'Be more human.' That probably would have sounded nice, if I wasn't still hung up on the fact that I wasn't human anymore. I might have replied snippily if it would have helped... but then Willow was offering a mug of tea, and I was still feeling cold. So I took it with a weak, "Capice," blowing at the hot liquid before I took a sip.
I was just about to swallow as fear rose inside me again, out of nowhere. What now? From Willow, I had tea and the assurance of safety, so what was----oh.
Another redhead entered the kitchen, a smallish guy in well-worn clothes. He crossed right to Willow and I took a step back, recognizing the smell now--her mate. Shit. Had I gotten too close? I took another step away from the pair, clutching the mug of tea as if it would somehow protect me. He turned away from her and towards me, and my stomach lurched.
"Hey. I'm Oz." He held out his hand, and I considered refusing to shake again... I *wanted* to refuse to shake again. But something inside me was still quaking in fear, and wouldn't let me defy the order in Oz's eyes. I shifted my grip on the mug to free a hand, felt my head drop a little as I reached forward to shake. I hadn't meant to do that, either.
The smell of fear, to me, isn't a nice one. It gets wolfy antsy, but I don't like it. Like blood and poison, or something. Nudging Oz in the ribs with my elbow, I glanced at him to turn down the alpha a bit. We were all used to it, welcomed it, but we hadn't had a new wolf around to deal with for a while. Easy to forget how scary this whole ordeal could be.
"Oz is kinda the leader of our lil' group," I said, trying to brighten things up. "You don't have to be scared of him or anything, he won't bite. He's-he's like a big puppy!"
I arched an eyebrow at Wills and had to grin. She was much better at easing fears than I was, another reason why she was the main welcoming committee here. "A puppy? huh." I toned down the alpha vibes and sat down at the table. I shrugged at Terry and smiled. "I'd wag my tail but I'm currently without one."
The cinnamony anger smell had faded completely, but the fear smell was still there, it smelled like matches... sulfur. My 'wolf actually didn't mind the smell, not coming from a new 'wolf, but it made the Willow sunshine-happy scent fade and that was not of the good.
"She's right, you don't have to be afraid of me. You have wolf instincts now, and they fight with your human instincts, it's not an easy adaptation... there are rules your 'wolf wants to follow, but it's not like you get an instruction manual. That's one of the things that Halen is for, to teach you... there aren't any punishments during the learning process."
Punishments? My stomach flipped again even though I was feeling less initimidated now, and I pulled my hand back, wrapping it around the mug as if I were still cold. Oz was definitely not a puppy.
"Don't worry, I'm not afraid of you," I lied, doing my best to keep my face blank. I wasn't afraid of Willow... it seemed impossible to be afraid of someone so friendly, even sensing her power. But I was rather irrationally afraid of Oz. He was smaller than me, and didn't radiate the same aura of power his mate did... I shouldn't be afraid. Yet I felt as if the pressure of his eyes could be controlling, if I let it.
I took another sip of my tea and hoped werewolves couldn't like... read thoughts or anything. I wanted out of the kitchen, and I wanted it immediately. I wanted to be alone so I could get angry again, and keep from breaking down. "So when do I get a room?"
My expression didn’t change, it was clear Terry was still afraid no matter what he said. I tilted my head slightly and nodded. “That’s good. You don’t need to be afraid of me. You need to respect me... but fear isn’t necessary.” I could feel Willow fidgeting behind me, she was never comfortable with this part of an alpha’s job. She was the most caring person I knew, with the biggest heart, but she was starting to understand that anything that smacked of challenge had to be stopped right away. I watched Terry for a moment longer then stood casually. “I’ll show you to your room.”
"Thanks." I could do respect. ...probably. I'd never been all that good at it in the past, but I was sure I could handle it with Oz.
I gave the half-full mug a longing glance, but placed it down on the kitchen counter and followed the redhead out of the kitchen. He led me up a flight of stairs, and opened what seemed like a random door. Inside was a bed and a dresser-looking thing, plus some assorted furniture. The comfy-looking chair by the fireplace drew my attention immediately. As soon as I got outside, I was looking for firewood.
There were two windows with heavy curtains, and one other door... probably a closet. I figured the bathrooms were communal, sort of. I stepped into the room and smiled a little--I wasn't expecting it to be so nice. But looking around at the storage-type furnishings made me remember I didn't have anything to put in them other than the clothes i wore at that moment, and whatever was in my backpack.
"It's really nice..." I reached into my pocket, trying to gauge how much money I had by feeling the bills. It wasn't much, I could tell. But maybe enough for cleaner clothes. I'd been in these for almost two weeks, and the soap and water wash I'd employed every few days wasn't the best. I wouldn't normally have bothered, being on the run and all, but with my enhanced sense of smell, it had been driving me crazy.
I pulled the money out of my pocket and turned to Oz, straightening the bills and keeping them folded in my hand, trying not to look like a beggar. "Think this will cover the basics?"
Money was something I actually hadn’t been offered before. With the Giles and Willow handling the finances it wasn’t something I actual thought about too much. I held up a hand to Terry. “Actually, what we really need is a little manual labor... if you want to pitch in. There are all sorts of little repairs on the house to do and Willow says I am not allowed to try and fix the electricity again. Ever. We’re also trying to clear some of the underbrush along the main paths between here and the other cabins without doing too much damage to the forest.”
Terry hadn’t put away the money but he wasn’t shoving into my hands so I nodded to the door. “Come on, I’ll point out the way to the closest bathroom. There’s a big closet right outside the bathroom that has all sorts of supplies in it, from soap to sweats. Just take what you need.”
I blinked in surprise but followed Oz back into the hallway, shoving the money awkwardly back into my pocket. It was a little humilating... but Oz hadn't laughed at me, so I supposed I should take what I could get and not brood over my own idiocy. He showed me to a comfortably-sized bathroom, with a full tub and shower.
I was more interested in the supplies closet.
"I can do repairs. Electric, plumbing, structural... I helped build some houses back home. And I've cleared land before. Shouldn't be a problem." I did my best to sound capable. So long as I worked and avoided the other wolves most of the time, things might be alright...
I was just about to swallow as fear rose inside me again, out of nowhere. What now? From Willow, I had tea and the assurance of safety, so what was----oh.
Another redhead entered the kitchen, a smallish guy in well-worn clothes. He crossed right to Willow and I took a step back, recognizing the smell now--her mate. Shit. Had I gotten too close? I took another step away from the pair, clutching the mug of tea as if it would somehow protect me. He turned away from her and towards me, and my stomach lurched.
"Hey. I'm Oz." He held out his hand, and I considered refusing to shake again... I *wanted* to refuse to shake again. But something inside me was still quaking in fear, and wouldn't let me defy the order in Oz's eyes. I shifted my grip on the mug to free a hand, felt my head drop a little as I reached forward to shake. I hadn't meant to do that, either.
"...Terry."
Reply
"Oz is kinda the leader of our lil' group," I said, trying to brighten things up. "You don't have to be scared of him or anything, he won't bite. He's-he's like a big puppy!"
Reply
The cinnamony anger smell had faded completely, but the fear smell was still there, it smelled like matches... sulfur. My 'wolf actually didn't mind the smell, not coming from a new 'wolf, but it made the Willow sunshine-happy scent fade and that was not of the good.
"She's right, you don't have to be afraid of me. You have wolf instincts now, and they fight with your human instincts, it's not an easy adaptation... there are rules your 'wolf wants to follow, but it's not like you get an instruction manual. That's one of the things that Halen is for, to teach you... there aren't any punishments during the learning process."
Reply
"Don't worry, I'm not afraid of you," I lied, doing my best to keep my face blank. I wasn't afraid of Willow... it seemed impossible to be afraid of someone so friendly, even sensing her power. But I was rather irrationally afraid of Oz. He was smaller than me, and didn't radiate the same aura of power his mate did... I shouldn't be afraid. Yet I felt as if the pressure of his eyes could be controlling, if I let it.
I took another sip of my tea and hoped werewolves couldn't like... read thoughts or anything. I wanted out of the kitchen, and I wanted it immediately. I wanted to be alone so I could get angry again, and keep from breaking down. "So when do I get a room?"
Reply
Reply
I gave the half-full mug a longing glance, but placed it down on the kitchen counter and followed the redhead out of the kitchen. He led me up a flight of stairs, and opened what seemed like a random door. Inside was a bed and a dresser-looking thing, plus some assorted furniture. The comfy-looking chair by the fireplace drew my attention immediately. As soon as I got outside, I was looking for firewood.
There were two windows with heavy curtains, and one other door... probably a closet. I figured the bathrooms were communal, sort of. I stepped into the room and smiled a little--I wasn't expecting it to be so nice. But looking around at the storage-type furnishings made me remember I didn't have anything to put in them other than the clothes i wore at that moment, and whatever was in my backpack.
"It's really nice..." I reached into my pocket, trying to gauge how much money I had by feeling the bills. It wasn't much, I could tell. But maybe enough for cleaner clothes. I'd been in these for almost two weeks, and the soap and water wash I'd employed every few days wasn't the best. I wouldn't normally have bothered, being on the run and all, but with my enhanced sense of smell, it had been driving me crazy.
I pulled the money out of my pocket and turned to Oz, straightening the bills and keeping them folded in my hand, trying not to look like a beggar. "Think this will cover the basics?"
Reply
Terry hadn’t put away the money but he wasn’t shoving into my hands so I nodded to the door. “Come on, I’ll point out the way to the closest bathroom. There’s a big closet right outside the bathroom that has all sorts of supplies in it, from soap to sweats. Just take what you need.”
Reply
I was more interested in the supplies closet.
"I can do repairs. Electric, plumbing, structural... I helped build some houses back home. And I've cleared land before. Shouldn't be a problem." I did my best to sound capable. So long as I worked and avoided the other wolves most of the time, things might be alright...
Reply
With that, I left him in the hallway and made my way back down to Willow.
Reply
Leave a comment