Well, This Time I'm Not Going To Watch Myself Die.
So, this weekend has been pretty different. A weekend of tears and of unwanted realization...Or so that is how I personally see it. For right now, I have no desire to go too deeply into what exactly I am speaking of. However, you may look to Jamie's journal to get more backround information on the topic
( Read more... )
a pin point
-As we discussed, I think you are right in that what we uncovered is indeed a 'pinpoint,' or a focus of all the things that have been agitating you lately and contributing to the feeling of dissatisfaction lurking in the back of your mind.
I have lost freinds for reasons that I never saw as my fault in the past, but I now am unsure of.
-I don't think you can directly allign what has been bothering you with the reason those people left. What is bothering you is the excess; the reason they left seems to be the general change, and the existence of that action itself. I have to note, also, that they didn't seem to take any time to compromise, really have a heart to heart talk with you about it, or anything. So yeah...my point is, I'm not sure if the issue now and the issue then are exactly the same thing.
I have cried about not being able to be social and brave, but I have contributed to it with this.
-I think it'd be a long discussion, figuring out precisely how much and in what way smoking has influenced your social fortitude. The dilemma is that although your social skills have improved, the group of people with whom you can meaningfully exercise these skills has diminished. We'll be working on this.
This is something that I can sometimes hate with such a passion, but can always manage to come back to it after my 5 days of daydreaming on and off about it.
-I hear you. Even if it's only done on the weekends, smoking occupies an entirely inappropriate place in one's life if those weekends are eagerly anticipated because of the fact that they are 'destined' to be smoking orgies, so to speak. Again, the problem is excess.
I miss the people who didn't need to get fucked up in one way or another before playing a game or watching a movie.
-Amen
This is where my flaw was:It was too often.
True, for the both of us.
If we can manage to achieve these goals, I believe the two of us will be some of the happiest we have been in a long time.
-I wasn't exactly sure how to interpret this. Surely, this problem has built up for a while, but even during the middle stages of it, I never thought of myself as 'unhappy.' I guess I didn't realize that it made you so unhappy with everything as a whole? I don't know..
Hopefully we can find the right group of people, but this is all I have time to say right now. I'll see you later today dear.
Reply
If we can manage to achieve these goals, I believe the two of us will be some of the happiest we have been in a long time.
-I wasn't exactly sure how to interpret this. Surely, this problem has built up for a while, but even during the middle stages of it, I never thought of myself as 'unhappy.' I guess I didn't realize that it made you so unhappy with everything as a whole? I don't know..
By saying this I wasn't implying (sp?) that either of us were unhappy. I was saying simply that we may be happier over all. A person doesn't nessecerialy (god I can't spell) have to be unhappy just to be happier....Get it?
Don't worry, hun, this year (and more) has been absolutely great for me. I have not spent very much of it at all being unhappy, I hope you know that.
<3s
Reply
Leave a comment