Aaaaah, Prussia-san! You are in hell; I hope you enjoy your stay even when you piss your pants! But before you get eaten by a monster, you should buy a Hyundai when I invent a way to make them here.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut. Shut it. Shut up. [This isn't a nervous break down. Just so you know. It's called manic depression now.]
Your shitty cars are shitty! This is Earth! Because Fortuna's a stupid name for a planet. Who would name a planet Fortuna when it looks like this. How does that make sense?
How are you getting this?
Where are you?
Tell me, Korea.
TELL ME NOW. NOW BEFORE I DO PISS MYSELF AND ON THIS FUCKING SHITTY PHONE- THING. DAMNIT.
[ He frowns a little, thinking, then he replies, speaking slowly: ]
You have, aaahh. There are aliens. And they brought us all here. Here. It is another planet, and it is called Fortuna. You have a chip in you. It has made you with the strength of a human....
I saw Mister England get eaten by a monster and digested after I told him not to go into the woods. But he didn't listen. He lived somehow. Aahhhh.
If I were his mother, I would have insulted him as my firstborn of the womb and then disown him.
So, ah. That proves we are stuck here.
Would it help if I drew pictures for you as if you were a child too?
[He actually listened, and he pales (if it's possible...) just listening to Korea.]
I. I think I got it.
Just answer me one last thing: did.... did I get ...probed? [It's a really important question. So to emphasis on the importance of this, he's going to add threat.] I will fucking decimate you with my toe nails if you lie to me about this.
[ Korea watches this, a bit startled, a bit concerned. He's not sure what to do exatly besides wave his arms about. ]
Aaahhh, ahhh! It is a hard thing to take in, I know! You are acting like I did when I found out Starcraft isn't here. It is okay, ne! You will, aahh, adapt!
[He stops very abruptly, because freaking out is tiring, and braces hands on his knees. He wipes his nose on his sleeve and faces the little communicator again.]
Adapt. Ja, ja. I can- [Deep breath, Prussia. It's just the immortal bird that you have had your whole life and your only means of constant. No big deal, right.]
Korea. I need some beer. Get me some beer. Where is the alcohol?
Aaaaahh. There is actually a bar in Discedo. I almost volunteered there once! But got distracted because England-san was making me worried like a loving, Korean mother who has found condoms in her daughter's room. He deserves to be hit with a bamboo. I instead called him a shitface cause it is nicer.
Are you in Discedo? I haven't checked. If you are somewhere else, I do not know where you could get alcohol. I would like some if you find any, though!
[ that is all Korea has to say for now. 8| ]
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I.
I AM NOT PISSING MY PANTS [Maybe just a bit.]. AND YOUR HYUNDAIS SUCK.
[Is there a way to block on this thing. Fuu]
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You are on another planet called Fortuna, but ne, it is basically like hell!
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Your shitty cars are shitty! This is Earth! Because Fortuna's a stupid name for a planet. Who would name a planet Fortuna when it looks like this. How does that make sense?
How are you getting this?
Where are you?
Tell me, Korea.
TELL ME NOW. NOW BEFORE I DO PISS MYSELF AND ON THIS FUCKING SHITTY PHONE- THING. DAMNIT.
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I feel my heart shatter into thousands of pieces.
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A-And we're stuck here!
I wouldn't lie about this! Lying about this is what Japan does because he is Japan!
I tell honestly!
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...The truth.
Speak to me like I'm a very small child. I know it's hard to imagine that when I'm so blindingly awesome but. TRY.
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You have, aaahh. There are aliens. And they brought us all here. Here. It is another planet, and it is called Fortuna. You have a chip in you. It has made you with the strength of a human....
I saw Mister England get eaten by a monster and digested after I told him not to go into the woods.
But he didn't listen.
He lived somehow. Aahhhh.
If I were his mother, I would have insulted him as my firstborn of the womb and then disown him.
So, ah. That proves we are stuck here.
Would it help if I drew pictures for you as if you were a child too?
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I. I think I got it.
Just answer me one last thing: did.... did I get ...probed? [It's a really important question. So to emphasis on the importance of this, he's going to add threat.] I will fucking decimate you with my toe nails if you lie to me about this.
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( ... )
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He's actually a bit relieved.
And then he really looks at the comic.]
I DO NOT LOSE AT STARCRAFT. YOU KNOW WHO I AM? YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? WHAT I CAN-
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There's a notable absence.
There's no chirping, no feathers being ruffled, no pressure on his head.
Cue Prussia really freaking out now. Frantic sobs screams and headless chicken runs involved, no refunds available.]
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Aaahhh, ahhh! It is a hard thing to take in, I know! You are acting like I did when I found out Starcraft isn't here. It is okay, ne! You will, aahh, adapt!
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Adapt. Ja, ja. I can- [Deep breath, Prussia. It's just the immortal bird that you have had your whole life and your only means of constant. No big deal, right.]
Korea. I need some beer. Get me some beer. Where is the alcohol?
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Are you in Discedo? I haven't checked.
If you are somewhere else, I do not know where you could get alcohol. I would like some if you find any, though!
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