It's Prussia. And if I could get you to Dresden, why the hell wouldn't I have gotten myself back to Berlin yet? You're not getting out of here any time soon.
[She doesn't miss a beat, because she's been expecting this, on some level or another.]
We're both Prussia, idiot. And since I was here first, you get to be known as Gilbert, rather than Prussia. You know, for clarity's sake. Congratulations.
Now that we have that settled, where the hell am I? I'm already sick of this place and I've been awake in it for about half an hour. I would like the other half of that hour to be on my way home. Or to a pub.
[Well, that just ruined his day. He was having such a good time with the shitty scenery and- Yeah. No. He's getting out of here.]
No. No. No. No. I am going home. It's Wednesday today, there's mid-week football on and...
How the hell- What insane stunt is this? Another planet? Another Prussia?
[He takes a big breath.]
Did someone pay you? I know, it has to be France and Spain. Did someone blond and perverted pay you really good to do this? [Spain's too cheap to pay, it has to be the blond.]
I don't know how wildly their personalities diverge, but I really could never see the France or Spain I know doing something this ridiculous. Who would even come up with it? I like them just fine, but they're idiots. [She's the mastermind of the group, obviously. Her friends could never pull something like this on her. And thank Fritz for the little miracle of Spain not gracing this place with her presence yet. The rest of them was bad enough.]
And I suppose, there's really at least three planets to talk about, one with your bunch, one with mine, and then this lovely little hellhole.
[He looks ill for a second and looks away.] They do ...things to me. [He waves it off dismissively, even though she can't really see.]
That's besides the point, right now. What's my bunch and what's yours? I get this isn't the best place to be out of three, so why am I here. [Because he deserves the best, always. So why is he in the worst hellhole right now.]
[If it seems she's looking at him like she's torn between wondering if he's crazy and thinking he's lame, that's because she is.]
Take the nations you know, switch their genders around, and you know what sort of place I come from. I'm not the only one from that particular world here; you can confirm with England or France, or Romana, if you'd like. Although good luck if you were expecting the last one in particular to be nice about it.
And I don't know why you're here. I don't know why any of us are here.
Good for you. I think we've figured that we're not the same person even though we're both Prussia, some how. So let me have a few minutes before I start dealing with it, or are you going to nag about how I'm not being the most awesome right now? Because I'm pretty sure I did just mention something about being misplaced to another planet.
Sure you're not looking for Vienna instead of Dresden? I mean, if you're lost...
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No, fuck Vienna. Dresden. I want Dresden. Who are you and can you get me to Dresden?
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You can't be Prussia.
I'm Prussia. I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt, Prussia. [Well, maybe not in the literal sense but who's keeping track.]
I'm Prussia. You're just... Wow, I know this is bad timing but you're really hot. You're almost as hot as me.
But I'm still Prussia.
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We're both Prussia, idiot. And since I was here first, you get to be known as Gilbert, rather than Prussia. You know, for clarity's sake. Congratulations.
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[Sarcasm, so much of it.]
Now that we have that settled, where the hell am I? I'm already sick of this place and I've been awake in it for about half an hour. I would like the other half of that hour to be on my way home. Or to a pub.
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[She'll see that sarcasm and raise one cocky smirk.]
This place is Fortuna, another planet, because apparently they can do that, now. You can't go home and the beer is utter crap.
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No. No. No. No. I am going home. It's Wednesday today, there's mid-week football on and...
How the hell- What insane stunt is this? Another planet? Another Prussia?
[He takes a big breath.]
Did someone pay you? I know, it has to be France and Spain. Did someone blond and perverted pay you really good to do this? [Spain's too cheap to pay, it has to be the blond.]
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And I suppose, there's really at least three planets to talk about, one with your bunch, one with mine, and then this lovely little hellhole.
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That's besides the point, right now. What's my bunch and what's yours? I get this isn't the best place to be out of three, so why am I here. [Because he deserves the best, always. So why is he in the worst hellhole right now.]
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Take the nations you know, switch their genders around, and you know what sort of place I come from. I'm not the only one from that particular world here; you can confirm with England or France, or Romana, if you'd like. Although good luck if you were expecting the last one in particular to be nice about it.
And I don't know why you're here. I don't know why any of us are here.
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[He makes a face and it almost looks whiny.]
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No need to cry about it, though, you'll look like a little girl.
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