my mind,” he admits, speaking without fully thinking beforehand. Natsu half-heartedly pushes him a bit but he only tightens his hold and buries his face in the chilled skin of the man’s shoulder blade. He just wants to encourage Natsu somehow, cheer him up. He’s never really been good with that, he can’t even cheer himself up. It doesn’t take away the pressing obligation to try. “I don’t know why. I don’t understand any of this, but… Maybe we’re becoming friends,” he wonders, feeling his heart itching in his chest horribly. “I care about you.”
Natsu’s chuckling sorrowfully in the pillow, sounding unconvinced. Kyohei turns him around and suddenly their faces are strangely close. He can feel Natsu’s breaths on his face, can see the way his tired eyes wander on his features. It’s like that for a while, with the intense need to just dip his head to catch Natsu’s lips into a kiss. The older man’s body is soft and firm around him, manly and definitely nothing like Sunako’s.
He’s never really gotten far enough to think about this. Does he even like men? He’s never really thought of liking anyone at all, except for back then when he liked Sunako enough to even get attracted to her in a sexual sense. He isn’t sure if he even has a preference, he realises, as Natsu’s chin rises slightly from the pillow, his eyes searching Kyohei’s desperately. It’s weird how he likes individuals, not certain body types. Now, though, Natsu is right there and his entire being practically begs him to just dive with the feeling.
He does. His entire body is overwhelmed with intense arousal as he keeps kissing Natsu deeper and deeper. His arms snake under Natsu’s and the man’s hands clutch his forearms as their bodies press together amidst their heated kisses. Kyohei feels out of breath as he goes for more and more of the welcoming moistness Natsu grants him. They keep pulling each other closer as they struggle on the bed, Natsu moaning beneath him. Kyohei almost wants to go all the way.
When Natsu’s hand tries to travel down towards the button of his jeans, he grabs it by the wrist, stopping him. Natsu withdraws from the kiss breathlessly and stretches his fingers, eyes wildly searching Kyohei’s for an explanation for the sudden halt. He tries to fight Kyohei’s grip but he presses the man’s hand strongly against the mattress and leans down to kiss him more gently and carefully, eyelids sliding shut. Natsu answers shakily, his hips jolting hastily.
When Natsu’s hand stops resisting and the man sighs in the kiss, Kyohei removes his hold and lets the man’s fingers thread through his hair carefully. He can feel the man’s heartbeat against his chest as he presses another peck on the man’s swollen lips and enjoys the way it makes his muscles relax and skin prickle happily.
“Why are you here?” Natsu asks him with a tired murmur. His eyes are open only by a crack as he wraps his arms around Kyohei’s shoulders to keep him close. Why indeed, Kyohei wonders anxiously. He just knows he doesn’t want to leave.
He cosies up against the man and rests his head in the curve of Natsu’s neck, fingers curled around the fleshy shoulder. Natsu’s chest keeps rising and falling softer when his breathing evens out and Kyohei tries to understand it all.
Love, his mind tells him and he grimaces defiantly. No it isn’t, he tries to reason with the absurd near-realisation. They barely even know each other, it can’t be. It has to be something shallow and stupid and there has to be something seriously wrong with him to feel weak and yearn like this.
Natsu breaks his thinking process by sitting up and pushing him up as well, his eyes sinking back to the exhausted apathy they’d previously depicted. Kyohei purses his lips as the man leans back to the support of his hands and tilts his head sloppily.
His face is beautiful.
He turns his head quickly away. No, no, no, no, no. He has to snap out of it. He’s just dozed up on hormones after all the kissing and… and… Oh shit, he had kissed Natsu. “Are you going?” the man asks him with a hoarse voice. Kyohei can hear his pout from his voice. Natsu does that, he realises in terror. He makes that face and tone of his when he acts like everything means much less to him than what it actually does. “Is that so,” the man nods and falls back on the mattress with a heavy thump. He doesn’t really move after that.
Kyohei turns his head back to peer down at Natsu who has his arms folded under his head for support. “Go ahead,” Natsu urges him. It’s kind of painful. His chest feels tight as he tries to pep-talk himself in his head to get up and leave because this is ridiculous and who knows what might happen to him here if he’s stupid enough to stay. Natsu has already proved to be unpredictable.
He can’t walk out on this though. He fakes an exaggerated yawn and stretches, letting his body fall back on top of Natsu. It hits the air out of the older man’s lungs and Natsu curses breathlessly beneath him. It makes him break into a giddy laughter.
“What are you laughing at?” Natsu grumbles underneath him. Kyohei’s body shakes as the laughter erupts from his lips. He rolls around and grins widely at the older man who looks at him with a baffled expression, eyes wider again. It only makes his mood light up even more and he chuckles, poking the man’s forehead playfully.
“Secret~” he insists, smiling goofily. He isn’t exactly sure what he’s laughing at either. Natsu, probably, he decides as he studies the man’s perplexed face from close proximity.
He stays. Eventually Natsu pulls his shirt back again and plays the guitar for him, cheering up little by little. He looks befuddled that Kyohei’s still there, that he’s staying and chatting happily and vividly with wild hand movements and facial expressions when he really gets into something, like the menu of the recently opened sushi bar near to the master’s café.
“Stay with me,” Natsu’s raspy voice appeals to him in the darkness after they’ve sleepily slipped under the thin duvet and cuddled together to leech warmth from each other. Kyohei can’t make out his expression even when he brushes the man’s soft face with his fingertips. The arms around him pull him closer and Natsu buries his face in the hollow of his neck, warm breath and tangled hair tickling the sensitive skin.
“Maybe,” he promises to think about it. Whether his parents would be proud of him or not, he doesn’t know. None of it matters either.
--
---> part 3/3