(no subject)
I guess I'm supposed to take it like a champ but I can't help but feel a bit, I don't know, confused? Dejected? Frustrated? I can't place my finger on the emotion but there's a definite malaise when one starts getting left off the guest list. You wonder "Did I do something wrong?" The first time you kind of write it off, especially when people kind of get you back on the guest list. When parties get mentioned that you, once again, weren't invited to and your friends say "I'll mention it and I'm sure you'll be able to go" and then you still can't go... you start to wonder. You might say "Hey, have I done something wrong to person X?". "You'll have to ask them, Dan."
I don't know about other people, but I don't do well with that sort of commentary. I feel confused, dejected, frustrated, and it makes it very difficult to say "Hey, could you maybe let me know what's up?" There are people who can ask those questions without much in the way of emotion. I, however, am not one of those people. So since I don't particularly feel like letting people see me cry or yell I'm just going to passively yet aggressively post this to my livejournal.
I've been consistently sick all winter with flus, chest colds, and even an emergency trip to the hospital due to poisoning. Everything has been kind of going wrong starting with the day I got fired. I sit around all week with nothing to do but stare in the mirror thinking about how old and useless I've become and noting how ungirly I'm clearly going to be for the rest of my life no matter how many drugs they pump into me.
Seemingly trivial things have this way of hurling me into inconsolable depression now. I'm sure that anyone who tried to read this can't see since their eyes have no doubt rolled all the way into the back of their skulls and their ears are overwhelmed with the sounds of tiny violins. It's not that I expect explanations or even for people to care. I just don't have any other outlet anymore.
I don't know about other people, but I don't do well with that sort of commentary. I feel confused, dejected, frustrated, and it makes it very difficult to say "Hey, could you maybe let me know what's up?" There are people who can ask those questions without much in the way of emotion. I, however, am not one of those people. So since I don't particularly feel like letting people see me cry or yell I'm just going to passively yet aggressively post this to my livejournal.
I've been consistently sick all winter with flus, chest colds, and even an emergency trip to the hospital due to poisoning. Everything has been kind of going wrong starting with the day I got fired. I sit around all week with nothing to do but stare in the mirror thinking about how old and useless I've become and noting how ungirly I'm clearly going to be for the rest of my life no matter how many drugs they pump into me.
Seemingly trivial things have this way of hurling me into inconsolable depression now. I'm sure that anyone who tried to read this can't see since their eyes have no doubt rolled all the way into the back of their skulls and their ears are overwhelmed with the sounds of tiny violins. It's not that I expect explanations or even for people to care. I just don't have any other outlet anymore.