i'm trying hard to focus tonight, but my mind is wandering.
today, pinkston forced me to watch teenage mutant ninja turtles, the movie. the one that came out a couple of years ago i guess? and when i say forced, i mean forced. i mean, we already went to see it in the movies when it came out, so i didn't really see the need to watch it again. i guess it was cool and everything and i know pinkston is gonna like, come into my room and punch me to death within an inch of my life but it's just my simple little opinion. when i saw it in the movies it actually seemed kinda cool at the time, but then you put it on a tv screen and no matter how big pinkston's screen is, it just doesn't make it seem any more awesome.
what a waste of a morning.
private
i'm an asshole.
i don't know if there's any other way for me to say it. i'm an asshole.
it's only a matter of time before jemma comes raging at me with a knife threatening to chop my dick off, or something. i wouldn't put it past her. not saying she's psychotic, which, maybe she can be if given the chance.. but i really don't think it would be beneath her to do it. it was a stupid thing for me to do. to sleep with her best friend the night before she has to like, leave. i'm not supposed to care, but i do care. and i feel bad, now. i've had like a day or so to think about it and i feel bad. i mean, i just left her there. i woke up and i left her there. i've never done that before. that's something ryan does, and it's usually a mutual thing. people know what they're getting when they hook up with ryan but ugh.
i'm such a shit. and jemma's gonna rage at me and threaten to kill me, and then sterling's going to go all funny with me like he always does when i mention i like one of his friends. i can't predict, but i just know. and i think maybe jemma is on that cruise thing for a week or something so it doesn't matter, right? i know i initially wanted to piss her off, to make her feel like i felt when she cheated on me - because that was the worst feeling in the fucking world. especially when she held it back from me for so long and i had to find out from one of my best friends. she'll come back, and maybe nicole will have told her and maybe she will have cooled down. and i'll be in boston. she won't be able to chop my dick off with a kitchen cleaver when i'm in boston.
i feel like i need to talk to nicole, but i'm crap with words under pressure and i don't even know what to say to her. hey nicole, i kinda like you and i kind of took your virginity whoops, me, i'm a bad man and btw, i kind of wanted to use you in the beginning but then it all worked out you see? it's like a kidnapper who got attached to their captive. cool huh? i hope we're still cool.
uh yeah, no.
i really want to talk to sterling. i really want to confide in him. he's my frickin best friend. but somehow i just know that he's not going to be happy with me. nicole is like a sister or something to him. he'll hate me.
oh man, this plan was not fool-proof.
because i am a fool and even i spotted the holes in the plot.
dyl
oh my god i need to talk to you.
what a waste of a morning.
private
i'm an asshole.
i don't know if there's any other way for me to say it. i'm an asshole.
it's only a matter of time before jemma comes raging at me with a knife threatening to chop my dick off, or something. i wouldn't put it past her. not saying she's psychotic, which, maybe she can be if given the chance.. but i really don't think it would be beneath her to do it. it was a stupid thing for me to do. to sleep with her best friend the night before she has to like, leave. i'm not supposed to care, but i do care. and i feel bad, now. i've had like a day or so to think about it and i feel bad. i mean, i just left her there. i woke up and i left her there. i've never done that before. that's something ryan does, and it's usually a mutual thing. people know what they're getting when they hook up with ryan but ugh.
i'm such a shit. and jemma's gonna rage at me and threaten to kill me, and then sterling's going to go all funny with me like he always does when i mention i like one of his friends. i can't predict, but i just know. and i think maybe jemma is on that cruise thing for a week or something so it doesn't matter, right? i know i initially wanted to piss her off, to make her feel like i felt when she cheated on me - because that was the worst feeling in the fucking world. especially when she held it back from me for so long and i had to find out from one of my best friends. she'll come back, and maybe nicole will have told her and maybe she will have cooled down. and i'll be in boston. she won't be able to chop my dick off with a kitchen cleaver when i'm in boston.
i feel like i need to talk to nicole, but i'm crap with words under pressure and i don't even know what to say to her. hey nicole, i kinda like you and i kind of took your virginity whoops, me, i'm a bad man and btw, i kind of wanted to use you in the beginning but then it all worked out you see? it's like a kidnapper who got attached to their captive. cool huh? i hope we're still cool.
uh yeah, no.
i really want to talk to sterling. i really want to confide in him. he's my frickin best friend. but somehow i just know that he's not going to be happy with me. nicole is like a sister or something to him. he'll hate me.
oh man, this plan was not fool-proof.
because i am a fool and even i spotted the holes in the plot.
dyl
oh my god i need to talk to you.