i'm clearly procrastinating, because writing this post took about an hour...
elanielyn, wintersdancer and pinkeuphoria1 requested I do this. Sorry for not really answering anyone's - I had no idea how this thing works/goes and, um, I'm kind of distracted by school + a fic in progress that I'm hoping to finish, even though I'm not quite sure if I will. Oh well. If I won't, you'll just get something else someday so enough about that~
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Hiroto is careful when he lefts his baby boy up, wrapping rough hands around the body and craddling him against his chest. He has come straight from work, and he supposes he must still smell of petrol and grease, because the baby wrinkles his nose in disgust. He calms down with a few last sniffles, though, and Hiroto wonders if he has come to associate the smell with his dad. Even though Nao is never alone, Hiroto still spends all the time he can at the hospital with her; due to her condition she has been recommended to spend hospitalized two weeks instead of the usual one.
Hiroto's hands are rough and calloused, and there's a big scar running through the palm of one of them from that time he grabbed a knife until it delved into his skin. They're not the kind of hands that are made to hold a baby, to calm him down, but his son still gurgles happily when Hiroto caresses his cheek carefully. He's so tiny and fragile, and he looks even more so between Hiroto's clumsy hands, against his old, dirty jacket. Hiroto's hands are shaking a bit and he's afraid of dropping the baby, so he sits down on the armchair again. Nao is still sleeping peacefully.
Nao's family had accepted him at the end. They didn't like him, but after Nao got pregnant, after she refused to leave him, they had finally accepted her relationship with Hiroto. They had been supporting and helpful during the pregnancy, because even working himself to exhaustion, Hiroto still didn't make enough to provide for all his wife and their baby would need. It had hurt him at first, and it still did at some level, to be so dependent on them, not to be able to provide his family what they needed by himself, but he was not enough of a fool to refuse their help.
It makes him think about his own family. Ren is living with them now, his mother having finally moved with one of her men. She hasn't been to see them during the pregnancy, and she hasn't come to see the baby either. Hiroto doesn't really mind. He thinks about his own father, about the factory and the debts and all the excuses Hiroto has tried to make for him during all these years, to try and come to terms with what happened. He's past the rage at this point, but the bitter betrayal still hurts when he thinks about Ren and how young he was. Hiroto had not been older than sixteen himself, had not understood either why he was suddenly alone and working, deprived of his dreams and expectations, why he had left them alone.
Hiroto has promised himself not to be like that. He has promised himself not to leave his family behind no matter what, to be a father worth loving, a father his son will be able to come for advice, to feel proud of. Hiroto mutters the promise again for his son, softly and whispered, and the baby stirs in his arms at his voice - he spent hours talking nosense to Nao's tummy when she was pregnant because it always made her laugh. The baby whines when Hiroto leans in to press a kiss on his forehead, and Hiroto suddenly remembers he must stink and he hasn't shaved in three days. He chuckles lightly, and places the newborn back into his craddle.
As the baby falls asleep Hiroto watches and strokes his tiny fingers with a careful hand, and wonders if he'll look like Nao or like him. And maybe, he thinks, maybe this is how happiness feels.
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The wail is sudden and desperate, shrill and high and needy.
...Newborn baby baby babyy ;;A; ♥♥♥ Their baby. They got a babyyy.
because even working himself to exhaustion, Hiroto still didn't make enough to provide for all his wife and their baby would need.
I feel so sorry for him ;;_____; Asdfghjkl but his love is enough, his presence and all. He's an amazing person. He should see thattt.
Ren is living with them now, his mother having finally moved with one of her men.
Rennnnn ;;A; I'm not sure if this is a happy thing or not. It's just Hiroto's dysfunctional family and it makes me want to hold them all so tight. Waa. Hiroto's mum... asdfghjkl go see your son's baby, it's a big deal for him.
Hiroto mutters the promise again for his son, softly and whispered, and the baby stirs in his arms at his voice - he spent hours talking nosense to Nao's tummy when she was pregnant because it always made her laugh.
I love this man so much. Sweet, sweet insecure and tender father ;;______;
As the baby falls asleep Hiroto watches and strokes his tiny fingers with a careful hand, and wonders if he'll look like Nao or like him.
*incoherent sound between a squeal and a wail* You clearly wrote this with the intention of killing me. Too muchhhh. I can't handle this much at once asgjksgsgls. I love you so fucking much right now. I do. ;;A;
Now I'm just thinking about a tiny, chubby and cute newborn baby, Hiroto's foul odour, imperfect hands and a stubble. I'll go and cry now with content. Thank you.
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I'm really glad you liked it ♥ Your flaily comment makes me happy ♥
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