Apr 19, 2006 16:52
Why does it seem that life changes on a daily basis. It's like no one has any remorse or a conscience. Drop and leave what you had like it was just sand on the beach. I'm not quite sure why everyone has these emotions. I feel like everyone hates me for no apparent reason. I've not changed, I'm still the same asshole I've been for the past some odd years. To decide to drop me now seems ridiculous. I guess I can survive on my own, I've still got a positive mental attitude. Happiness doesn't rely on others, I can get by no matter. A lot of the time I like the long drives alone, or just sitting outside staring at the sky. It also helps when you at least have one person to talk to while you stare and gaze. I'm not too worried about anything, the world re-arranges and fixes itself on a daily basis. That's how life goes. Friends are there for you through thick and thin, this experience just weeds out the fakes from the truth. Might as well get used to it, it'll be like this for the next 50 years of my sad life. I still have fun from time to time, I still have my music, my words and my few friends. Coasting along like each day was my last. As long as I know that if I were to die at any point in time, I'd still be happy is what keeps me going. Positive mentality is all I can have during these beautiful days outside. The sun is out and flowers are blooming, its impossible for me to spread about this hatred that others feel like bringing about. I'd much rather just have everyone hanging out, laughing and eating than throwing cold glances and whining because someone's there that you have no excuse to not like. Meet the immaturity that covers teenagers. Possibly one day they'll grow up and realize it's stupid to waste so much time and energy on it. Most things we do aren't worth it.
I know that I'll be leaving in a little over a year, I'll still talk to the people I love regularly and everyone else I'll see at a high school reunion in 20 years. I dont' dwell on my past, I don't even look for the future. I live at this very moment, that's all there is to do. Negativity is what brings this world to pieces. On that note I'm going to go spend time with my family, eat some food, laugh and watch tv on the new Big Screen. For once, I'm happy with where I'm at. No more wasted days and smiles.