fic: The Elephants of Our Lives
Title: The Elephants of Our Lives
Author: prologuesized
Beta: pinkeuphoria1
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: ...Last time I checked, I didn't own any humans.
Summary: Kame finds Jin waiting for him on his doorstep, mourning after something lost.
Author Note: ...I honestly do not know. But elephants are adorable and make me weep. Plus since pinkeuphoria1 already nicely did the beta job... it would've been kind of useless if I wouldn't post this. So. Here it comes.
Wordcount: 2,000
The Elephants of Our Lives
An insistent drizzle disturbs his vision of the road. The radio in his car plays the news in a quiet volume as he passes spotlight after spotlight created by the tall streetlamps illuminating faintly in the dark. The neon signs exceed them in the level of brightness, granting him a small headache.
It’s late again. It often is nowadays. Too much to do, too little time. Friends come in and fall out of his busy life filled with overscheduled days and three hour rests whenever he can catch them. He comforts himself with the thought that he’s probably not the only one and there always has to be someone who has it worse. There’s no need for complaints - at least he loves what he does, even if it gets overwhelmingly tiring every now and then.
He pulls over to the driveway, too tired to even make a brief stop at the nearby grocery store to stock up his kitchen. He’s certain he’s still got some eggs, instant noodles and perhaps even a package of prawns thrown busily in the freezer at home. They should last for one lonely night and, to be honest, he’s too tired to have much of an appetite either.
The roar of the traffic sounds distant as he gets out of the vehicle and curses at the small droplets instantly staining his glasses.
He sort of wishes he’d have someone to go home to. He almost considers jumping back in the car and driving at his parents, but it’s a little too late to disturb and there’s no point in uselessly worrying them.
He covers his head with his suitcase and heads towards his flat in the apartment house. To his dismay, the elevator is out of use and he has to practically drag himself up four staircases.
When he reaches his destination his journey comes to an abrupt stop. His heart pounds painfully in his chest as he tries to detect whether he’s hallucinating or not because it’s just a bit too absurd to be true.
They’re thick-skinned beings, unable to become one. The sun is red and the air is humid, more so as a trunk (a hand) softly brushes his own. There’s a distance he wants to overcome, one that begs to be disregarded. The puzzle pieces don’t quite fit, yet he can’t remember ever feeling so at peace.
A little baby elephant walks its way between them, and all Kame knows is that he wants to look after it for the forever and ever to come.
“…Jin?” he hears his own voice call out in genuine yet unsure surprise. The midnight blue hood slides backwards, revealing more of the man’s face as he raises his head. His chin pokes out, mouth a mere miserable and passive line drawn on his face. It’s difficult to see the man’s eyes from under the shadow casted by the hood and his dishevelled black fringe that veils the dark orbs thinly.
It’s moments like these Kame accepts the dull throbbing in his head without getting angry at the older man. He fastens the pace of his footsteps until he reaches the front door, fishes the tiny key from his pocket and slides the door open before offering a helping hand to the crouched figure beside him.
Jin takes it and slouches inside before him, head slightly bowed in defeat. The door closes with a loud click from the lock and after that it’s just the shuffling of clothes as they pull out their shoes and Kame pushes past Jin to get them slippers from the shelf. He helps Jin remove the damp and dirty hoodie and trails his way to the bathroom, leaving it on top of the growing laundry pile.
He hopes Jin hasn’t been waiting for long, and even more than that he hopes the tabloids haven’t noticed him, never mind his nosy neighbours prone to devouring the juicy little details of his love life and whatnot like small predators. They aren’t exactly a stress relief.
Jin pushes his back gently with his hand, attracting his attention again. Kame turns around appalled, not having noticed the man following him to the bathroom instead of getting cosy in the kitchen or on the couch like he normally does.
“What’s wrong?” he asks gently and takes the man’s restless hand in his. He brushes it gently and feels Jin tensing before him. He looks angry at himself and ashamed.
It’s a normal look on him when it’s just the two of them.
“Jin,” he prods him a bit more accusingly, taking a hold of his other hand as well. Jin grimaces and fidgets nervously, biting his lip and exhaling in frustration.
It hasn’t been a good day, Kame assumes. There probably haven’t been many of those in a while.
It’s a bit sad it always has to be him who Jin goes to get support from, though. It stings just a little too deep, yet he finds himself unable to utter any words of protests as the man wraps his arms around his, pulling him towards the thin corridor.
“Don’t be such a wounded animal,” he sighs as he takes the cue.
Jin is a natural with babies. Kame lets the little elephant roam too free and
loses sight of it every sad now and then, but Jin’s absolutely perfect at keeping up with it and showering it with his attention and heart.
“It just sort of came to us,” Jin hums softly as he playfully shoves Kame. “It came out of nowhere and it’s not really ours yet it is. It’s definitely ours.”
Kame can’t help but agree.
They hit the couch and Jin snuggles silently against his side. Kame picks up the remote from under the decorative pillows and turns the TV on, surfing on the channels before he stops to some old drama on the reruns. Eventually Jin’s grip of his arm lessens and he proceeds to holding hands for a good fifteen minutes. After that, for the remainder of the drama Kame struggles to find interest in, his hand keeps brushing his shoulder, stomach, thigh and neck hesitantly.
Kame doesn’t say a word. He never does as he lets Jin get comfortable. Usually Jin’s a bit more articulate, but all he can assume now is that today isn’t one of those days.
The commercials start running and Jin rests his forehead on Kame’s shoulder. His breathing is even and almost soothing.
Kame hates to admit it, but it does crown his day.
“Hush,” he whispers and strokes the man’s scalp. “…Whatever it is, it’s alright.”
Jin entwines their fingers and presses with his tightly, his eyes seeking for acceptance in Kame’s. Whether he’ll ever find it… Kame isn’t sure. Even if he’ll try to dress his thoughts in words, there will always be a hollow undertone to them, and Jin will always hear it enhanced.
There are things Jin wants to say, the poor Jin with a heart too big to live at ease. Kame knows them all already and shakes his head to him ever so slightly, trying to convey the message that Jin already knows - that he just isn’t able to hear it all over again. It’s a bit too painful to imagine the tone of Jin’s hasty voice as he apologizes over and over again for the harsh reality and a pair of lone tears on his cheeks like the drizzling raindrops.
“Don’t mourn,” Kame murmurs silently in Jin’s ear and brushes his hair back. “The elephant isn’t dead yet. Don’t you dare mourn.”
“I killed it,” Jin answers with a breathless gasp, trembling fingers settling on Kame’s shoulder for support. “I killed the elephant, and it was just a baby.”
“No you didn’t,” Kame disagrees and shakes his head a little, fingers running down Jin’s cheeks towards his chin. “It just grew up, wise and independent.”
Jin shuts his desperate mouth after that and wraps his strong arms around Kame’s form. Kame lets him hold him and loathes himself as he catches himself wishing it’d be a constant habit between them. He gulps and beats himself mentally as he dares to selfishly wish Jin would be waiting for him every day with a honeymoon smile on his face, ready to embrace him with a full heart.
If they still were a cradled baby, he probably would do just that, eyes little shiny stars twinkling on the midnight sky. A wink for greeting, another for a smile, and a bucket of water for appreciation.
One unfortunate day, Jin loses the little baby elephant. It’s been in and out of Kame’s sight for quite a while already. Walking besides Jin is giving him a motherfucking rash, but when he takes his distance by stomping away, the little baby stays with Jin.
That is, until it doesn’t.
It does come back though. It takes a while for it to return to its mourning parents, and when it does something always feels out of shape. Jin starts growing agitated and broken.
It’s probably the hardest thing Kame has ever had to watch, and their little elephant has grown in a way that has made it slightly unrecognizable for them. No matter what he does, he can’t make it be such a baby again.
“It’s not our baby,” Jin insists as he mourns, walking in a circle. “It isn’t really mine.”
Jin needs a legacy to live on, and no matter how hard Kame wants to give it to him, he never can. Their little baby elephant was never that kind of an elephant, just a mere wanderer who found peace with them.
Until they didn’t find peace with it anymore.
“We were only happy for a while,” Kame reminds him quietly. His eyelids slide shut as Jin weakly settles to lie down on the couch, still holding him against his chest protectively. “We were only making a desert for ourselves.”
Jin catches his lips for a hesitant kiss. It’s something they don’t often do anymore, something they don’t quite have the strength and courage to reach out for anymore. There’s a hollow in Jin where Kame settles comfortably, clicking painfully perfect in place.
Filling the hollows doesn’t make them any more whole, though.
The soft press of lips against lips is a fine painkiller. There’s a danger of getting hooked to the medicine, though, and maybe that is what makes each time so slippery, clumsy and difficult to stop.
Jin is moist and welcoming, reflecting the same familiar invitation he used to before he grew so, so very tired.
Kame holds the elephant. He soothes it and whispers into its ear quietly when Jin’s away. He tells it lonely little things that flow out of him. It’s tied to him with strings he doesn’t know how to detach.
Nowadays, he’s the one who looks after it. He’s had to grow too. Sometimes he finds himself tracing sunken footprints back to the beginning where he mourns, feeling lost, alone and incomplete.
The once-so-little elephant stands proudly by his side as he subtly caresses it, afraid of getting caught by the hunters. The world is filled with danger and having such a weak spot is a true danger, yet he can’t give it up.
He’s matured enough to look after the elephant. Sometimes Jin returns and they meet at their mourning place, trunks (hands) entwined, bodies rejecting the unwelcome feeling of friction as their thick skins press together.
Mostly, though, it’s just him and the mysterious once-so-little elephant.
“I rained,” Jin whispers to him hollowly, his voice echoing in the dangerously pressing silence. “I’m sure you rained too, but you should’ve shared your water with me. If you had, maybe we could’ve grown some grass.”
Kame thinks about it, but only for a while.
“You need to make a baby elephant, one that is truly yours,” he tells surely and taps his fingers on Jin’s frozen chest. “That kindness of yours has to go on.”
He truly means his words, even if they sting a little too much.
Eventually, the elephant will die, that he is certain of.
It just needs a little more time, just like the years so far.
Author: prologuesized
Beta: pinkeuphoria1
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: ...Last time I checked, I didn't own any humans.
Summary: Kame finds Jin waiting for him on his doorstep, mourning after something lost.
Author Note: ...I honestly do not know. But elephants are adorable and make me weep. Plus since pinkeuphoria1 already nicely did the beta job... it would've been kind of useless if I wouldn't post this. So. Here it comes.
Wordcount: 2,000
The Elephants of Our Lives
An insistent drizzle disturbs his vision of the road. The radio in his car plays the news in a quiet volume as he passes spotlight after spotlight created by the tall streetlamps illuminating faintly in the dark. The neon signs exceed them in the level of brightness, granting him a small headache.
It’s late again. It often is nowadays. Too much to do, too little time. Friends come in and fall out of his busy life filled with overscheduled days and three hour rests whenever he can catch them. He comforts himself with the thought that he’s probably not the only one and there always has to be someone who has it worse. There’s no need for complaints - at least he loves what he does, even if it gets overwhelmingly tiring every now and then.
He pulls over to the driveway, too tired to even make a brief stop at the nearby grocery store to stock up his kitchen. He’s certain he’s still got some eggs, instant noodles and perhaps even a package of prawns thrown busily in the freezer at home. They should last for one lonely night and, to be honest, he’s too tired to have much of an appetite either.
The roar of the traffic sounds distant as he gets out of the vehicle and curses at the small droplets instantly staining his glasses.
He sort of wishes he’d have someone to go home to. He almost considers jumping back in the car and driving at his parents, but it’s a little too late to disturb and there’s no point in uselessly worrying them.
He covers his head with his suitcase and heads towards his flat in the apartment house. To his dismay, the elevator is out of use and he has to practically drag himself up four staircases.
When he reaches his destination his journey comes to an abrupt stop. His heart pounds painfully in his chest as he tries to detect whether he’s hallucinating or not because it’s just a bit too absurd to be true.
They’re thick-skinned beings, unable to become one. The sun is red and the air is humid, more so as a trunk (a hand) softly brushes his own. There’s a distance he wants to overcome, one that begs to be disregarded. The puzzle pieces don’t quite fit, yet he can’t remember ever feeling so at peace.
A little baby elephant walks its way between them, and all Kame knows is that he wants to look after it for the forever and ever to come.
“…Jin?” he hears his own voice call out in genuine yet unsure surprise. The midnight blue hood slides backwards, revealing more of the man’s face as he raises his head. His chin pokes out, mouth a mere miserable and passive line drawn on his face. It’s difficult to see the man’s eyes from under the shadow casted by the hood and his dishevelled black fringe that veils the dark orbs thinly.
It’s moments like these Kame accepts the dull throbbing in his head without getting angry at the older man. He fastens the pace of his footsteps until he reaches the front door, fishes the tiny key from his pocket and slides the door open before offering a helping hand to the crouched figure beside him.
Jin takes it and slouches inside before him, head slightly bowed in defeat. The door closes with a loud click from the lock and after that it’s just the shuffling of clothes as they pull out their shoes and Kame pushes past Jin to get them slippers from the shelf. He helps Jin remove the damp and dirty hoodie and trails his way to the bathroom, leaving it on top of the growing laundry pile.
He hopes Jin hasn’t been waiting for long, and even more than that he hopes the tabloids haven’t noticed him, never mind his nosy neighbours prone to devouring the juicy little details of his love life and whatnot like small predators. They aren’t exactly a stress relief.
Jin pushes his back gently with his hand, attracting his attention again. Kame turns around appalled, not having noticed the man following him to the bathroom instead of getting cosy in the kitchen or on the couch like he normally does.
“What’s wrong?” he asks gently and takes the man’s restless hand in his. He brushes it gently and feels Jin tensing before him. He looks angry at himself and ashamed.
It’s a normal look on him when it’s just the two of them.
“Jin,” he prods him a bit more accusingly, taking a hold of his other hand as well. Jin grimaces and fidgets nervously, biting his lip and exhaling in frustration.
It hasn’t been a good day, Kame assumes. There probably haven’t been many of those in a while.
It’s a bit sad it always has to be him who Jin goes to get support from, though. It stings just a little too deep, yet he finds himself unable to utter any words of protests as the man wraps his arms around his, pulling him towards the thin corridor.
“Don’t be such a wounded animal,” he sighs as he takes the cue.
Jin is a natural with babies. Kame lets the little elephant roam too free and
loses sight of it every sad now and then, but Jin’s absolutely perfect at keeping up with it and showering it with his attention and heart.
“It just sort of came to us,” Jin hums softly as he playfully shoves Kame. “It came out of nowhere and it’s not really ours yet it is. It’s definitely ours.”
Kame can’t help but agree.
They hit the couch and Jin snuggles silently against his side. Kame picks up the remote from under the decorative pillows and turns the TV on, surfing on the channels before he stops to some old drama on the reruns. Eventually Jin’s grip of his arm lessens and he proceeds to holding hands for a good fifteen minutes. After that, for the remainder of the drama Kame struggles to find interest in, his hand keeps brushing his shoulder, stomach, thigh and neck hesitantly.
Kame doesn’t say a word. He never does as he lets Jin get comfortable. Usually Jin’s a bit more articulate, but all he can assume now is that today isn’t one of those days.
The commercials start running and Jin rests his forehead on Kame’s shoulder. His breathing is even and almost soothing.
Kame hates to admit it, but it does crown his day.
“Hush,” he whispers and strokes the man’s scalp. “…Whatever it is, it’s alright.”
Jin entwines their fingers and presses with his tightly, his eyes seeking for acceptance in Kame’s. Whether he’ll ever find it… Kame isn’t sure. Even if he’ll try to dress his thoughts in words, there will always be a hollow undertone to them, and Jin will always hear it enhanced.
There are things Jin wants to say, the poor Jin with a heart too big to live at ease. Kame knows them all already and shakes his head to him ever so slightly, trying to convey the message that Jin already knows - that he just isn’t able to hear it all over again. It’s a bit too painful to imagine the tone of Jin’s hasty voice as he apologizes over and over again for the harsh reality and a pair of lone tears on his cheeks like the drizzling raindrops.
“Don’t mourn,” Kame murmurs silently in Jin’s ear and brushes his hair back. “The elephant isn’t dead yet. Don’t you dare mourn.”
“I killed it,” Jin answers with a breathless gasp, trembling fingers settling on Kame’s shoulder for support. “I killed the elephant, and it was just a baby.”
“No you didn’t,” Kame disagrees and shakes his head a little, fingers running down Jin’s cheeks towards his chin. “It just grew up, wise and independent.”
Jin shuts his desperate mouth after that and wraps his strong arms around Kame’s form. Kame lets him hold him and loathes himself as he catches himself wishing it’d be a constant habit between them. He gulps and beats himself mentally as he dares to selfishly wish Jin would be waiting for him every day with a honeymoon smile on his face, ready to embrace him with a full heart.
If they still were a cradled baby, he probably would do just that, eyes little shiny stars twinkling on the midnight sky. A wink for greeting, another for a smile, and a bucket of water for appreciation.
One unfortunate day, Jin loses the little baby elephant. It’s been in and out of Kame’s sight for quite a while already. Walking besides Jin is giving him a motherfucking rash, but when he takes his distance by stomping away, the little baby stays with Jin.
That is, until it doesn’t.
It does come back though. It takes a while for it to return to its mourning parents, and when it does something always feels out of shape. Jin starts growing agitated and broken.
It’s probably the hardest thing Kame has ever had to watch, and their little elephant has grown in a way that has made it slightly unrecognizable for them. No matter what he does, he can’t make it be such a baby again.
“It’s not our baby,” Jin insists as he mourns, walking in a circle. “It isn’t really mine.”
Jin needs a legacy to live on, and no matter how hard Kame wants to give it to him, he never can. Their little baby elephant was never that kind of an elephant, just a mere wanderer who found peace with them.
Until they didn’t find peace with it anymore.
“We were only happy for a while,” Kame reminds him quietly. His eyelids slide shut as Jin weakly settles to lie down on the couch, still holding him against his chest protectively. “We were only making a desert for ourselves.”
Jin catches his lips for a hesitant kiss. It’s something they don’t often do anymore, something they don’t quite have the strength and courage to reach out for anymore. There’s a hollow in Jin where Kame settles comfortably, clicking painfully perfect in place.
Filling the hollows doesn’t make them any more whole, though.
The soft press of lips against lips is a fine painkiller. There’s a danger of getting hooked to the medicine, though, and maybe that is what makes each time so slippery, clumsy and difficult to stop.
Jin is moist and welcoming, reflecting the same familiar invitation he used to before he grew so, so very tired.
Kame holds the elephant. He soothes it and whispers into its ear quietly when Jin’s away. He tells it lonely little things that flow out of him. It’s tied to him with strings he doesn’t know how to detach.
Nowadays, he’s the one who looks after it. He’s had to grow too. Sometimes he finds himself tracing sunken footprints back to the beginning where he mourns, feeling lost, alone and incomplete.
The once-so-little elephant stands proudly by his side as he subtly caresses it, afraid of getting caught by the hunters. The world is filled with danger and having such a weak spot is a true danger, yet he can’t give it up.
He’s matured enough to look after the elephant. Sometimes Jin returns and they meet at their mourning place, trunks (hands) entwined, bodies rejecting the unwelcome feeling of friction as their thick skins press together.
Mostly, though, it’s just him and the mysterious once-so-little elephant.
“I rained,” Jin whispers to him hollowly, his voice echoing in the dangerously pressing silence. “I’m sure you rained too, but you should’ve shared your water with me. If you had, maybe we could’ve grown some grass.”
Kame thinks about it, but only for a while.
“You need to make a baby elephant, one that is truly yours,” he tells surely and taps his fingers on Jin’s frozen chest. “That kindness of yours has to go on.”
He truly means his words, even if they sting a little too much.
Eventually, the elephant will die, that he is certain of.
It just needs a little more time, just like the years so far.