fic: Vitamin D Sunsets
Sun has radiation and can be classified as a deadly piece of burning rock and matter high up in the forever-silent and broadening space sky. That is something you believe as you sit with your legs crossed on his balcony and keep napping your sunglasses every second or so. Snapping has something consistently calming in it. A small attack. Sunglasses love you; they’re your present best friend, your future best friend.
The horizon has flared up like one of the beautiful watercolour paintings you remember seeing while touring art galleries with the eventually out-fallen classmates whose smiles and sad faces you have yet to forget. The sky’s soft, watery stripes of reddening orange have little spots of paint accruals raking their claws at the perfectness of it all. It’s disturbing and violent mess of colours and shades. Horizon has a habit of becoming warm yet sad when the sun runs its course to get away and the dishevelled imperfectness of it all is inspiring to say at least, something that makes you wonder, makes your thoughts run high and fast.
But maybe it’s just you, fighting the beauty of it all. Maybe it’s just you looking at the sunsets with your raging eyes and weakened limbs, maybe it’s just you harbouring your feelings.
You’re a boat lost on the evening sea with beautiful, orange sunsets that follow you to your nightmares and wherever you choose to place your expensively insured superstar toes.
The world is ridiculous.
Years are out to get you, have been for quite some time and every orange sunset whispers at you maliciously how time has yet again passed and how you can never again return to the days where you made your decisions and left what was important. Years have defined your limbs, your entire body (a ridiculously insured together-splat mass of still working organisms) and will soon take away what they have given after all the hair-dye has been used to cover the grey and make up can’t hide the disgusting wrinkles. It’s just that time has a habit of being very, very slow at times.
You watch the sun through the darkened lenses and keep tapping. You remember his burning sun-eyes, laughter that hit like waves of toxic radiation that people love to intake (what about your vitamin D?), his running mind spinning circles on and off your eyesight. On and off, light and darkness, smiles and being gone - that’s what are the basic strengths and flaws of the sun you have lost your admiration for.
Or maybe it’s just you, it’s always about you, you, you. Because you can’t follow the sun - it’s impossible. And the sun will never stay for you.
The sun has space to run through after all. It’s on an entirely different level than the stiff stick-like you. You stay where you are. When you are thrown you fly, you fly and if you miss then that’s too bad. You don’t move on your own, you never do. You have yet to grow legs after all, something that can support yourself. Until that, all you are left with is lying where you are and being cast around like a mere object of toying. The highly insured you.
You wonder how much you are worth in money, really.
You lie down on the rooftop and see the eventually setting darkness and start counting hours for the time you have left without the sun, for the time you can avoid the restlessness and ridiculous vitamin D phobia. You don’t want sun-burned eyes.
They’ll only make you blind and go high, they make you see spots and moving blurs of colours. You aren’t ready to let your vision become a mindless watercolour painting, you aren’t ready to give your sight of reality away. You don’t want to go that far only to be sitting all alone in the darkness again.
Smaller, safe stars start to become invisible and you feel pity for yourself for living in the middle of a metropolis where the lights and pollution veil the most of them hidden.
Ring. Such a happy little melody.
You hit the green button and raise the small object on your ear.
“I’m coming over.”
Idiotic how your sun has become to work just the opposite it was supposed to.
Vitamin D dosage is ahead as you cut the call and adjust your sunglasses.