I don't wanna cry alone (help me out, search my light)
KAT-TUN is important to me. That's the first thing I want to say. KAT-TUN... is probably one of the most important things in my life. My emotions with my life... well, they do exist but not quite in that sense. My emotions, my life is channelled to KAT-TUN. So they're important.
And now there's a fandom crisis and I'm so lost. All these explosive emotions. Sadness.
I did see this coming - it was coming all along. And it's understandable. But it just came so soon, I didn't expect this to happen this soon.
They are my number one thing in the world. KAT-TUN, Kame, Jin, Junno, Koki, Ueda and Maru. They're all my number one thing in the world. It's love in a weird sense. It's not the kind of "Oh my god I love that person and want to marry him!!!" or anything like that, it's not that kind of love. But it's love. Genuine, strong, gentle and painful.
What's important now is staying strong. Having belief, giving support. Not only between all of us fans, but to let our support reach the band members as well. Because I have a feeling that a very scary rollercoaster is on its way and we need to be prepared, we need to stand strong and hell, fuck the rest. This will define KAT-TUN, all its members, all of us fans all over again. Our worth, what we are, what are our emotions, what is important and can we survive losses. Can we survive seeing KAT-TUN broken apart to pieces and taking one piece amidst away.
We can, let me tell you. This will be hard but we can. We can do this. We can cry, we can feel helpless, we can be angry. It's alright to be angry. For years and years, hell, since they were teenagers they've been together and now they're broken. But they're struggling to keep up. And now we need to do so too.
Jin needs to be loved. KT-TUN needs to be loved. Everyone deserves the love and support, there's no one to blame. This is about lives, not about something as little (and big, so big) as KAT-TUN. This is about all of them. It's about life, lives. It's about JE. Johnny.
It's about so many things that it's hard to even say. Because when Jin goes solo in America it's different - he can be more like the true him compared to what he can in Japan with KAT-TUN. When he feels uneasy, when he's not sure if he'll mess up and he gets all quiet and withdrawn. It's not because he doesn't love KAT-TUN or Japan, it's because he has so much to give and shout out, but he's unsure and tries to hold many things in because, well, media's a bitch. And because he can't be his true self he gets sort of... shut off.
Freedom does good for him.
I'm scared of what's coming now though. Kame has to take over K and A - third of the band. And we all know him. The workaholic. He will do his best to fill in both him and Jin. He will push himself to the edge trying to replace something he can't, to give everything, himself and the missing piece of Jin. He can't replace a person. He just can't, it just doesn't work. But hell, he will try. And I'm worried. And now all the people will attack him - you know him and the yarakashi. He's going to go through some really tough time. It's going to be painful. He'll try to give so much and he'll exhaust himself and all he will get as a result is people attacking him. He's not good with that. He'll just break. I'm scared he'll break.
And Jin. What if Jin's success in America isn't good enough? Will Johnny kick him out of JE? What if it does go well, will he be returning to Japan and occacionally go to America? What? Because I doubt he's returning to KAT-TUN, no matter what. It's better not to believe in it. Johnny won't let him. If he does badly - he needs to be scolded. No more KAT-TUN for you, boy. If he does well - well, that's good, he'll go solo, sure! But I'm still confused. Only time will tell.
But now. Support.
We can unite through this. Everyone. We, KAT-TUN. For now, with all the feelings raw and painful... we're all one. We're all ripped apart my sadness, loneliness and missing him. Feeling lost.
We're one now.
So those going to the concerts - hell, make them know. Make them know the support, make them know. Unite. Everyone.
This post wasn't really supposed to turn out like this. But it did.
I love them all. And I probably always will. And this...
Well, this is a sad chapter. Nothing will ever be quite the same. But we can do this.
Promise.
(please don't blame or attack anyone)
And now there's a fandom crisis and I'm so lost. All these explosive emotions. Sadness.
I did see this coming - it was coming all along. And it's understandable. But it just came so soon, I didn't expect this to happen this soon.
They are my number one thing in the world. KAT-TUN, Kame, Jin, Junno, Koki, Ueda and Maru. They're all my number one thing in the world. It's love in a weird sense. It's not the kind of "Oh my god I love that person and want to marry him!!!" or anything like that, it's not that kind of love. But it's love. Genuine, strong, gentle and painful.
What's important now is staying strong. Having belief, giving support. Not only between all of us fans, but to let our support reach the band members as well. Because I have a feeling that a very scary rollercoaster is on its way and we need to be prepared, we need to stand strong and hell, fuck the rest. This will define KAT-TUN, all its members, all of us fans all over again. Our worth, what we are, what are our emotions, what is important and can we survive losses. Can we survive seeing KAT-TUN broken apart to pieces and taking one piece amidst away.
We can, let me tell you. This will be hard but we can. We can do this. We can cry, we can feel helpless, we can be angry. It's alright to be angry. For years and years, hell, since they were teenagers they've been together and now they're broken. But they're struggling to keep up. And now we need to do so too.
Jin needs to be loved. KT-TUN needs to be loved. Everyone deserves the love and support, there's no one to blame. This is about lives, not about something as little (and big, so big) as KAT-TUN. This is about all of them. It's about life, lives. It's about JE. Johnny.
It's about so many things that it's hard to even say. Because when Jin goes solo in America it's different - he can be more like the true him compared to what he can in Japan with KAT-TUN. When he feels uneasy, when he's not sure if he'll mess up and he gets all quiet and withdrawn. It's not because he doesn't love KAT-TUN or Japan, it's because he has so much to give and shout out, but he's unsure and tries to hold many things in because, well, media's a bitch. And because he can't be his true self he gets sort of... shut off.
Freedom does good for him.
I'm scared of what's coming now though. Kame has to take over K and A - third of the band. And we all know him. The workaholic. He will do his best to fill in both him and Jin. He will push himself to the edge trying to replace something he can't, to give everything, himself and the missing piece of Jin. He can't replace a person. He just can't, it just doesn't work. But hell, he will try. And I'm worried. And now all the people will attack him - you know him and the yarakashi. He's going to go through some really tough time. It's going to be painful. He'll try to give so much and he'll exhaust himself and all he will get as a result is people attacking him. He's not good with that. He'll just break. I'm scared he'll break.
And Jin. What if Jin's success in America isn't good enough? Will Johnny kick him out of JE? What if it does go well, will he be returning to Japan and occacionally go to America? What? Because I doubt he's returning to KAT-TUN, no matter what. It's better not to believe in it. Johnny won't let him. If he does badly - he needs to be scolded. No more KAT-TUN for you, boy. If he does well - well, that's good, he'll go solo, sure! But I'm still confused. Only time will tell.
But now. Support.
We can unite through this. Everyone. We, KAT-TUN. For now, with all the feelings raw and painful... we're all one. We're all ripped apart my sadness, loneliness and missing him. Feeling lost.
We're one now.
So those going to the concerts - hell, make them know. Make them know the support, make them know. Unite. Everyone.
This post wasn't really supposed to turn out like this. But it did.
I love them all. And I probably always will. And this...
Well, this is a sad chapter. Nothing will ever be quite the same. But we can do this.
Promise.
(please don't blame or attack anyone)